long but needed, my 10yr old austic son

[dixie1596]

i just have to get this out, so please bear with me, i have a 10yr old son name "jc" he is high functioning austic, rage disorder, adhd,ocd,odd,ppd, and so much more, the drs feel like john is the way he is due to serve phy. abuse while i was preg. with him anyway jc is on 3 meds, a anti pshyco, a sed. and a behavior drug. this yr we are in 4th grade, it has been 5 weeks and every week we have gotten "refferal" letters about jc hitting, running in the room beening disrupted and agressive, i and hubby(my 2nd marraige and he adopted jc knowing all his problems) the teacher seems to be saying that is jc beening volientand disrupted, we have taken jc to every dr, phy dr. behavior dr. therpists,nero dr. we can. we are not abusive parents, we ground,take priviages and toys away, talk to him everyday about behaving, not hitting, listening ect....
well while we were talking to the teacher i ask "is jc going to have to go to a "alletrainive"(sp?) school?"
she said"well if it gets to that we will call DSS first" i asked "why, we are not abusive parents?" my hubby about freaked asking the same thing
the teacher said"well if he is volient here, something must be happening at home, and i call dds on parents all the time" this was said by a special ed teacher!!! we have tons of reports about jc and his rage disorder, she makes me and my hubby out to be abusive parents, OMG i called the vice princapal about this and she said she would look into it, i am so scared that DDS is going to come in and take my kids, i am on lithum and edivail for my bi polar and hubby is blind, so i am walking on egg shells,but i know we are good parents,we were approved for adoption and foster care in ca( we moved back to nc before they found us our baby), i just don't know what to do for jc,
thanks for the vent and any hints from anyone would help, thanks have a blessed day

[zitra]

((((HUGS))))

[schsa]

Could you come and observe him in class and verify what is going on? If the teacher is aware of his problems then maybe she isn't the teacher for him. He might do better in a different class. They might have a personality conflict.

I am not in a position to begin to understand what you are dealing with but if this is a new problem (not something that he goes through the begining of each school year) it might be the teacher and not the child. And quite honestly if a teacher threatened me with DSS knowing that I have a special needs child, I would be moving my child. She's already deciding that you are the problem and not that the child has problems and is need of special care. That means that she isn't doing her job to fully understand the needs of your child.

[Unicornmom77]

Prayers for you and yours!

[momfromTN]

Yep, ANOTHER anal-retentive hun trying to run the world!!! How dare her say such a thing to you. BLAMING you for your son's problems, especially when it is documented what his problems are. Be sure you have all of his paperwork from his doctors stating his diagnosis, and keep copies handy, just in case. I realize that there ARE abused kids, but they are so quick to judge and harrass good parents these days. It is rude, and so wrong. I would consult an attorney, personally. I would take the threats seriously. The stinking system thinks THEY know more about our kids than we do and think they can do a better job at raising them than the parents. It is totally irresponsible for that teacher to say something like that to you and also, if she IS calling DSS all of the time, she ought to have her teaching license or certificate revoked and be retrained.

[GeThang]

Oh hun, Hugs to you and your family.

[cinnamonch]

Have you spken with your child about whats going on? Not blamining him or anything but trying to see what may be triggering these episodes? Like its been pointed out, it could be the teacher and not him or maybe some of the kids are bothering him and the teacher is only noticing when he has to act out.

[ImaGApeach]

I do not understand where they get off always blaming it on the parents and the child's homelife.I have a daughter that is adhd/bipolar and I am bipolar. They stay on my daughters case every since kindergarten and they all want to know about our homelife. I have 2 other daughters and they have never had any problems but they have took my oldest to the principal and counselors office and questioned her on several occasions about our homelife and stuff0it always scares her like she is in trouble. Who the he11 do these people think they are?
Hugs 2 u and your son-

[hotwheelstx]

Originally posted by schsa
Could you come and observe him in class and verify what is going on? If the teacher is aware of his problems then maybe she isn't the teacher for him. He might do better in a different class. They might have a personality conflict.

