OMG !!!! BACKUP PEOPLE! I would hate to burn any of you with the steam rolling off me

[Kyla Kym]

PLEASE CLICK BACK RIGHT NOW IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT A MOM WHO JUST LOST HER FREAKING MIND! MAKE THAT 2 MOMMAS!

I'M SO MAD RIGHT NOW I COULD KICK DOWN THE HOUSE. I HAVE NO ONE TO TELL THIS TO WITHOUT TOWN GOSSIPS HAVING A FIELD DAY. SO THANK YOU TO THE ONES WHO READ THIS.

HERE GOES.......

HOW THE HECK ARE YOU SUPPOSE TO KEEP YOUR STUPID IDIOT KIDS FROM SMOKING OR DIPPING WHEN THE NEIGHBORS ARE BUYING IT FOR THEM????!!!!

I HAVE TALKED TO HIM UNTIL I'M BLUE IN THE FACE ABOUT HOW STUPID IT IS TO START THAT. I KNOW ALL THE TALK IN THE WORLD DON'T DO ANY GOOD IF THEY ARE BOUND AND DETERMINED TO DO IT. BUT AT LEAST THE LAW PROHIBITS THE SALE TO MINORS UNTIL THEY STOP BEING STUPID IDIOTS AND GROW UP!

I PICKED UP ON THE PHONE EARLIER AND MY SON WAS ON IT UP AT THE SHOP. WE HAVE THE SAME PHONE NUMBER UP THERE. HE WAS TALKING TO ONE OF THE LOCAL MOM'S AND TELLING HER TO PICK HIM UP A ROLL OF GRIZZLY FROM THE TOBACCO STORE TODAY!!!!!! I ABOUT CHIT AND FELL BACK IN IT. I HAVE KNOWN THIS WOMAN SINCE SHE MOVED UP HERE AT AGE 14 TO MARRY ONE OF THESE HILLBILLY BOYS. BY THE TIME SHE WAS 18 SHE HAD 4 KIDS AND HAS ALWAYS DID A GOOD JOB OF BEING A MOTHER AND WIFE. SHE IS SWEET AS THE DAY IS LONG. ALSO SHE ISN'T STUPID OR ANYTHING BECAUSE SHE WAS IN THE GIFTED AND TALENTED BEFORE SHE QUIT SCHOOL TO MARRY. I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE IS BUYING MY SON WHO SHE HAS WATCHED GROW UP TOBACCO!

THANKS FOR LISTENING TO ME. I CAN'T TALK TO ANYONE ELSE ABOUT THIS. I WOULD MAKE A LOT OF TOWN PEOPLE MAD AT ME EVEN IF I WAS TO SAY SOMETHING TO HER ABOUT IT.

[iowakat]

I'm sorry but if that was my son, she'd already know how I felt. She's also breaking the law by giving it to him.

[nosamiam]

I would make her chew some of it!

[MommyG3]

I believe she can get into MAJOR trouble for this. Hope you get this straightened out soon.

[tiffany21]

I would tell her about it and is she does it again go to the police hugs

[Kyla Kym]

I don't guess I can do a thing about it. My hands are tied behind my back. This town has a population under 100 people and it's a very tight knit community. She is such a sincerely darling sweet person that I would have the whole town down on me if I said anything to her. And honestly I don't think I could. It would break her heart. She is the type that would give you the shirt off her back if you asked her for it. I know it would hurt her deeply if I said anything to her. It's just not worth breaking her heart over, when if it hadn't of been her then it would have been someone else. I'm just so mad right now and needed to vent. I can't even scream at my son yet because he has company. I did call back up there and tell him I heard what he said and I was going to turn her in. (knowing good and well I would never do that) he started begging me not to. Thanks everyone, I feel a little better now. I can't even call and talk to my mom about this....she will just throw it up in my face about WEll you started when you was 14 !!! blah, blah, blah......so if I called her I would just get even madder than I already am. Thanks everyone so much for listening to my big mouth.

