Alcoholism......

[JENNIFERCATLADY]

Can anyone give me advice on living with an alcoholic? Since Robert moved in with me I have totally quit drinking. He on the other hand drinks anywhere from 6 - 30 beers a day. He's been in rehab twice, has not had a driver's liscense for several years (due to 7 DUI's). He doesn't get violent with me but he does get totally obnoxious. I understand that he has a lot on his mind right now. Tuesday he goes to Divorce Court and 2 weeks ago we found out that his mom has advanced lung cancer. Not to mention work related stress. Any advice would be very welcome.

[fatesfaery]

Wish I knew what to tell you, but I don't think there is an easy answer.

My Dad is a recovering alcoholic......though he'd never admit it. He drank and drank until my Mom divorced him when I was 15. He still drank and drank for years.....then he just quit. I've never asked him why, because I'd probably say things better left unsaid.

All 3 of my brothers also have drinking problems.....and all the health, job and relationship problems that go hand and hand with alcoholism, but none have ever admitted a problem exists or shown signs of stopping.

I think first they have to recognize that it is a problem and that it does afect the people around them......and I think they have to want to stop......and even then I think maybe some people can't stop.

Obnoxious drunks are such a joy....if one of my brothers calls late at night, I usually won't answer the phone. I won't keep my mouth shut to placate them, so it's better if we just don't talk unless they're sober.

[wyozozo]

Tuesday he goes to Divorce Court and 2 weeks ago we found out that his mom has advanced lung cancer. Not to mention work related stress. Any advice would be very welcome.

These aren't reasons to drink...they are excuses. And an alcoholic will ALWAYS have an excuse to drink. And until HE wants to quit, no one else can influence him.

There are no easy answers to your question...I would suggest going to Al-Anon or any support group for people dealing w/an alcoholic. Also, who is buying his beer? If it's you, STOP. Don't enable him to drink.

Hope things work out for....

[schsa]

He isn't going to quit until he's ready but by that time he will probably have no liver and enough fluid around his heart that he won't be able to breathe. I had a friend who's father was an alcholic. If you asked him he wasn't but the man did more drinking than he did eating. A functional alcoholic but still an alcholic. He died very slowy with liver failure, edema that caused his testicles to blow up like watermelons and finally he was eaten up by the cancer that the doctor's were unable to find because he was too busy drinking to go and let them test for cancer.

Fine if you want to live like this but you are not really living and he will only take you down with him. How long will it be before you start drinking with him for whatever reason? I had loads of work stress and I didn't drink. I had tons of bad news and I didn't drink. There are other things that you can do besides drink and as was stated before, if you want to find an excuse to drink, you can.

[DBackFan]

AlaNon

[cinnamonch]

You dont. Thats the bottom line

Doesnt matter how much you say you love them and all that, being in that kind of environment isnt healthy especially since you dont drink anymore yourself.

No matter what the situation is, he will continue to find reasons to drink. You have to decide if this is the kind of life you want for yourself and go from there.

[cch]

Originally posted by DBackFan
AlaNon

ITA!

You can check your local newspaper to find the nearest meeting. I suggest going to them or if you're not ready to go face to face with other people http://www.al-anon.org/ or both. My hubby is/was an alcoholic - Sunday he'll celebrate 1 year sober! AA, Alateen, & Al-Anon are wonderful things!

[Willow]

Kick him out!!!!

[DAVESBABYDOLL]

I lived with an alcholic for 17 years.He worked every day we were married... so I thought it was ok,he supported the family...so I thought it was ok.Like Robert my husband drank from the time he was off work until he went to bed.On Weekends it would hit 10:30AM and he would say it's "beer-thirty" and it would begin,he was never violent to me just mouthy.Finally I looked at my life and knew it wasn't a life at all....I left.It's been 4 years and life is GOOD!! I am healthy,my kids are thriving. You need to be sure you are were you want to be.

And wyozozo is right they are EXCUSES,not reasons.

Good luck (((HUGS)))