SIL VENT-------Long

[JWWB2000]

You know this is something I just need to get off of my chest!!!! My sister in law is a stay at home mom, which I have NOTHING against if you are able to do this, but the fact is her and her husband were not in that financial position to do this. I am not sure what all events happened for this to happen but her husband left her. They have two boys, one will be 4 this month and the other is 15 months old. I know I should not feel this way but I do not feel sorry for her. For the past 10 years they have been married, she has not had a job whatsoever. Now she is all "feel sorry for me because I have no job and my husband left." It really just kills me. She never let her husband help with the disipline of the children, which shows tremedously!! She has an unruly almost 4 year old and a 15 month old that will wail if you tell him no. She will not tell the truth as to why her husband left, just he left and she doesn't know why. And to top it all off, she is going to ask for $1000 a month for child support? WTF? She should have gotten off of her lazy bum a long time ago and did something. It would not have taken much to take a computer class here and there then maybe she would have a some type of job skill to fall back on to support herself. I am sorry to offend anyone with this but she is just a pain in the arse relative, even her brother, my husband, says the same thing. She has NEVER had to do without something because either her mom or mother in law would help them out. They haven't had to buy one piece of furniture in their entire house. It was eithere given to them because someone was getting new or it was sitting on the curb. Then she had the nerve to say this "If it wasn't for my mom, then we wouldn't have anything in our house. Oh, but the furniture you all have is nice too." :eek: I wanted to say something then but I didn't want to start something during the holiday season. Our furniture cost my hubby like 35 hours overtime at his work or we would not have gotten it.

And then she has the nerve to ask how my annoying dog was doing. HELLO! <as I am tapping her on the shoulder> I know that everyone is not a dog person, especially pugs, but he is still a pup and wants all the attention in the world. He is like a child to me along with my other two fur babies. He fits our personalities to a tee!! Hyper and doesn't like to sit around unless it is time for a nap.

She is 28 years old and hasn't worked for anything in her life. She takes everything for granted and thinks the everyone OWES her the world. I really don't think so. And plus she does good to get out of her pajamas during the day to even get a shower. How much could she expect someone to OWE her?

Sorry to be so lenghty but she really gets to me. I guess if we wanted to live the way they were doing, then I would stay at home with my daughter, two pugs, cat, and soon to be son, due in May. I do not like to live buy stealing from Paul to pay Peter!

I am not bashing on anyone here, just wanted to get this crap off of my chest. She is just being a pain!!!!!!

[schsa]

When the courts award her $350 and her husband can't afford to pay, she will just move in with her mom. She has it easy so why shouldn't she take advantage of it. After all, no one has told her that she can't mooch off of them. And until they do, she can do as she pleases.

Sorry but she has worked everyone and she has the upper hand. I give her 6 months after the divorce to be married again and staying at home with her kids.

[JWWB2000]

Let me also add that she is not one to wear makeup and buzz cuts her hair because she doesn't want to deal with it. She has manly legs and armpits because, get this, she doesn't have time to deal with shaving. I don't know too many guys out there who still like the au natural style on women. Maybe in another county but not here in the US.

[zitra]

I have to say, that when hubby and I were first married ( I was preggers within the first week)my MIL did buy us a kitchen table, as well as a living room set (couch/love seat/end tables)..I really see nothing wrong with parents helping out when and if they can..My MIL is always updating her furniture, and giving either my BIL or us her old furniture..I even have my BIL's old (well 2 year old ) sectional couch in my basement..it will go into our downstairs family room when we are done remodeling. We do the same thing, when/if we have furniture we no longer need/will use we give it to a relative or friend who might need it.
I think the amount of child support she wants depends upon how much he made..from what my hubby makes, if we were ever to separate I would expect AT LEAST $1000 a month child support for our two kids if not a little more.. Now if hubby made less, I would expect to get less. My hubby's uncle who is now deceased paid $100,000 a month in child support (but he was a VP at Pfizer)...I think if her hubby makes an adequate wage, she would be well within her rights to expect that much...
I do have to say if she expects that much, of he has a low paying min. wage job, she needs a reality check...
My Sis, was recently divorced..she quit working when she became pregnant with her first child, becuase she wanted to be a fulltime mom..Things were tight at first becuase of this, but today with the amount child care costs sometimes it almost isn't worth it to even get a min. wage job..becuase most if not all of your $ would go towards child care...around here unless you are lucky enough to be able to find somone who will babysit in their home, you are looking at $30 a day per child at the low end..if like most people I know, you have to go to a day care, it is $60 per child per day at the low end (my SIL pays $90 a day each for her kids to go to day care)...I myself worked but only for a few months, even though, we were on a tight budget, becuase all but around $10-$20 of my paycheck went to pay for the sitter for my boys..It just didn't seem worth it, all that work, and $10-$20 to show for it...