[cch]

You could call the police and report her for purchasing tobacco for minors without leaving your name! I'd be furious! If she'll help kids buy tobacco, she'd probably help then get alcohol or maybe even drugs.

[Shancopp]

To heck with breaking her heart! She'd get a peice of my mind and let her know if it happened again, I'd report her for contributing to the deliquency of a minor!

[jonette5]

Originally posted by Shancopp
To heck with breaking her heart! She'd get a peice of my mind and let her know if it happened again, I'd report her for contributing to the deliquency of a minor!



MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY!

[Kelsey1224]

You have to make a choice between this woman and your son...I know what choice I would make.

I certainly hope it would break her heart to find out that she is doing something wrong to your child. Maybe she just needs someone to point it out for her!

[kelblend]

Kyla-he's YOUR son and she is purchasing something for him that he CAN'T! So what if people talk? I mean Good Lord he's YOUR kid. She knows she's doing wrong. Tell her to quit buying it for your son!!

[mugwump]

I would definitely talk to the woman. Not only is she purchasing tobacco for your son, she is doing it behind your back. She must know you would disapprove; otherwise YOU would be buying it for him. That is so two-faced ... maybe she's not as sweet as she pretends to be. JMHO

[zitra]

I feel for you..I have a dumba** step-dad, who used to purchase alcohol for my brother and his friend's and I quote "as long as you give me some"...he and my mom were arrested and in jail for ONLY 3 DAYS!! for letting underage kids drink in their home..my house was what was known as the party house, where everyone had keggers, almost every night of the week, when i was growing up. When my dad and mom were arrested, my sister and i went to what was called a half way house. You go there, until the courts decide to give you back, or put you into the foster care system..we were taken on a Friday, and given back the following Monday. My dad had also been arrested for DUI, for driving when my sister and I were in the car, when we were in grade school. ONLY becuase he had stopped to open the door, so he could throw up, and had to go back, cause he also threw up his false teeth LOL! That is when they arrested him. Went to jail 10 days for that one.

I know this woman is "sweet", and has been a friend, but I would wonder who else she is buying tabacco for (how many other kids), and would she buy them alcohol as well?? My step dad also bought cigarettes for my brother and their friends..I think this woman deserves to be arrested...my mom was arrested along with my dad, becuase though she did not participate in buying the stuff, she knew of the illegal activity, and did nothing ot stop it, and I think they were right in arresting her as well.

I say turn her in..

[Kyla Kym]

I think allot of her problem is she don't know how to say no to anyone. That's why she was married at 14, and now has 4 kids to raise. She works her butt off for her family working in the hog and chicken farms around here so her kids don't have to live on welfare. Her husband only works when he feels like it.....she runs around with no teeth, nothing nice to wear, just so she can do for her kids.

I just can't bring myself to turning her in, like her life don't suck enough as it is.........I'm going to call her this evening and tell her how upset I am, and if it was anyone else but her I would have turned them in. I'm going to tell her that the next parent might not be so nice. I'm going to ask her what would she have done if her kids had of told other kids and those kids told their parents that she was buying tobacco for my son and they had of turned her in.

Then I'm going to ask her how would she like it if she found out that I was buying her 13 year old daughter birth control pills behind her back.......the clan she married into is very strict on the girls. They don't date until they turn 18. So I have a feeling this will sink in her head better about how I'm feeling right now than her understanding why I would be so upset about the tobacco.

Parents up here are different about that stuff....they let their kids smoke and dip at a early age. And they also drive way to young.

I wasn't raised here, I'm a transplant....and what I see as wrong they don't see the harm in it.....like the boy that was up here visiting my son earlier is only 14 and has been driving his own pickup for years. Which makes it hard on me forcing my son to wait until he is 16.

I also have to worry about our store we have here....if I turned her in and made the whole town mad at me, what do you think would happen to my business? It's not worth losing my business over when if it's not her getting it, it will just be someone else.

I know this sounds crazy, but until you have lived in a town like this it's just hard to understand how things are done.

