can someone help me? please...

[DAVESBABYDOLL]

ok, here's the scoop~ my mother left my dad last year,after 35+ years, for a younger dude ,my mom is 66 he is 55. Well, she will not let go of my dad,she won't give him a divorce ,they are legally seperated.my mother never had to work,he gave her eveything she got the house,and his truck and his tricare for life (military insurance) plus SS from him. The guy she is living with has been married 4 times,and wants my mother to put his name on the house (the one my dad paid for) and her checking,and a power of attorney...my sister and I have told her how we feel (me,more so I am VERY verbal)anyways,she says no to a divorce because she will lose the tricare if she does it,although she hasn't admitted it,if my dad does it he has to pay out of pocket for her medical, she has had cancer twice,thyroid ,Graves disease and other problems...so basically he's F'd. he called the other day to let me know he finally rented a place and was going to tell my mother,but I haven't spoken t him since,I don't have long distance so here is what I really, need a calling card,minutes anything, so I can check on him. I did Faircall but for some reason they never sent the minutes to my email..thanks and anything will help.

thanks for letting me vent also.

[tiffany21]

I am sorry hugs to you and your dad sweetie. and she should not put his name on the house he might try to take it.

[Sammismom]

I have a 5.00 verizon prepaid phone card that you are welcome to have. Email me and I will give you the numbers vkcurrier@aol.com

[twinfawn]

How long has your mom had the house?

[intimidator329]

I would give you my walmart phone card but as usual, I can't find it.
I paid $4.95 for 60 minutes.

I hope everything works out with you dad. {{{hugs}}}

[catssass]

I PM'd you with a pin #...

[DAVESBABYDOLL]

twinfawn~they own the house but when they did their legal seperation she got it (6 months ago) get this he has to pay her rent, what the judge said...the other guy owes 50k on his house,filed bankrupcy,my parents house is paid for (worth a small fortune) they have annuities etc..he also wants to be put on her check book.

update~I called my dad (thank you friends) and he said he will not play into the guys hand that he will not move out,he said why should he move to give the guy a chance to move in,I agree. He said my mom is also "wishy-washy" she told him today not to give up on her..WTF..she left Aug last year.

[schsa]

After 35 years something must have been really bad for your mom to want a divorce. If you dad speaks to a lawyer he can force the divorce through. If he does that your mom might come to her senses. Obviously the man she is with is more interested in her money than her. It would be to your advantage as well as your sister to go and visit your mom for an extended period of time. You need to check this guy out completely. And having family around for a long period of time will make it harder and harder for him to play his game. Plus you might be able to force him out of you play the two of them off each other. If the daughter says the new boyfriend made a pass at her who is the mother going to believe? There are ways to do it.

See if anyone here can help you find out about him. Your mom is eating up the attention but he could leave her broke and alone without any problem if she decides that she's "in love" and gives him any access to her financial records and accounts.

[laughsalot]

I am so sorry that your family is going through this!

[twinfawn]

You don't have to worry, That man can't touch the house even with his name on it..Seriously....It doesn't matter....My sister went through somethng similar...It just won't happen......Your prents kinda sound like my parents, My mom and dad are divorced and he signed the house over to her so we could get it whenever they are gone.....The house is paid for, My mom is with a guy 11 years younger, but they have been together 11 years now, and he knows better then to even think abourt getting part of that house...The house is paid for right?, Or is he helping make payments?, that is that only thing, if he has equity in the house he will get half of that, if not, so be it.....

[tsquared]

Did you use the pin number i emailed you????

[DAVESBABYDOLL]

Originally posted by schsa
After 35 years something must have been really bad for your mom to want a divorce. If you dad speaks to a lawyer he can force the divorce through. If he does that your mom might come to her senses.

Thre was/is a reason ~SEX my dad is 68 with diabetes, he can't "do it" he has been to the doctor but he told my dad that it is one of the side affects :( and no, she doesn't want a divorce she tells my dad she will always be Mrs. xxxxxxx My dad has spoken to his lawyer,he can do the divorce himself BUT like I said before he will have to pay for her medical out of his own pocket and with her medical history..it would be a fortune(if they divorce she will lose the military coverage and that pays 100%)so see, not an easy situation for my dad.

yes,my dad and I are both on to this character~I called him andleft him a messge (he didn't answer) I was so mad that I let it all fly out,I know he heard it because my mom was there and she told my dad.


