Not a good way to start the week

[amysusi]

Ok, so last night (Sunday), DH gets involved in an incident with 2 other men at church, and all are offended. It was taken to the Bishop, and my husband had to meet him and got raked over the coals. It falls hard on DH because of his leadership position. So I was upset, and prayed that I could forgive them and put this behind me, But when I got up this morning, it hurt. I got the kids up a little late because I didn't want them to see me crying. I called DH, but he was busy, so I got on with my day. He calls a few hours later, and we start talking about it, and I could tell he was hurt. I suggested he talk to certain people about this incident - not to rat anyone out, just to get guidance and direction.

I'm just really hurt by the way this was handled by these other 2 men. One has just had a foul attitude for the last few months, and done his share of offending others. Heaven forbid someone SUGGEST something to him - especially when it comes to his daughter. When she cries (she's just a baby), he locks her in her car seat and turns his back. His attitude is that if she's going to cry, she doesn't deserve his attention. Alot of people at church are very irritated by this. He has just irritated me so much, I could go on. This other man has a dish-it-but-can't-take-it attitude. He will be the first to point out when you do something wrong, and is quick to tell you when you offend him (which is over every little thing). I could go on about him too, but I will say he has offended and hurt me many times in the 3 1/2 years that we've known him. There are many before me that feel this way, and there will be many after me, so I never say anything. I can't, HE'S NEVER WRONG!

So the incident opened up a can of worms. I guess there's been a few more people DH has offended that he just found out about. Suggestions he's made have been twisted into "conspiracies", and because he was rebuked by the bishop, I'm afraid there will be others that will try to use it as fuel.

I am very hurt. My testimony of the church is too strong to just stop going, but I'm afraid to be somewhere that I don't feel welcome anymore. I will not hide because of this, I'm not going to be that kind of person. I called my mom to vent, but I'm still hurting. I'm afraid to talk to anyone from church. I know my husband, and know that he NEVER TELLS anyone what to do. He always makes a suggestion, but leaves it up to them. Because he's my husband, I believe him without a doubt, but looking at it from another view, if that many people have a problem with him, he must be doing something wrong. Everyone that has heard about this from our side (just my mom, and a friend that was here at the time it "blew up") says it sounds like these people were offended and reacted the way they did out of guilt because they knew he was right.

It's been less than 24 hours since this all happened, and I know I'm just letting my imagination go wild in thinking that everyone hates us. I will talk to the bishop and tell how hurt I am. What hurts the most is all the talking behind backs. With how stressed I've been with my own health, my sick kids and all the responsibilities, this was just a little too much right now. I've been cryng all morning. Am I wrong or over reacting?:confused:


On a brighter note: only 16 more days until we leave for my bro's wedding (and a much needed vacation)! :cool:

[justbeachy]

{{{amysusi and hubby}}}

[momfromTN]

Next time he points his finger remind him there are 3 more pointed at him.
Ask him what it is like to walk on water.

[dlwt]

Hope this all works out for you. Not to de-mean anything but that is why so many people quit going to church because of "so-called Politics"

[Dolly<3]

I'm so sorry you have to feel like that at your own church. It doesn't sound like people there are behaving like one would expect, being a church and all. I hope it's all over soon. Don't cry, it'll be okay. :) ((((amysusi))))

[Sunnymoonx]

Not to de-mean anything but that is why so many people quit going to church because of "so-called Politics"

Thats what happened to me. I left the church years ago because of soem real stupid stuff. There is a new Bishop and new members since then, but still... Some people need to think before they stir up things. It can really hurt a lot of people and feelings. Good luck with this situation amysusi. I hope it works out OK for your family!

[Unicornmom77]

I will pray for all involed! I am sorry things are difficult for you! Hope the get worked out soon!

[amysusi]

:)It's all OK now. I guess we just needed to hurt for a while and soften our hearts. i spent most of the day on the computer, and it distracted me. DH was feeling bad about it most of the day until he got distracted. And then for the both of us, we tried to get mad about it again, but couldn't. My eyes are still puffy, but I haven't cried since about noon. We are just going to have to change our relationships with certain people. These men really aren't as bad as I said (although they really act like I said), but i still don't want to talk to the one with the foul attitude. I've felt that way for awhile. We're going to be honest with our feeings now, and let certain people know when we are offended.

Thank you for all the hugs and prayers - it worked!

And I know I let my imagination get the better of me thinking so many people were mad at me. I started thinking of all the people that love me, and then it reminded me of a similar situation we'd gone through in another state. We had a neighbor that tried spreading vicious rumors about us at church. But everyone knew she was bitter and vindictive and not one person believed her. They would tell us what she said, and we would laugh. Everyone knew us and still loved us.

It's just one of those things you have to go through in life. :)

[AngelGrim]

I have noticed a lot of times satan will try to put a rift between people in churches because, as my grandmother used to say before she passed away, where is the devil going to stick his foot in first the bar where he already has his foot or the church because strife tears people apart. Good luck and keep your eyes on God He will lead the way.