Is this a way to lose weight?

[Mini]

This refers to my last post about my friend(if you read it):

My friend *thinks* he's fat and wants to lose weight. He's 6'1(or something like that) and around 200-215lbs. I don't think thats bad at all but he thinks it is. He told me the other night that he went to a birthday party but he felt bad for eating alot of stuff(it was at Golden Corral so there was alot of food) I asked him why and he said "Because I have been doing so good at not eating much until tonight, so now I feel bad about it" I tried to explain that not eating is NOT a way to lose weight but he won't listen to me. I was talking to him just now and he is going to town to get something to eat, what is it? A box of crackers! He says he "needs" some so I'm just wondering what he's actually eating. I know he's not telling me the whole truth because he's not a very open guy. I mean he'll tell you stuff but he won't actually tell you(that make sense??) and I don't know any of his friends so I can't ask them..*sigh* why won't people listen?? I told him losing weight meant exersise, water, and eating healthy but he just tells me that he's fat so he can live off that for awhile :rolleyes: He's suppose to come see me for the first time this summer(been friends almost 3 years online) and I told him it didn't matter what he looked like(if that was one of his reasons for not eating) he would always be my best friend. Oh well, I can't do anything about it, thanks for listning if you read this far down.

[JENNIFERCATLADY]

That does NOT sound good. Could he have anorexia or bulimia? That's what it kind of sounds like to me. Support him anyway you can. Other than that I don't know what to tell you.

[Whitequeen39]

It does sound like he is obsessing and may very well have an eating disorder, Unfortunately there isn't much you can do, as trying to "talk reasonablely" to an anorexic or bulemic will get you nowhere unless they recognize that they have a problem and want help.Is there anyone close to him that you could contact and alert? The bad thing is that noone can really help him until he wants help. Sorry I have not been very helpful, but I had anorexia/bulemia for a very long time and noone could help me till I wanted out of the nightmare, even then it is a very hard thing to deal with and all the thoughts and feelings that go with the disease never go away, you just learn to deal with them in a more healthy way.

[freebiegrl22]

Okay, Okay, I'm going to get like brutally honest right now. I have done the same thing, and I still do the same thing as your friend is doing. I have lost 60 pounds by hard core exercising (and I do mean hardcore), diet pills with Ephedra, and eating almost nothing. Can I tell you its healthy? Hell no, because its not. Right now, I bet your friend seriously wants to lose weight be it that he wants to meet you in person or some other reason. The easiest way to lose weight is to stop eating, but if he is not exercising, he will just gain it all back, plus more.

When I first started losing weight, I seriously ate about 50-100 calories a day. I felt horrible about anything I ate, scared to death that I would gain weight. But, I also exercised 1-4 hours a day. I'm feeling the affects now. Because I eat so minimally and exercise so much, my muscles are not developing, they are deteriorating. I take so many pills and take protein shakes now to try and build my muscles up. Also, I have a lot of hanging skin. When you lose weight as fast as I did (I lost almost 30 pounds in a month) you get stretch marks like CRAZY. It looks like I have had 10 kids, lol.

Now here comes the advice. He seriously is not going to listen to you when you tell him to eat. I know I didn't. The more people told me to eat, the less I ate to be honest. Its so hard to explain why too. I could blame pride or even vanity, but its all the same in a sense. And, he also might like the attention this is causing, with everyone concerned. He might like that he is a topic of conversations between friends, even if it causes worry. He's not doing it on purpose. He has low self esteem. Very low, if he is doing what he is doing to himself.

I suggest you tell him the reality of what he is doing. He is not creating muscle, he is destroying it. If he wants fast results, this isn't the way to go, because his body is getting sick from not eating. He needs to learn to eat properly. Its called portion control. Instead of 4 pieces of KFC, eat 2 and green beans. What he doesn't realize is that the more active he is, the more food he needs to REMAIN active. If he is not exercising, its not burning fat, its taking away his muscle, that he is not even developing.

One thing I want to make extremely clear is that I have never had an eating disorder and I still don't. When I started exercising so much, and eating so little, I had no idea what I was doing to my body, and I didn't even care because I was depressed, I was alone, my boyfriend just broke up with me, blah blah blah...Now that I have shed so much weight and am actually on my way to being fit, I realize what I have done wrong. And I'm paying for it by a body almost disfigured by stretch marks, and hanging skin that I have to get SURGICALLY removed. Its not attractive and its impossible to get off by exercise. I hate feeling so bad when I eat. I remember everything I eat. I had a can of ravioli tonight, and its still in my head, ..."how much exercise is it going to take to get that off..." It will almost drive him nuts...But the cool thing that actually does help me is my friends. Just like you are doing for him, my friends were all sooooo worried, but they soon found out there was nothing they could do to stop it. They even had an intervention for me. All you can do is be there for him, tell him how much you care for him just the way he is. Instead of telling him that he is soooo wrong for not eating, try to find information for him on portion control and exercise. Just be there for him and love him anyway he is. If he or you ever need advice or just need to talk, just write me.

[Whitequeen39]

If you think you don't have an eating disorder, I think you maybe should think again....Re-read what you just said, you exercise up to 4 hours a day and obsess about every little thing that goes in your mouth....you take harmful substances(ephedra), and you think you are in "control" because you are "aware" of the mistake you made. I am not flaming you or anything, but girl, you have a serious problem and YES, if say from all you have done you were to end up in the ER or something, um they would be writing ANOREXIA in big red letters on your chart.
The other thing is Mini, if your friend has an eating disorder giving him a nutrition lesson probably isn't going to help. Most anorexics know more about nutrition and food than the average person, but they are so into the food obsession that they just can't follow any proper eating because you become afraid of EVERY BITE that goes in your mouth....fear and guilt even though your rational mind says eating in the right way is ok and will help youi lose weight, you just can't do it. I am not saying not to try and talk to him, but if he is deep into this he is going to have to be seen by professionals who deal in eating disorders.
Please keep us posted on this...

[iluvmybaby]

I have anorexia nervosa, I lost 60 lbs in two and a half months starving myself, obsessive excercising, always scared to it one chip or drink one glass of anything with calories. Because of this I now have permanent damange to certain digestive organs. I was taking ephedra products as well, taking in about 150 calories at most, I exsisted on diet soda and a handful of cheezits. It took me having my hair start to fall out to realize that I had a REAL problem and that if I didnt stop it was going to kill me. The problem was I was getting POSITIVE feedback from everyone that didnt know me intimately, my mom realized it was wrong and told me so until she was blue in the face. The actual person has to realize they have a problem before they can get help

[zitra]

Originally posted by freebiegrl22
The easiest way to lose weight is to stop eating .



This may be the easiest way, but it IS NOT healthy. You coudl end up damaging your body is you just "stop eating"..

[schsa]

I have a guy in my office about that weight and height. Maybe your friend should not diet but start working out instead. He would start building muscle and loose some of the fat. Forget what he is eating, just work out 30 minutes 4 times a week and he would see a real difference.