[JWWB2000]

Just to update---I am pretty sure her hubby makes around $38,000 a year. It just doesn't seem to add up to me. I too live in an area where childcare is out the window with the price. But I still work. If they were to have tried something like, her working different hours than him, then she would not be in such a bind and wanting everyone to feel sorry for her.

[ezmoney163]

(((HUGS)))

[GaPeachy]

Originally posted by JWWB2000
Just to update---I am pretty sure her hubby makes around $38,000 a year. It just doesn't seem to add up to me. I too live in an area where childcare is out the window with the price. But I still work. If they were to have tried something like, her working different hours than him, then she would not be in such a bind and wanting everyone to feel sorry for her.

This is what me and my dh do.This is also what my parents and grandparents did.She seems like the type that would annoy the crap outta me,too!!Good luck!

[zitra]

Originally posted by JWWB2000
Just to update---I am pretty sure her hubby makes around $38,000 a year. It just doesn't seem to add up to me. I too live in an area where childcare is out the window with the price. But I still work. If they were to have tried something like, her working different hours than him, then she would not be in such a bind and wanting everyone to feel sorry for her.

Hubby and I thought about that too, but didn't for the simple fact, WE and the kids would NEVER have ANY time togther...

As for your parents giving her furniture, and everythign else came rfom the "curb"... SO?? You parents helped her out with furniture..that is what parents do (when they can)..I can't tell you how many times, my MIL or another relative has given us furniture that they no longer need, or bought us something (when we were starting out)..Nor for the "curb" comment..LOTS of people pick up furniture they pick up from the curb..in fact I have heard people on BBS talkign about doign just that..it's called "dumpster diving"..here we have what is called the "jaycee junk drive"..everyone takes out their used furniture/applaices/bicycles/etc. and puts them on the curb...everyone drives around so see what everyone put out that day, and if they want it they pick it up..I myself have gotten a few nice peices of furniture that we have refinished..My MIL put out a old barber's chair, and a huge box of books, as well as a almost brand new mattress, because it didn't fit her bed..it was all gone within an hour. I put out a couch and love seat, that was about 8 years old, and it was gone about 3 hours after putting it out.. and then whatever is left the next morning the "jaycees" take away...

" I also don't see anywhere in your post where your sister is "stealing from Peter to pay Paul"...nothing in your posts (maybe I missed something?) that i read shows anywhere where she is stealing from anywhere..she wants child support (maybe more than she should get, but she'll soon find that out), and she has been given furniture by you parents..again at least to me, that is what family does for each other, when they need it..

Not trying to take a dig at your gripe or anything, you have every right to feel any way you want to about it, it is just my take on things..

[JWWB2000]

I am sorry if I have mislead anyone but she is not thankful for what she has. She has taken all of the items that were given to her for granted and expects them to do this whenever they are in a bind. I myself do not have a problem with family helping out but when it comes expecting it because that is how it was handled in the past just doesn't cut it for me.

I also did not clarify that they are WAY far behind and didn't even have an extra 10 bucks to go and get a movie. They were living paycheck to paycheck and even then not making it. They bought a house 2 years ago, have not done any repairs or updates since, and somehow have a second mortage on the house. We are still trying to figure this one out.

When my hubby and I are in a bind we do not get on the phone and call either parents to help us out, I guess we have way too much pride to ask but her on the other hand, has no problem in asking and when she ask, she expects to get what she wants or she will put on one hell of show that she just can't handle things.

If you all only knew her you would understand.

[momfromTN]

Ok, you do have a right to feel the way you do, but the fact that she was a SAHM has no bearing on this. Maybe that is what she and her husband decided they would do. That does NOT mean one is lazy and doesn't work. A home is a job too. Now, I used to be a SAHM too and got called lazy, etc. But, you know what? I am working now, from home, to make sure if me and my DH ever divorce, that I have something. I don't trust men as far as I could throw them, quite frankly. As far as what your parents and her inlaws give you, that is none of yours or anyone else's business. You sound, sorry to say, almost jealous, in a way. Well.. maybe Jealous isn't the right word, but...