[Quaker_Parrots]

I personally think you oughta whoop the woman sweet or not, or at least turn her over to the police, if she is supplying him with tobacco, who is to say she won't supply him with worse things when he gets older. And if you really wanna scare the begeebies out of your son, show him these pics of what happens to people who use tobacco: (WARNING GRAPHIC)
http://www.quittobacco.com/facts/effects.htm
http://www.sinuscarecenter.com/tobchaao.html
http://www.dentalreference.com/html/body_chewing_toobacco.html

[schsa]

You might just want to take her aside and ask her not to buy any tobacco products for your child and then let her know that you understand that she was just trying to be kind to your son but that you feel very strongly that a child his age should not be using tobacco. Don't be mean as much as do the motherly concern for your child's health. She may not know that you object. Your son could have told her that you said it was alright and being a nice person she didn't want to call your son a liar.

[zitra]

Originally posted by Kyla Kym
I think allot of her problem is she don't know how to say no to anyone. That's why she was married at 14, and now has 4 kids to raise. She works her butt off for her family working in the hog and chicken farms around here so her kids don't have to live on welfare. Her husband only works when he feels like it.....she runs around with no teeth, nothing nice to wear, just so she can do for her kids.

I just can't bring myself to turning her in, like her life don't suck enough as it is.........I'm going to call her this evening and tell her how upset I am, and if it was anyone else but her I would have turned them in. I'm going to tell her that the next parent might not be so nice. I'm going to ask her what would she have done if her kids had of told other kids and those kids told their parents that she was buying tobacco for my son and they had of turned her in.

Then I'm going to ask her how would she like it if she found out that I was buying her 13 year old daughter birth control pills behind her back.......the clan she married into is very strict on the girls. They don't date until they turn 18. So I have a feeling this will sink in her head better about how I'm feeling right now than her understanding why I would be so upset about the tobacco.

Parents up here are different about that stuff....they let their kids smoke and dip at a early age. And they also drive way to young.

I wasn't raised here, I'm a transplant....and what I see as wrong they don't see the harm in it.....like the boy that was up here visiting my son earlier is only 14 and has been driving his own pickup for years. Which makes it hard on me forcing my son to wait until he is 16.

I also have to worry about our store we have here....if I turned her in and made the whole town mad at me, what do you think would happen to my business? It's not worth losing my business over when if it's not her getting it, it will just be someone else.

I know this sounds crazy, but until you have lived in a town like this it's just hard to understand how things are done.

I would also tell her though, that you are not turing her in THIS TIME but if you found out she did it again, that you would throw her but in JAIL

[LindaL.]

I agree with everyone. She needs to at least be told that you do not condone what she is doing. If you're worried about the town finding out just talk to her directly. Or you could accidently run into her and tell her how upset you are that your son keeps getting this stuff and how you wish you could figure out how he is doing... perhaps she'll feel guilty and tell you or just stop buying it for him. Its worth a shot!

[moe265]

Well I live in a small town and I can assure you if they are not already talking about the fact that she buys it for him I would be surprised!! LOL Good Luck!

[ckerr4]

Kyla, you are so sweet that it almost makes me cry. It's wonderful to know that still there are people who really are compassionate enough to think about others' feelings, like you've considered this woman's feeling. I have every confidence that you'll handle the situation right, especially now that you've calmed down and vented to us:D

I would just tell her that you 've already talked to your son and told him you disapprove, and that you think he may have misled her into believing it was okay for her to do what she did. That gives her a gracious out - she can still be your friend and not feel badly, but she'll understand what you meant. Hopefully, it won't happen again.

I hope it works out okay.

((Kyla))

[magicwoman19]

Well, I would be so ravening mad, he would be grounded for sure, and I would just call her and sipmly ask her not to buy them for him anymore. Let her know how you feel about it, but in a nice way. That way you won't make her mad or the town. But I would let her know how you feel about it.

