curlymae29
01-03-2004, 08:12 PM
What Have I Done?
As I slept blissfully one night in my warm, soft bed, a dream came upon me. I was walking down a road. Darkness surrounded me. I came to a group of houses. I stepped up to the first door and knocked. The door opened just enough for the little boys eye to peer out. "Who's there?" he asked in a frightened voice. I answered the young man of about thirteen years of age. The door flew open and he excitedly pulled me inside.
I walked up to the next house and knocked on the door. Through the glass pane I could see a middle aged woman dressed in a business suit, pouring over paperwork. "Not now." She yelled, "I have to get this work done. Try again later."
At the next house I found a young mother and father. Two small children ran around their legs. Both parents were tired and the hour was very late. But when I knocked the both welcomed me in. They were so grateful for my visit. As I left they both seemed somewhat refreshed and renewed.
I barely had time to knock at the next house when an elderly woman threw open the door and almost drug me off my feet pulling me inside. She fell to my feet, crying.
I returned to the house of the businesswoman. The table had been cleared of her paperwork and I could see her briefcase sitting next to the door. She was finished with her work. I saw her standing at the stove stirring simmering pots. I knocked. Without so much of a glance my way, she yelled, "Can you come back later? I have to get supper ready for my family."
I moved on to another house. This time I found a man who was reluctant to open his door. "Whatever you have to sell, I've already bought it." He said through the closed door. I left with a heavy heart.
I ventured to yet another house. At this house I found the door standing open and inside I found a young lady sitting curled up reading. Yes, I remember being here a while back. As I left her house I realized that all houses I had visited the doors were standing open except the two.
Again I tired the door of the businesswoman. I could see dishes in the strainer. Now she would answer, so I knocked and waited. No answer. I knocked again. From a distant room I heard her call out. "Not now, I'm trying to get this nasty house cleaned up." I called out to her. "Let me in and I will clean it for you." She neared the door, but stopped just inside the shadows and said. "No, I'll do it by myself."
I revisited the reluctant man. This time he didn't open the door, but he didn't send me away. Instead he began to question me. After a lengthy battery of questions, he opened the door a couple of inches, but still didn't allow me entrance. "Are you sure you have the right house?" He asked. "Are you sure you have the right person? I don't think you realize who I am. What I've done. I don't think I can do it." Trying to reassure him I told him "No, you can't do it. But I can and I will. It doesn't matter who you were or what you've done. You are the person I'm looking for." Slowly but surely he opened the door and embraced me.
Back to the businesswoman. I knocked. Knocked again. And again. The house was quiet. The house was now dark. Was I too late? Had she left? I continued to knock. Finally she appeared in the shadows. I called out to her. I pleaded with her to let me in. She approached the door and reached for the handle. Her hand paused there for a moment before she twisted the lock. I heard a click. She was locking me out. As she began to draw the shade I saw her face for the first time. It was me. My own face was staring at me with such coldness and hatred. As my other self drew the shade closed, I heard myself say "Go away!"
I stood outside my own locked door with emotions welling up inside me. Didn't my other self know who I was? Why did my other self hate me so? Why was my other self rejecting me? Doesn't my other self realize I only want to be in her life? The tears began to fall. My heart ached. There was a great void in myself. I began to shiver with sobs. This pain was so great. As I turned to leave I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the glass. It wasn't my tears streaming down. It wasn't my pain I was feeling. It wasn't my face I was seeing. It was face of Jesus.
As I slept blissfully one night in my warm, soft bed, a dream came upon me. I was walking down a road. Darkness surrounded me. I came to a group of houses. I stepped up to the first door and knocked. The door opened just enough for the little boys eye to peer out. "Who's there?" he asked in a frightened voice. I answered the young man of about thirteen years of age. The door flew open and he excitedly pulled me inside.
I walked up to the next house and knocked on the door. Through the glass pane I could see a middle aged woman dressed in a business suit, pouring over paperwork. "Not now." She yelled, "I have to get this work done. Try again later."
At the next house I found a young mother and father. Two small children ran around their legs. Both parents were tired and the hour was very late. But when I knocked the both welcomed me in. They were so grateful for my visit. As I left they both seemed somewhat refreshed and renewed.
I barely had time to knock at the next house when an elderly woman threw open the door and almost drug me off my feet pulling me inside. She fell to my feet, crying.
I returned to the house of the businesswoman. The table had been cleared of her paperwork and I could see her briefcase sitting next to the door. She was finished with her work. I saw her standing at the stove stirring simmering pots. I knocked. Without so much of a glance my way, she yelled, "Can you come back later? I have to get supper ready for my family."
I moved on to another house. This time I found a man who was reluctant to open his door. "Whatever you have to sell, I've already bought it." He said through the closed door. I left with a heavy heart.
I ventured to yet another house. At this house I found the door standing open and inside I found a young lady sitting curled up reading. Yes, I remember being here a while back. As I left her house I realized that all houses I had visited the doors were standing open except the two.
Again I tired the door of the businesswoman. I could see dishes in the strainer. Now she would answer, so I knocked and waited. No answer. I knocked again. From a distant room I heard her call out. "Not now, I'm trying to get this nasty house cleaned up." I called out to her. "Let me in and I will clean it for you." She neared the door, but stopped just inside the shadows and said. "No, I'll do it by myself."
I revisited the reluctant man. This time he didn't open the door, but he didn't send me away. Instead he began to question me. After a lengthy battery of questions, he opened the door a couple of inches, but still didn't allow me entrance. "Are you sure you have the right house?" He asked. "Are you sure you have the right person? I don't think you realize who I am. What I've done. I don't think I can do it." Trying to reassure him I told him "No, you can't do it. But I can and I will. It doesn't matter who you were or what you've done. You are the person I'm looking for." Slowly but surely he opened the door and embraced me.
Back to the businesswoman. I knocked. Knocked again. And again. The house was quiet. The house was now dark. Was I too late? Had she left? I continued to knock. Finally she appeared in the shadows. I called out to her. I pleaded with her to let me in. She approached the door and reached for the handle. Her hand paused there for a moment before she twisted the lock. I heard a click. She was locking me out. As she began to draw the shade I saw her face for the first time. It was me. My own face was staring at me with such coldness and hatred. As my other self drew the shade closed, I heard myself say "Go away!"
I stood outside my own locked door with emotions welling up inside me. Didn't my other self know who I was? Why did my other self hate me so? Why was my other self rejecting me? Doesn't my other self realize I only want to be in her life? The tears began to fall. My heart ached. There was a great void in myself. I began to shiver with sobs. This pain was so great. As I turned to leave I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the glass. It wasn't my tears streaming down. It wasn't my pain I was feeling. It wasn't my face I was seeing. It was face of Jesus.