And I DO sympathize with her husband abandoning her and the kids and honestly, if it were a thing with fidelity, I would be taking him for all I could get too. My DH makes 12 an hour. With overtime, he makes around 30 thou or so a year. Not a lot, but not bad. If he were to leave me and the kids, I would fully expect at least a third or fourth of his income in child support for the kids. Our son goes to private school and why should he quit just because Daddy wanted a divorce. You know, things like that. And, if she was a SAHM, he should help support the house until she gets training or a job. If you want to leave your wife and kids, you need to pay thru the nose as far as I am concerned.

So don't worry anymore. She will be getting a dose of reality sooner than you think. You have your husband and you do well for yourself. Be proud.

[zitra]

Originally posted by momfromTN
Ok, you do have a right to feel the way you do, but the fact that she was a SAHM has no bearing on this. Maybe that is what she and her husband decided they would do. That does NOT mean one is lazy and doesn't work. A home is a job too. Now, I used to be a SAHM too and got called lazy, etc. But, you know what? I am working now, from home, to make sure if me and my DH ever divorce, that I have something. I don't trust men as far as I could throw them, quite frankly. As far as what your parents and her inlaws give you, that is none of yours or anyone else's business. You sound, sorry to say, almost jealous, in a way. Well.. maybe Jealous isn't the right word, but...

And I DO sympathize with her husband abandoning her and the kids and honestly, if it were a thing with fidelity, I would be taking him for all I could get too. My DH makes 12 an hour. With overtime, he makes around 30 thou or so a year. Not a lot, but not bad. If he were to leave me and the kids, I would fully expect at least a third or fourth of his income in child support for the kids. Our son goes to private school and why should he quit just because Daddy wanted a divorce. You know, things like that. And, if she was a SAHM, he should help support the house until she gets training or a job. If you want to leave your wife and kids, you need to pay thru the nose as far as I am concerned.

So don't worry anymore. She will be getting a dose of reality sooner than you think. You have your husband and you do well for yourself. Be proud.

You said it better than i ever could..that is exactly how i was feeling..you just put it into words better than i could.

[JWWB2000]

The thing is she hasn't worked for over 10 years!!! They did not have children anytime soon after they were married. Too busy living the party life with drugs and alcohol but she won't admit that to her parents because they spent a ton of money on her in detox when she was younger. She is a lazy person who expected everything to be handed to her on a silver platter and now that her life is turned upside down, she has no clue but have people fell sorry for her.

And I guess you could say I am a bit jealous of her being able to stay at home but I also would not put my family in a financial bind because I wanted and insisted on staying at home with my children. Maybe I just have a different outlook on life but I know if my hubby were to leave me, I know I would just keep living day after day the way I am and just pushing my Avon a bit more to come up with a little extra every month. I do have a full time job where I alone make $43,000 a year and that does not include any of my hubby's job or my Avon on the side.

[fatesfaery]

DH and I would never ask either set of parents for anything either. My in-laws did buy us our first TV and living room set as a wedding gift, but in my way of thinking, if we were old enough to be married, we needed to be old enough to support ourselves.Maybe it's just a pride issue, but I've never been one to talk about our financial situation to family. There were plenty of times in the early years when money was extremely tight, but we always managed.

DH wanted me to stay home with the kids,which for the most part I did, but if money was tight, I worked.

She may not be so far off base on child support, DH and I were separated for a little over 4 years(97-02). DH was making 35-37K a year at the time, I was making about 28K he paid me $500 a month for DD when she was living with me.He also paid for 1/2 of her clothing and any school supplies she needed. Mine wasn't court ordered, so that may not be the norm.

And if I were a guy.....I wouldn't be staying with a woman who wouldn't bathe, shave her legs or her underarms...that's just beyond nasty.

[momfromTN]

Originally posted by JWWB2000
The thing is she hasn't worked for over 10 years!!! They did not have children anytime soon after they were married. Too busy living the party life with drugs and alcohol but she won't admit that to her parents because they spent a ton of money on her in detox when she was younger. She is a lazy person who expected everything to be handed to her on a silver platter and now that her life is turned upside down, she has no clue but have people fell sorry for her.

And I guess you could say I am a bit jealous of her being able to stay at home but I also would not put my family in a financial bind because I wanted and insisted on staying at home with my children. Maybe I just have a different outlook on life but I know if my hubby were to leave me, I know I would just keep living day after day the way I am and just pushing my Avon a bit more to come up with a little extra every month. I do have a full time job where I alone make $43,000 a year and that does not include any of my hubby's job or my Avon on the side.

