I don't understand how this could happen

[joey74]

I come here everyday and read what everyone is mad about or sad about. It usually makes me feel better, it reminds me that we all have our problems and everyone goes through it.
I woke up this moring to the phone ringing. A friend called to tell me that another friend had died in a car accident late the night before. I had just recently gotten to know her, even though I had knew her practically my whole life (I was best friends with her sister growing up).
I guess I am nieve(sp), unlike most people the only death I have known has been elderly people. And although it is just as sad ~ this has made me question my own mortality. I just keep hearing this voice in my head say "I don't understand". I don't understand why god would take her now, I don't understand how something like this could happen. And then I start to feel sick at my stomach with worry that I could be next. I sit around everyday full of self pity. I whine about the stupidest things, I am fat, my husband doesn't give me enough attention, we are broke and I want to shop.
It took a young wonderful mother of two to die for me to really understand what all I have. Why did I waste so much time refusing to live because I gained weight. I don't want to be that person anymore. I don't want to constantly be unhappy. I have a beautiful daughter, a husband I love, and a great family that drives me crazy.
I know this doesn't make much sense to others reading it ~sorry. I just had so many mixed feelings and writing is my way of getting them out. This whole thing had made me feel like such a bad person, so petty! I have spent the last coulple of weeks feeling so sorry for myself, feeling lost and confused. It freaks me out to know that it can all be taken away so quickly.
Thanks for letting me vent incoherently!!

[Lisa03]

I am sorry to hear about your friend that died

I know we all won't live forever & I try to have a positive additude

I have gained weight about 10 lbs. I am not that happy with it but I'm like, you only live once, I am not going to starve myself just to be thin. Be happy with yourself

When I hear about someone that has been killed, it bothers me also so you are not alone.

It's so sad that people so young etc have to die the way that they do

I hope your day gets better

(((HUGS)))

[schsa]

We are never going to have an answer to why some die young and others live to be very, very old. It's one of those mysteries of life. But when someone young dies it does remind us of our own mortality and that it could have just as easily been one of us.

Don't try to come to an answer. Just be reminded that every day is a gift.

[Angelseyes28]

Originally posted by schsa
We are never going to have an answer to why some die young and others live to be very, very old. It's one of those mysteries of life. But when someone young dies it does remind us of our own mortality and that it could have just as easily been one of us.

Don't try to come to an answer. Just be reminded that every day is a gift.

Very well said! I completely agree.

{{{joey74}}}

[joey74]

Thanks for the replies.
I was so nervous getting in my car today. I just kept thinking "this is what she did, she kissed her babies goodbye and said mommy will be right back". She walked out that door and had no idea~ nobody even imagined they would never see her again. It so sad that two beautiful babies will grow up without their mommy because a car full of teenagers decided to drive drunk.
From now on I will live my life and love my family with all I have; armed with the knowledge that everyday, every minute with them is a gift, my time here and theirs is not guaranteed and I refuse to waste a minute of it.