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View Full Version : want to kill my brother!!! (long)



Dizzyontheweb
11-30-2003, 04:34 PM
The idiot (30 yrs old, though only recently on his own) was dating a psycho who was living with another man. (an ex con on parole). They broke up last year and she caused a lot of trouble, threatening him at his job, etc. He had gotten a car that was in his name, but she had possession of it. My dh and bil helped him get it back. Then she got a loan and the car was signed over to her. He started seeing her again, knowing our family wanted nothing to do with her. THey broke up again after he would not call the other guy's parole officer and tell her he was back on drugs.
She threatened him, beating on his door at 6am. cops called 2 times. With my help he got an order of protection against her. She had also went to his work. and threatened me cause I had a phone in her name that db had given me to mail back (she and only her could sign for it) to her so she did not have reason to see him.

My parents got a letter from the court addressed to db and they opened it cause he had told them to open his mail and throw it away if not important. It said he had cancelled the OP on the 20th.
We had warned him, if he went back to her we would not help him if he needed it. We are furious. This B#### is a psycho. She runs an escort service. she called filling up his phone msg box, one time crying she loves him, 2 minutes later cussing him out. This was just a part of it. He also bought a comp and she has it, suppose to pay for it, threatened to destroy it and leave on doorstep.
We do not know how to handle this, but she will not be allowed in any of our houses. Mom has cried so much and my dad is furious. I hate the lying about it all. when asked directly if he was seeing her he said no. I had told everyone I was sure he meant it when he said he would not go back to her so I feel like a liar too.
Any advice? good to get off chest.

justme23
11-30-2003, 05:39 PM
(((((((((hugz))))))))) first! What a mess! My only advice is to stick to your guns and do exactly what you said. Stop rescueing him when he leaves her. It's his life, let HIM sort through it. He's 30 and only recently on his own and is accustomed to being rescued, until ppl stop rescueing him he's not going to stop being self destructive. So my only advice is to stick w/ it and w/hold help until he can prove he's a big boy and can take care of himself. I've been there, I had to learn the hard way and the ONLY way I learned was to get mad at my family for not helping anymore and stop all communication and grow up... now we have a relatively decent relationship and I don't ask them for help any more.

laughsalot
11-30-2003, 05:42 PM
Hugs to you and your family!

Unicornmom77
11-30-2003, 08:46 PM
Prayers for you and yours! I am sorry I dont have any advice!!

morris2b
11-30-2003, 10:40 PM
Man this chick sounds like my DH's ex, I say let him live and learn.. Took me one trip to the DA's office before this chick realized we were married and that he wanted her out of his life forever, she still does little things but we do not pay any mind to her. All it takes is one more trip to the DA's office again from me about her and I was told she would be put away for awhile..HMM we have been together 2 years think she will get the picture....

Quit saving him sometimes we have to learn things the hard way I just hope he gets wise before more damage is done than necessary..

schsa
12-01-2003, 07:44 AM
Time for tough love. You cannot continue to treat him like he was 16. If he screws up, then he takes whatever is dished out. You would do well to tell him that you don't want to talk about his relationship with her and that he is not welcome in your home until he is completely through with her.

He needs a big kick in the head but some people have to learn the hard way when they are "in love". He sounds like he needs to be in the gutter before he learns that this isn't going to work out.

Dizzyontheweb
12-01-2003, 07:54 AM
Thanks for everything. Advice and hugs.I am going to listen to your all's advice. He keeps signing in to AIM then when signing out. He did not answer any emails. So he is a chicken as well. LOL

Tough Love it is. The odd thing is I have been preaching the same to my dh about his deadbeat db for years. It took an incident this summer at his dad's funeral to make it come about. Guess it is only right that I have to implement it too.