Well crap! If I made $43,000 a yr I would have no worries either. And I have a good friend who has never worked outside the home. She and her DH have good money sense and savings, but the fact that she has never worked outside the home makes no difference. If he left her, she would be entitled to money from him. By Gosh, I have cooked, cleaned and dealt with my DH's family and other crap for nearly 13 yrs. I would VERY MUCH be entitled to compensation.
If you wanted to stay home with your kids, you could do it. Child care costs are why I have either been home fully or only doing part time or jobs when DH was home. It would not be worth my while to schlep my kids to a daycare. Maybe not in your case, but in some people's cases, it costs more to have the spouse work than not.
And, I would also continue living if my DH left me. But, as much as I hate to say it since she IS a PITA, give her some time to adjust the life. Some people just cannot turn it off and on as quickly. She will be getting her reality dose and maybe it will change her. But, I stil say any man who leaves his wife and kids needs to pay thru the nose.

[zitra]

Originally posted by momfromTN
Well crap! If I made $43,000 a yr I would have no worries either. And I have a good friend who has never worked outside the home. She and her DH have good money sense and savings, but the fact that she has never worked outside the home makes no difference. If he left her, she would be entitled to money from him. By Gosh, I have cooked, cleaned and dealt with my DH's family and other crap for nearly 13 yrs. I would VERY MUCH be entitled to compensation.
If you wanted to stay home with your kids, you could do it. Child care costs are why I have either been home fully or only doing part time or jobs when DH was home. It would not be worth my while to schlep my kids to a daycare. Maybe not in your case, but in some people's cases, it costs more to have the spouse work than not.
And, I would also continue living if my DH left me. But, as much as I hate to say it since she IS a PITA, give her some time to adjust the life. Some people just cannot turn it off and on as quickly. She will be getting her reality dose and maybe it will change her. But, I stil say any man who leaves his wife and kids needs to pay thru the nose.

I agree..I have been married almost 12 years. I have worked 3 months of those 12 years..I don't think how long she has not worked should have a bearing on anything..If my hubby were to leave me, for any reason, I would expect child support as well as alimony

[JWWB2000]

Sorry but this just seems to be a thorn in a lot of sides here over working or not working. I was just tired of hearing about her "pittines" and needed to vent about it cause it is just got to me.

I did not post what I make to make a point. The only reason I make that kind of money is because I was in the Navy for over 4 years, put on second class, and then decided the Navy wasn't for me anymore. I then went to work on aircraft, S3B Viking, the same as I did in the Navy. I was so sick and tired of the people I had to deal with on a regular basis that I was fortunate enough to find another job which paid me more money a year and without all the headaches.

Like I said before, I just needed to vent!!!! Thought you all would understand.

[DAVESBABYDOLL]

I understand JWWB2000. I have been on both sides of the fence. I went to school the first 4 years of marraige (with 2 kids,day care on one income) then worked for 13 years making almost 80,000 a year on my own as an RN supervisor~lots of OT,when we moved From CA. to Ohio,I didn't work for a year so I could spend time with my kids,got divorced went back to work for a private family Hospice(great hours) and diliverd mail, yes mail,my income was cut way back..but I had saved alot of money from my nursing job and bought my own home here I paid 3/4 of my house off with my down payment.I did get child support of a little more the $850 a month for 2 kids (based on ex's income of 55,000) Mail route was temp. so was over after a year,went somewhere else,was layed off in Sept. Child support is paid "whenever",so I am thankful I did it on my own buying a house,I know how to save money....and NEVER RELIED ON CHILD SUPPORT OR ALIMONY FOR MEANS OF MONEY. So zitra,if you and hubby ever do split,don't count on that money you WANT to always be there...rely on yourself,I have seen SO many women rely on cs or alimony and something happens and it's gone and then they are SOL.ALWAYS BE PREPARED TO DO IT ON YOUR OWN.Asking for help if you need it,is fine,but you can't rely on that either.As far as SAHM's go....that's the toughest job anyone can have,and for a working mom that is also the toughest job anyone can have.

[momfromTN]

Well, I will tell you one thing. If my Dh were to abandon me and his kids and not pay for them, he would never see them if I could swing it. But, I would get out and do for myself. That is why I am working now, even though it is from home. You cannot depend on men. My DH wants me to work AND do everything else and cannot understand why I am pooped out. He doesn't watch the kids when I try to work, and then gets pissed when my check is lower than usual. It is never ending.

