SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME WHY I HAD KIDS! (long)

[jonette5]

My gosh darn son is such a pain in my butt! I love him to death but he is driving me crazy! He is 14 (15 in Sept) and acts like a big turd!
I know he has been through a lot this summer with his kidney stones and all the doctors visits, but guess who's been there with him! Yeah MOM! I have not had to deal with the pain of the stones but I have had to deal with all the rest as well as the heart break of watching your kid suffer! He acts like we should all kiss his butt cuz he has been through so much! I wanna KICK his butt right now!
I had to take him this morning to get blood drawn to check platlet levels cuz of new meds for his stones, well I understand him pouting about that but does he have to take it out on me? He was so grouchy! He said it was because he was tired, well not my fault he stayed at the local fair for ten hours in the heat and then stayed up late watching TV. I told him to come home and take a break and get to bed early, but geuss I am stupid and don't know nothing! LOL!
After the docs, I took him to get new shoes for school and he was "ok" in that store, but then I took him to Penneys for some shirts (buy one get one) but would he look at those? NO! He didn't like those cuz they were in his words "prep shirts" WTH! They were just T-shirts! Everything he picked out was soooooo trashy and crappy looking that I just ended up telling him I was sick of him and we were leaving!(he was acting like a spoiled brat) Yes I feel bad for saying that! I swear I'd rather take a car load of teenage girls shopping than have to take him! He is worse than any girl I have ever seen! LOL!
He is upstairs pouting now cuz I told him he could not go to the fair till later this evening and he had to be home by 11 pm tonight! You have to understand in this small town the yearly fair is the biggest thing to happen. People come from all around to go to it, so making him stay away for this afternoon is "KILLING" him! LOL! Maybe next time he won't be such an a$$ to me when I take him shopping!

Ok sorry that was sooooo long but I had to get that out of my system, so I can deal with him in a calm manner the rest of the day!:D

[cch]

When I was 14/15 I had a cerfew and a "lights out" time too. I was raised by my Great-Grandparents and if I'd have acted like that in a store they'd have told me to wear my old clothes to school, if I couldn't act like I had some respect then I could do without new clothes!

[tiffany21]

I know how you feel my son is 12 going on 18 :eek: he has a thing right now my friends mom let him do it so I told him go live with her:D :D

[jonette5]

Originally posted by cch
if I'd have acted like that in a store they'd have told me to wear my old clothes to school, if I couldn't act like I had some respect then I could do without new clothes!


That is exactly how I feel! We left Penneys empty handed! and I am not going to take him back till he acts "human" LOL!

[Quaker_Parrots]

Originally posted by jonette5
That is exactly how I feel! We left Penneys empty handed! and I am not going to take him back till he acts "human" LOL!

LOL, that could be quite a few years at the age he is now, lol

[MommyG3]

Stick to your guns and don't cave in. He will learn not to "mess with mom"

Tiff...LOL, I have a 12 year old that will be the big 13 in November. I dread it. She is in the 7th grade now, so she is starting to be more into fashions. I may be on here very soon saying, "And I thought the first 13 years were bad." LOL

[schsa]

Ok, so I don't have kids but I have spent a great deal of time watching my friends deal with their kids. Jackie's rule was that there was $xx for school clothes. It was a 75%/25% until the child could earn their own money and then mom would meet them 50/50. So Jackie got the final decision on 75% of what was bought and then the other 25% she would just live with.

At some point you are going to have to let your kid find his own way. I think that the split is the best way to go. The kid can pick out what he wants but that doesn't mean that he's going to get it.

[mugwump]

I know how you feel ... my oldest son was a real pain in the butt. I had a budget for clothing and he had to stick to it ... we also had somewhat of a dress code (in style, but not gross). If he wanted anything outlandish, or wanted to slash holes in a new pair of jeans, or he just had to have the "designer label", the money came out of his pocket. I should add that he was already difficult about his clothes by the time he was three ... wouldn't wear certain colours, etc.