Sammiesmom & Tom I used both codes,thanks, I am going to use the other two tomorrow that two other members helpd me with (thanks to both of you)

[momof4inMi]

Pm'ed you hope things get better

[momfromTN]

Originally posted by DAVESBABYDOLL
Thre was/is a reason ~SEX my dad is 68 with diabetes, he can't "do it" he has been to the doctor but he told my dad that it is one of the side affects :( and no, she doesn't want a divorce she tells my dad she will always be Mrs. xxxxxxx My dad has spoken to his lawyer,he can do the divorce himself BUT like I said before he will have to pay for her medical out of his own pocket and with her medical history..it would be a fortune(if they divorce she will lose the military coverage and that pays 100%)so see, not an easy situation for my dad.

I understand how you feel because my mom messed around on my dad. I don't understand why your mother can go out on your dad, and then your dad should have to pay her medical bills should they divorce. WHY is it HIS responsibility to pay for a wife who cheats on him? She wants to act like that, then let her pay for her own health needs and bills!!!

[momfromTN]

Your dad left her in the house? If that were me, I would have made DH move out.

[DAVESBABYDOLL]

California is a "NO FAULT" state meaning she can do what she has done and she will not be held at fault.

She moved in with the other guy and my dad stayed in the house,and paid her rent.

[Kelsey1224]

Not only is California a "no fault" state...it is a community property state. So the house is legally half hers. In addition, he didn't "give" her his social security. He has no say in the matter. If they were married at least 10 years, then she is legally entitled to a benefit. It is hers and no one can take it away from her. It also doesn't affect his benefit one way or the other. In fact, he could have four ex-wives and if they had each been married to him for at least 10 years, then each would get a benefit.

In addition, any other "property", whether real, annuities, bonds, etc., must be split equally.

Your mother knows what she is doing. Your father must decide how much he is willing to let her have over and above her share.

I know this must be tough on the entire family. It sounds like your mother wants to have her cake and eat it too! However, she is ENTITLED to half the cake...regardless of her behavior.

[squirt]

I know I'm going to hear back on this, but here it is. No matter how you interfere it is your parents problems and they have to sort it out. Maybe you can take time off and talk to your father,have him sign over power of attorney to you. Then you can tell your mother and her whatever he is where to go. Other than that, there really is nothing you can do. Yea he's taking your mother for all he can get, and he'll probably get the house, and everything else your parents own. Just hang on tight for the fearful ride you're going to have. Take time off and go see your father not talk to him on the phone. Over the phone he'll agree to everything you say, then he'll turn around and do what his wife wants him to do. sorry about your heartache. Wish we could do more.

[Njean31]

that is a sad situation. i would try and convince my mom to NEVER let this other man lay claim on something my dad has worked for all his life. just because he can't perform anymore, he is losing everything! totally sad.

[Dolly<3]

I feel so sorry for your dad. :( A man that's worked all his life to provide for his family and give his wife a life of not having to work doesn't deserve this. :( It breaks my heart. I'm sorry you and your family are going through this.

I feel sorry for your mom too, who probably longs for that youthful, butterflies-in-tummy love w/this man who is just using her.

[DAVESBABYDOLL]

Originally posted by Kelsey1224
In addition, he didn't "give" her his social security.

uummm~yes we KNOW this, what my MOTHER'S lawyer told her is that she would have had no SS since she NEVER worked,therefore she draws off my dad's.So basically he did "give" it to her lol She tried to go after his military retirement BUT the were only married for 9 years while he was in (before he retired after 24 years)so she could'nt get that..but she tried.

I have power of Attorney for my mother's medical

I do not try to get in the middle, I don't speak to my mother,and I am all my dad has,so if you call speaking to him about this interfering ,so be it.

[mlayton1994]

I see you as being a concerned daughter.