It is too bad WOHMs, and SAHMs cannot respect each other's decision. I don't pass judgement on mom's who work outside the home, because I don't know their situation. Same with SAHMs. I don't automatically assume they are lazy. I am what people call a WAHM. Work at home Mom. I get it coming and going. DH thinks because I am home, I am really not working like he is. GRRRR!

[JWWB2000]

Originally posted by momfromTN

It is too bad WOHMs, and SAHMs cannot respect each other's decision. I don't pass judgement on mom's who work outside the home, because I don't know their situation. Same with SAHMs. I don't automatically assume they are lazy. I am what people call a WAHM. Work at home Mom. I get it coming and going. DH thinks because I am home, I am really not working like he is. GRRRR! [/B]


The thing is my SIL has not worked since the day they met and that was well over 11 years ago. He has always been the one to work, even before the two of them had children. She became very dependant on her husband so she could get by without having to work which didn't work out. Now for her to collect all the food stamps and whatever financial aid from the state, she has to get some job training because she has never had a job to support herself. This was brought onto herself for not doing a little something. Heck, doing all the surveys a lot of you guys do online would have helped them out trememdously but did she even bother, NO. That is one of the main reasons I am saying she is lazy and plus she is upset that in order to maintain her welfare, she must take the job training and get a job.

So, like I had mentioned before, all she wants is a handout from people and for them to feel sorry for her while she stays at home. She didn't even get up in the morning to make her hubby's lunch or even have dinner started when he got home. They were always eating fast food or whatever he would make for himself. I am not saying staying at home is easy but I would at least have dinner made and to be out of my pj's and taken a shower by the time he came home.

[MamaFairal]

Originally posted by JWWB2000
Let me also add that she is not one to wear makeup and buzz cuts her hair because she doesn't want to deal with it. She has manly legs and armpits because, get this, she doesn't have time to deal with shaving. I don't know too many guys out there who still like the au natural style on women. Maybe in another county but not here in the US.

WOw maybe this is why hubby left her......he felt he was starting to live with a man not a wife.....lol

YUK!

[zitra]

Originally posted by DAVESBABYDOLL
So zitra,if you and hubby ever do split,don't count on that money you WANT to always be there...rely on yourself,I have seen SO many women rely on cs or alimony and something happens and it's gone and then they are SOL.ALWAYS BE PREPARED TO DO IT ON YOUR OWN.Asking for help if you need it,is fine,but you can't rely on that either.As far as SAHM's go....that's the toughest job anyone can have,and for a working mom that is also the toughest job anyone can have.



Thanks, but I won't ONLY rely on geting this money..I have worked before I met hubby, just decided to take care of my kids instead of work...what I meant in my earlier post is that I would expect him to have to pay at least that much, and possbily alimony (from what he earns)..I was just responding to a ealier post where the OP was upset her sister wanted $1000 in child support a month..I was just letting her know that in some cases that is feasible to get (depending on how much the hubby earns), and that JUST beacuse she hasn't worked while she was married doesn't mean she is lazy..

[JWWB2000]

Zitra----If you only knew what kind of person she is then maybe you would understand why I am stating she is a bit on the lazy side.

[zitra]

Originally posted by JWWB2000
The thing is my SIL has not worked since the day they met and that was well over 11 years ago. He has always been the one to work, even before the two of them had children. She became very dependant on her husband so she could get by without having to work which didn't work out. Now for her to collect all the food stamps and whatever financial aid from the state, she has to get some job training because she has never had a job to support herself. This was brought onto herself for not doing a little something. Heck, doing all the surveys a lot of you guys do online would have helped them out trememdously but did she even bother, NO. That is one of the main reasons I am saying she is lazy and plus she is upset that in order to maintain her welfare, she must take the job training and get a job.

So, like I had mentioned before, all she wants is a handout from people and for them to feel sorry for her while she stays at home. She didn't even get up in the morning to make her hubby's lunch or even have dinner started when he got home. They were always eating fast food or whatever he would make for himself. I am not saying staying at home is easy but I would at least have dinner made and to be out of my pj's and taken a shower by the time he came home.