Despite this, he never really did learn much about the value of a dollar until he moved out of the house. Then the change was instant:

* didn't have to have designer labels anymore
* found out that leftovers really ARE food
* was happy to come home for dinner because he couldn't afford meat
* actually started to take care of his belongings

This amazing transformation took place in less than a month, and I really enjoyed watching it.

I thought I'd be glad when my boys moved out, but I really miss them, so despite his "attitude" just be happy you still have him around. They grow up so fast!

[tmesser]

my daughter who is 15 has to be in the house by 9pm and she will have a 11pm curfew for dances this year, she also has to be in bed by 10:30 on schoold nights. her clothes she has been paying for herself for the past three years. we had to help her this year because she couldn't get a job so we used the $400 child credit check. she got $200 of that and my husband gave her another $100. she was able to get 5 pairs of pants, 8 shirts, underware, bras,socks ,makeup, Vans skatershoes,and all her school supplies for high school. and she still has some money left. kids need to learn early on that they need to help contribute in the things that they want or they will not get them. i had to work for everything i wanted since i was 12. to many parents hand everything to there kids and they wonder why we have so many spoiled brats out there that don't want to do anything for themselves.

[julie_angel]

UGH! Teenagers are aliens!!!

Just a question, is he on pain meds for the stones? It's not an excuse, but I am on pain meds off and on for the kidney stones, and I swear sometimes I am a stranger to myself.

Sorry he's being such a terd to you. My son is already being a little jerk sometimes and he's not quite 12 yet. I'm not looking forward to the teen years AT ALL!!!

[jonette5]

I do make my kids pay for alot of their own stuff. My son worked last year at a resturant about 4 blocks from our house and he bought a lot of his own things (PS2, hunting stuff, movie tickets, etc). He quit that job this spring because they would not work around his track schedule. He was going to back and work this summer but the kidney stones have prevented that. My daughter is 17 (18 in Oct.) she works and pays for most of her own stuff also. Since the child tax check was an added bonus this year, I told them each could have 200 for school clothes. I gave my dot hers cuz I know she will spend reasonably, I told son we would go shopping and get what he needs. Usually I do let them get what they want (their own tastes) but the stuff he was picking out today....no way in heck am I gonna let my kid dress in that crap! My money or theirs!
Both of my kids are actually pretty frugal and shop wisely. What he was asking for was not really costly just CRAP! I am more liberal than my mom ever was about letting them be theirselves and have own style, but there is a limit! The outfit he wanted would have made him look like he needed to be in the gutter with a bottle of wine and no teeth! It was just gross! I think he was just in the mood to push my buttons today cuz he has never dressed that way before!

julie_angle....the meds he is on is called THIOLA...it is strictly for cystine stones. It is not pain meds it is to prevent more stones and hopefully dissolve the ones he has. He will have to take it for life due the cystinuria (kidney disease). He only needs pain meds when he is actually passing a stone. Knock on wood he has not passed one in a month. The last ones were a week apart and one was the size of cigerette filter and one was the size of my middle finger nail. He still has 3 in the kidney about the size of pinky fingernail. You know now that I think of this.....he usually gets crabby the day before a stone passes...oh lord I hope that is not is problem today!

[julie_angel]

God bless him, I hope he passes them all (as painful as it is) and just never has to deal with them again! I hope the meds work for him!

(((((Jonette))))) You have been through enough lately! I hope it all passes over for you so you can have some time to relax. I know first-hand what stress can do to the mind and body. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers, hon. You know I'm always here if you need to talk or anything.

[jonette5]

Thanks Julie!

I hope you are feeling better with your stone probs! Let me know how it is going!

[1busymomma]

(((((((((((((((jonette)))))))))))))

I'm so glad I have 8 years before I hit that stage with my son. He is happy go lucky right now.

I agree what teens call fashion I call "cr@p" LOL. No offense to teens on this board, I am all for fashion but some of it is just to much!

Everything will work out. :)