I am not in a position to begin to understand what you are dealing with but if this is a new problem (not something that he goes through the begining of each school year) it might be the teacher and not the child. And quite honestly if a teacher threatened me with DSS knowing that I have a special needs child, I would be moving my child. She's already deciding that you are the problem and not that the child has problems and is need of special care. That means that she isn't doing her job to fully understand the needs of your child.

schsa is correct (JMO) on all points. I taught Special Education for 5 years. In my experience it NEVER was the parents....it was me (as the teacher) to try and figure out what the learning problem was. I never accused, assumed anyone was being abused at home unless I found marks or was told by a child.

I would highly suggest you "drop in" on classes and watch your son w/his teacher. It very well could be a personality conflict. Sorry ya'll not all people get along even w/children.

I would check into putting him another school or another classroom.

Might want to check w/his dr. too. I once had a student who all of a sudden (after Christmas holidays) that began inflicting pain on herself. I didn't let it go on very long...I talked w/parents and found out her meds. had been changed and that's what made her moods change.

I wouldn't sit back, take this lightly either. I would do something asap. I would talk to higher authorities about the teacher as well.

Yes, as teachers we have an obligation to protect, teach but when it comes to accusing we need to have all our ducks in a nice row.

We can/do lose jobs over these types of things...if they are unfounded. Yes, it's in the best interest of the child but, if it's not true it just raises havoc. That includes everyone involved.

(((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))) to you and your family. I know it's hard. You'll make it thru. Hang in there.

[rain_cries]

This is from my Aunt who is an advocate with the ARC. If you would like her e-mail address, please e-mail me at [email protected].

Hey Kelly

Just copied and read this mom's heart wrenching tale. I would advise her to contact her local ASA (Autism Society of America) Chapter and or the local Arc Chapter.

I sounds as though everything is being blamed on abuse and the Autism. Mom is bi-polar and it is very possible that the son is also. This could be the reason for the rages and aggressive behavior. Also children with Autism do not always respond in typical ways to med trials. Their brain's are different than the average persons so the response to meds could also be different. They also need to rule out seizure disorders. Many times seizures will cause aggressive behavior. They should also be looking to rule out Fragile X Syndrome. This presents with or like Autism and males are usually aggressive and it gets worse with age.

Mom needs to find a school that specializes in teaching children with Autism too. The behavior plan that she is using, grounding, taking away privileges and favorite toys could be making the problem worse too. What if what they are taking away is the child's passion. If it is then the behavior will only escalate!

I have come across two great books on Visual Strategies. One is for communication and the other is for behavior. If she goes to Usevisualstratagies.com she can get information on these two books as well as other information on teaching tools for children with Autism.

When she gets all her ducks in a row she should look into reporting this teacher to the department of education. If what she reports this teacher as doing is accurate the state should look into it. The teacher sounds like she is in the dark ages and instead of helping the family figure out what is going on and trying to support them in their quest to find out why she is keeping the family from digging deeper.

You can give her my email address here at work if she would like to talk to me further.

Keep me posted and if you need more help you can contact me.

Aunt Deb

[Dawny]

I have a special needs child and the previous teacher he had was always wanting my son medicated I went to the CSE(commettie of special education and had my son placed in a special school and hes been great this teacher tried to make it sound like my son was a monster and needed drugs not the case.There is help and the dss can also help with finding the right advocates for you and so can the board of Ed. SO FIGHT FOR YOUR SON AND DON"T GIVE UP IT"S GONNA GET TUFF BEFORE IT GETS BETTER. (((((((((((( all the best )))))))))))

[Dawny]

But it will get better


GOOD LUCK

[Sunnymoonx]

I don't know anything about the school system where you are, buthere, my daugheter has a boy in her class who has PPD among other things, and he gets pretty disruptive and sometimes violent. The school system has provided him with an aide to be in the classroom with him throughout the school day> she will take him out of the classroom anytime he causes a major disruption or has a meltdown. I have seen her working with him many times and she does a wonderful job. Most of the time he just needs to go out in the hall for a few minutes to settle down and he is able to go right back to the classroom. Occasionally he is brought down to the office where there is a "quiet room". just a room with a desk and chair and he can go in there and settle down with one of the counselors until he is ready to go back to class.

Is an aide for him a posibility? It might be worth checking into.

Best of luck to your family!