From what you post about your sister, I agree with most of what you say about HER, but I still don't see why it matters long she has not worked..I have not worked in over 12 years, by choice..lots of SAHM have been out of the work force for years..even though I haven't worked for a lot time, I am not lazy..I do alot here at home, that if I did not do, would cost an arm and a leg..
Yes from what you posted (after your OP) your sister is lazy, and looking for a hand out, but I don't think any SAHM is lazy just becuase she hasn't worked for a long time.

[DAVESBABYDOLL]

zitra~getting good child support/alimony IS feasible BUT, it is also feasible for the abscent hubby to not pay, ei: lose job,move etc...As in my case, for 17 years my ex ole man worked,never a day off sick, great pay...we split and all of a sudden the Union doesn't have work. I was granted over $850 a month...do I get that NO he is in arrears thousands!!!

And OP wasn't saying the chick was lazy
because she hadn't worked while married,she said she was lazy because she DID NOT DO ANYTHING! even shave..that's the point she was trying to get across. Savvy?


:)

[DAVESBABYDOLL]

OP DID NOT SAY ANYWHERE IN HER THREAD THAT SAHM ARE LAZY...WHERE ARE YOU GETTING THAT FROM? SHE IS TALKING SPECIFICALLY ABOUT HER SIL! NOT ALL SAHM

[zitra]

Originally posted by DAVESBABYDOLL
OP DID NOT SAY ANYWHERE IN HER THREAD THAT SAHM ARE LAZY...WHERE ARE YOU GETTING THAT FROM? SHE IS TALKING SPECIFICALLY ABOUT HER SIL! NOT ALL SAHM

I was orginally responding to her OP..in that post it sounded ( to me at least) that she thought her sister was lazy becuase she hadn't worked for years during her marriage, and her parents gave her stuff..in later posts she clarified why she thought her sister was lazy...the OP has stated in a few of her posts that her sister hasn't worked in over 10 years, and she thinks she is lazy for it..I take a slight bit offense to that becuase I am a SAHM nad i haven't worked in over 10 years either (so to me that is callign most SAHMs lazy who have not worked for over 10 years, maybe I am wrogn but that is how I read it)...and in my last post I agreed wit hher, that after what she posted in later posts her sister is lazy, but still don't think it matters how much time a SAHM has or has not worked..

[JWWB2000]

Let me enlighten you all a little more on my SIL-----

She has a soon to be four year old who has no manners, ie bump into you and just keep going, then when you ask him after he does it again what do you say, he just gives you that blank stare; he will just take your drink as if it is his without asking, the same with food; when you try to correct him by asking him not to run in the house or jump on the funiture, he starts frailing around on the ground and saying let me go, don't touch me. Now onto the 15 month old, if you tell him no, he will just wail as if you are beating him. By the time my daughter was 9 months old she was telling us no. She really does not do anything as far as time out or anything to that nature with them. She has always been like boys will be boys. Like Heck they will be with my daughter. Her oldest hit my daughter with a toy very hard and all she said was "Odie, you will be okay". She has some nerve!!!!

Now onto her, she doesn't shave, cook, drive (no DL), and does very little cleaning.

Hope this helps out with why I say she is on the lazy side.

[DAVESBABYDOLL]

Originally posted by Eliza
It seems like people are getting rather defensive over a post about somebody’s SIL. OP said right from the get go she has nothing against SAHMs.
She despises her SIL, who just so happens to be a SAHM, but not because of that. That is how I am reading it anyway.


EXACTLY!!!THANK YOU Eliza!! AND WELCOME TO BBS :)

[JWWB2000]

{Clapping because the point was saw}

Thank you!!!

Welcome to BBS Eliza! :)

[Azriel_LittleHawk]

your SIL sounds like she is extrmemly depressed...a 4 yr old and a 15 month old..hmm...can we say postpartum depression? *think thats the term*
i think she should go see a Dr. maybe get some antidipressants. and i cannot b'leive that SHE is the only REASON he lft her.

it just seems as if she is getting all this blame for something that needs to be put on his head as well as hers.

maybe she is the person you describe..has anyone considered she might be in a depressive episode?


just a thought.

G'luck!

[JWWB2000]

Azriel_LittleHawk-----I am not saying it was completely her at fault in the marriage just I do not feel she put enough into her marriage. The truth as to why he left has not been told because everytime you ask her about it, the story changes.

I know staying at home raising children is not easy but there are other things she could have done but choose not to. As far as her being on medication, she is. She claims to have OCD but my hubby said that her father, which is his stepdad, metally abused her and that is why she is this way now. She lives in her own la la land where everything is just perfect when it isn't.