I am so MAD!!!!!

[monii222]

My grandma is being put in a home which is good, cuz my aunt and uncle are just rotten to her, they take her money and spend on whatever they want, don't pay her bills,don't buy the meds she needs. THey just blow her money, I could never ever do that to my mother what are these people thinking. Also use her money to play bingo.

My grandma actually fell and she hurt so bad that she could not get out of bed for like 3days, and my mother asks these idoits why they did not call the ambulance, they say cuz she never asked. Well DUH!!!!!! she can not get out of bed. Durning these 3 days they never took her to bathroom or cleaned her up again because she never asked. They didn't even feed her very often. My Mom told her that they don't even clean her house, they would leave it for her (my grandma) to clean, and they really trashed the house, she never lived like a hog before. They have a dog and a cat and they would mess and nobody would clean it up. The dog would actuallly knock my grandma down. Even her bed had like pop cans and other trash in it and she would just push it aside and cover up and lay in it. I just don't understand how anyone could treat their mother like that.

Sorry I don't mean to dump this promblem on all of you, but this really upsets me. I went with my mom today to help get my grandma some assitance for her care at the home and I was in tears listening to all of this.

My grandma does seem to be happy now. And I feel better knowing someone is taking care of her.

[llbriteyes]

I've always been of the school that we take care of our own, but after reading this, I have a new outlook on assisted care facilities.

Lind

[YankeeMary]

Can charges be brought to these people? Isn't elderly neglect illegal??? I would for sure check into it..soooo sorry for your grandmother.

[Quaker_Parrots]

My grandma lived with my aunt and her husband, I found out after she died(she died from the trauma of a broken hipa(a few months after the fall), she had a fall in the night, and lay in the floor all day while they were at work--they had left her in the floor) that my aunt(and I use the term very loosely) and her husband would spank my grandma with a belt when she didn't mind!!!!! I have no contact with either one of them anymore, and don't have to now that my mom is gone. I sometimes wonder if she really had a fall, or if my "uncle" had hurt her.

[Dolly<3]

OMG!!! :mad: That's HORRIBLE! There should be some sort of "child abuse" laws for elderly caretakers. Maybe child abuse laws should apply to them. I would have called the police or something... I mean, if your grandmother was their child, she'd be taken away from them!

UGGGGGGH!!!

[redrig]

OMG, that makes me sick to my stomach. Your aunt and uncle should be ashamed of themselves. I would check into pressing charges for elderly abuse. If that can't be done I would simply cut them out of my life.

[MamaFairal]

my Mother(rest her soul)used to live with my older sister(who has also passed)and one time sisters kids were fist fighting and i was told my mom stepped in between them to break it up....mind you Ma was a tiny woman like Estelle on golden girls....lol
Mom called me terrified and asked me to get her outta there...when i picked her up and removed her from that house she was bruised from head to toe! No joke!
I had her stay with me until i arranged her own apt in an assisted place where she stayed till she couldnt take care of herself anymore. SHe ended up having a leg amputated from emphyzema and had to go to a GREAT home where she stayed till she passed in Feb 2002.She always thanked me over and over for getting her outta there.
Your Gram is much better off with family NOT caring for her sorry JMO!

[lpelham]

That's horrible. I've always felt that if you do something bad like that, it will come back on you. If they are lucky, they may get old someday.

But, let me say this...if you can, be sure some reliable family member checks on her in the home. I know we all think that just because you put grandma or grandpa in a home, they will be safe and watched over, but unfortunately, that is not the truth. I see reports of elderly abuse in nursing homes on the web all the time.

Libby

[schsa]

It's called Elder abuse and they can go to jail for neglect. Especially not taking her to the hospital knowing that she could not take herself. She will be better off somewhere that the entire family can look in on her and not just these slackers.

Send her cards and visit whenever you can. The more attention she has the better it will be.

[mrssnoop1]

There is a site I go to to check the state inspections etc of the nursing home my Mom is in. It's www.searchsystems.net. Sorry I don't know how to make it clickabale. Go to your state and click on nursing homes. You can find the last inspection and check back ones also. Someone still needs to do the surprise drop ins at various times of the day to really see what goes on, but I like being able to read the inspection reports too. Thank goodness my Mom is in a great nursing home. We have 2 in our town and the other one is horrible.

After posting I see it automatically is clickable!!!!

[BigLyd1]

This is such a horrible thing. I have had to type reports on elder abuse and I can't believe that people can treat their own parents (or relatives) that horribly. It's physical, mental, and financial abuse.

[ttistin]

Originally posted by lpelham
That's horrible. I've always felt that if you do something bad like that, it will come back on you. If they are lucky, they may get old someday.

But, let me say this...if you can, be sure some reliable family member checks on her in the home. I know we all think that just because you put grandma or grandpa in a home, they will be safe and watched over, but unfortunately, that is not the truth. I see reports of elderly abuse in nursing homes on the web all the time.

