in-laws... enough said?

[stickers]

I am just going crazy... here I will vent for you :)

We live here in a state far from my family and part of his, only his mom and grandma are here.

Holidays always stink with them because they complain all the time and just want us to come over from out of town to fix things and nothing else.

The holidays are the worst because I have chronic allergies and my husband ends up doing all the cooking because hi mom is just lazy.

anyway, our business is doing quite well online this year and since she heard about it she wants a $500 Bose radio for christmas and told us where to get it.

For the past 5 + years the woman has bought all of our gifts for .50 each at yard sales! EVERY YEAR and now she expects a $500 radio?

Not only that but she never EVER invites our daughter to spend time at her home even though she is the "only" grandchild she has in this state.

I'm going crazy and my husband feels the same way. He talks about how she was a horrible parent sleeping 24/7 and if he was lucky enough to get a holiday gift it was one item that his dad returned for pocket money.

It took me 10 years to get him to like the holidays, but by the time Christmas morning is here, his mom sucks the fun right out of it.

I don't know what to do. I am just so tired.

she also smokes up a storm and I am horribly illergic to cig smoke. I get entire body pains, sinus trouble and migrain headaches that literally last for 2-3 weeks when they act up so i am sick from the day after thanksgiving until a few weeks into January.

I just don't know what to do anymore.

She has now gotten to the point where she won't even take out her trash for 2 weeks! The counters are dirty etc. Plus she was told that if her mom eats sugar, her diabetes could kill her and 99% (literally) 99% of all the food is sugar cookies, candies and snack bars in the house!

All this I have said is true, anyone else going through this kind of thing? What can I do? If we don't go over to visit, we only have us 3 for the holidays and his grandma would be stuck with his mom.

Grrrr!

Thanks for listening.

[DAVESBABYDOLL]

I wouldn't be going over anymore....Negativity brings Negativity.Spend the holidays with "your" little family,seems you and your hubby need a well earned break from the "mom"

[zitra]

I would also stop going to her home...just don't spend the holidays with them..Christmas is about family (YOUR FAMILY) You do what is best for you/hubby and daughter..if that doesn't include anyone else, so be it.

[freeby4me]

I would highly suggest not getting that radio for her. First off, by the sounds of her she wouldnt even take care of it! second off, me being a former smoker its just plain o'le RUDE of her to smoke around you! Smoker or not if she actually cared she would not be smoking near you knowing what it causes you. I say send her a d*mn card that says merry christmas dont let the tree hit ur a** on the way out the door! Sorry for the rambling i just think its so sad for her to treat you and your family that way!
sending hugs for you and your hubby
{{{{{hugs}}}}}

[schsa]

Very simple. For Thanksgiving, go out to a restaurant and sit in a non-smoking area. That way you don't have to worry about going over to her house and cleaning up before you eat. It will probably cost a bit more but you avoid the cigarette smoke and you can limit your time to an hour rather than hours of being together.

Next, Christmas is for your family. If they want to come over, fine but dinner is going to be served at the end of the day or you are just having finger foods and no real meal as such. If they want to come over, fine but no smoking in the house. And don't put the food out until very late so that they will leave early.

You should not spend your time trying to please a woman who will not be pleased. Because regardless of what you do, she isn't going to like it. And a $500 radio is out of line. If you enjoy Grandma, maybe you should plan time with her alone.

[Azriel_LittleHawk]

look..if this is making you , hbbby and DD miserable..then ...get this..DON"T GO TO THIS BITCA"S HOUSE!!
dang lady...obviously the hubby doesn't want to go..and it looks as if there is other family in the state? crap doesn't matter..let other family take care of going this year!!

stay at home..and have the "peace on Earth " !!

why are you toturing yourself, DH & DD? DON"T GO!!!

very simple.

**good luck**

[CAMSmama]

My Husbands mom is the same way. she only lives about 20 minutes from MY mom and the drive for us is about 13 hours. One year we went to my mom's house for Easter and never even told hubby's mom we were in town until AFTER we got home.

[iluvmybaby]

I HATE hubbys family but tolerate then because I love HIM and he loves them *cough cough* make yourself happy, celebrate your own holidays, dont depend on others to make you happy, make your own holiday traditions.

[queenangie]

I agree with schsa! Go out to eat with them on Christmas Eve in the nonsmoking section. No cooking or clean-up detail for you. Wear something festive in red or green, so that you feel good about yourself. Make the meal 2 hours tops, and don't worry about it before hand. 'The little ones have to get to bed'....or 'you have to make it to the Christmas Eve church service/mass', as your excuse to leave after the 2 hours.

Spend Christmas day with your own little family at home, so the 'little ones can be surprised by Santa Claus!'

[twinkiesmom]

My mom's the same way, she could ask for a million dollars, get it and still find something she's not happy with. Long story short, we spend Xmas with my dad's side of the family. I see my mom's side all the time. Mom's side isn't as close as before anyway cuz everyone has their own issues. If I were you, spend Xmas w/your family if it's within driving distance. Don't let this woman spoil your holidays and dh's.

[AngelGrim]

My mother in law is exactly the same way, so I understand your problems plus I used to smoke and quit and she knows smoke makes me ill and so she will sit right next to me and chain smoke, well we don't put up with it anymore and neither should you. There are others in your family besides you and your dh and dd that can spend time with her, don't take all the load on yourselves.