Libby


My fathers grandmother was in a nursing home, supposed to be a very good one. She had alzhimers{sp} and she needed someone to tell her to eat go to the bathroom stuff like that. They wouldnt take the time with her. She ended up dying because of the neglect of this place. :( :( :(

[lpelham]

Originally posted by ttistin
My fathers grandmother was in a nursing home, supposed to be a very good one. She had alzhimers{sp} and she needed someone to tell her to eat go to the bathroom stuff like that. They wouldnt take the time with her. She ended up dying because of the neglect of this place. :( :( :(

I am so sorry to hear that ttistin! You know, you pay those places out the wazoo or they end up taking everything your grandparents have worked for all their life then some crap like that happens. I hope you sued them - that is the very least of what should happen to them. It just makes me SO angry when people abuse the elderly!

Libby

[laughsalot]

My blood is boiling after reading this! It sounds like going to a nursing home is going to be a good thing for you dear grandma. I am so sorry for all that has gone on. {{{{{Monii}}}I will keep you and your grandma in my thoughts and prayers! Wish I could do more!

[MusicfanAnnie]

Your Aunt and Uncle should go to jail for elderly abuse..I am so angery on what they had done to your GrandMother. I am so SORRY and you must be so upset. I hope now your GrandMother can now get the help she needs. It's sad when you hear how people treat others so horrible and take advantage...Please keep us posted on what going on and hope charges are brought against your Aunt and Uncle. What they did was a crime..and the hell with them!! I would stay away from them..bad news.

[Lilpetie]

I couldnt agree more with everyone. I am a nurse have worked in nursing facilities most of my 27 yrs of nursing. I suggest the following. Call the state you live in it would be under the government section. Look for abuse hotline. If this is not the appropriate area then explain what you need and they will give you the number to call. Or look for your local ombudsman. These are people assigned to forsee the welfare of the elderly.
Take pictures. Get statements. This will all help.
I truly doubt grandma will help to report her own children who cared for her. (dont know her but this is usually the case)
Good luck and know that if she is in a home that she will get the care she needs now. Also socialization. But like they said get online and check out your local inspection surveys. Ask around. Make sure this is the right home for your grandma.

Hugs to you and grandma

[monii222]

Thanks a bunch to everyone. I love bbs. Everyone is sooooooo sweet.

[monii222]

I just found out today that my aunts kids that lived with my grandma were also very mean to her, they would kick ,smack and even spit on her. I am sooooo glad they will be losing her house now and will have no where to go. May sound mean but I dont care. I want nothing to do with any of them. I love my grandma and I could not ever do anything like that to her. How can people do this? I just don't understand. My grandma didn't ask these people to move in with her, they had nowhere to go and she took them in. So upsetting.

[lpelham]

Originally posted by monii222
I am sooooo glad they will be losing her house now and will have no where to go. May sound mean but I dont care. I want nothing to do with any of them.

Don't feel bad - they brought it upon themselves! I don't even know them, but considering how they treated her, I don't feel the least bit sorry for them! I know older people can wear on your nerves at times - I took care of my grandmother for 12 years. But you don't spit on them or hit them. Like I said, they may be old one day and have someone treat them like that. Karma is a b*tch!

Libby

[mesue]

I worked in a nursing home long ago and had a patient come in, most of you may not understand this but they get a bath first thing, not because their dirty (some are) but because the home does not want to be responsible for current bruises and broken or injured limbs. One little lady I gave her first bath to was totally incoherant due to altzheimers while giving this woman a bath I noticed bruising around her genitalia, I told the nurse, it seems she had been being cared for by her son, but her daughter brought her in and admitted her. After putting her to bed for her afternoon nap me and the nurse looked at all these bruising and documented it, it was clear to us what this poor little soul had been going through. The family when asked about all the bruising swore she had fallen, we had no real proof except all the bruising sadly it would not have held up in a court of law. But whenever we had to clean her up she was in diapers and she was in one of her more aware moments she would scream and fight and beg him by name not to rape her. If you have someone in a nursing home my advice is to visit often and also at meal times to make sure that they are eating enough if they needs assistanace for this. Visit often get with other family members and try and set up times, and check on them often. Your visits make them feel special, they brag to one another and they smile for hours after a visit. And though it is hard to visit the ones who can't communicate and don't know you are there its also good to check on them for your sake and I think some part of them know you are there. Most workers are good people, underpaid and overworked but in every bunch there is sometimes a bad apple so for your family members sake all the way around visit often,

[monii222]

That is an awful story, I cant beleive what some people do to these sweet elderly people. Someone is always visiting my grandma, she seems very happy there, she told me she is finally talking to people,cuz she was afraid to talk to anyone before. She says she likes it there, and wants to stay, cuz she knows she will be feed and taken care of right. Everyone (staff) so far that I have meet is very nice takes their time with her. I even have a few friends that are aides there who look out for her.

[msbabygirl]

Originally posted by Quaker_Parrots
My grandma lived with my aunt and her husband, I found out after she died(she died from the trauma of a broken hipa(a few months after the fall), she had a fall in the night, and lay in the floor all day while they were at work--they had left her in the floor) that my aunt(and I use the term very loosely) and her husband would spank my grandma with a belt when she didn't mind!!!!! I have no contact with either one of them anymore, and don't have to now that my mom is gone. I sometimes wonder if she really had a fall, or if my "uncle" had hurt her.

I can't even imagine what sick things go through some people's minds. Personally, I'm greatful to God that My grandparents lived with us my whole life so we never had to worry about abuse but I think I would seriously have to seek legal action in these cases. Good luck. :(