[Taterbo]

Oh Boy if this were my child, I would be dragging him down the thru the center of town by his ear, as I was hunting her happy behind down, Believe you me, she would be getting an ear full, and I would not care who heard. Someone anyone endangering the life and welfare of my child..is hunting for a hurting.Anyone who thinks it is 'okay' to supply tabacco or alcohol to minors is a fool. You need to go and stand up for your child and for all the other kids she is supplying. Do you really think she cares if your child comes down with some form of cancer? Or if she is supply alcohol one gets killed in an accident? Come on, she might be sweet and nice, but she is not real smart. JMHO...

[Dolly<3]

Originally posted by schsa
You might just want to take her aside and ask her not to buy any tobacco products for your child and then let her know that you understand that she was just trying to be kind to your son but that you feel very strongly that a child his age should not be using tobacco. Don't be mean as much as do the motherly concern for your child's health. She may not know that you object. Your son could have told her that you said it was alright and being a nice person she didn't want to call your son a liar.

Ditto and...


Originally posted by ckerr4
Kyla, you are so sweet that it almost makes me cry. It's wonderful to know that still there are people who really are compassionate enough to think about others' feelings, like you've considered this woman's feeling.

ditto!

I think it's great that you care enough about her feelings not to make any rash decisions out of anger. I would ask her not to, and then if she still does, maybe she's not as sweet as you think. Right now, she has the benefit of the doubt. Let her know how you feel about it.

[zitra]

Originally posted by Taterbo
Oh Boy if this were my child, I would be dragging him down the thru the center of town by his ear, as I was hunting her happy behind down, Believe you me, she would be getting an ear full, and I would not care who heard. Someone anyone endangering the life and welfare of my child..is hunting for a hurting.Anyone who thinks it is 'okay' to supply tabacco or alcohol to minors is a fool. You need to go and stand up for your child and for all the other kids she is supplying. Do you really think she cares if your child comes down with some form of cancer? Or if she is supply alcohol one gets killed in an accident? Come on, she might be sweet and nice, but she is not real smart. JMHO...

I also agree. Just becuase she may be a sweet and loving person doesn't make what she did any less illegal, and also someone knowing that a illegal activity is goign on that doesn't report it, is equally as liable legally, my mom foudn that out, when she was put in jail for what my step-dad was doing..and yes he was doing it, so my brother's friends would like him, but I think he should have been arrested for it anyway..and i think anyone who doesn't report the illegal activity they know about should as well.

Friend or not (even it it were a blood relative), they would have been arrested by now..and i would not think twice about it.

[schsa]

Yes, but the difference that this is taking place in a small town and small towns have cliques that have to be carefully handled. In a bigger city it wouldn't be the same. In a bigger city I would have her tush in the pokey. But in a small town, especially if there is a certain feeling about this individual, it would be much more effective to talk to her privately. It causes much less talk among those who live to gossip and the matter can be resolved very quickly and with as little friction as possible.

[Ladytiger]

Kyla, just a thought that no one has mentioned. Could it be that your son might have told her that it was okay with you? She might be thinking that she needs to talk to *you*, but is afraid to do so for the same reason.
I'm not blaming your son, just a thought. I have been through this with makeup and thongs with my daughter and another mom. Bottom line is that you definately need to talk with her. Maybe go and get a cup of coffee, that way nobody is pointing a finger at anyone.
You also have a heart of gold, you will handle this ok.
Oh, one more thing, the more you scream at your son to stop-the more he will want to do it. As hard as it is, grin and bear it. He'll get bored with it-hopefully.
Hugs~

[Shancopp]

I was thinking the same, but if she thought it was ok w/ mom...wouldn't she wonder why mom didn't buy them for him herself? I think she knew!

[peaceluver]

Just ask her kindly to not buy the stuff for your son anymore.

[zitra]

Originally posted by Shancopp
I was thinking the same, but if she thought it was ok w/ mom...wouldn't she wonder why mom didn't buy them for him herself? I think she knew!

LOL! I agree.

[zitra]

Originally posted by schsa
Yes, but the difference that this is taking place in a small town and small towns have cliques that have to be carefully handled. In a bigger city it wouldn't be the same. In a bigger city I would have her tush in the pokey. But in a small town, especially if there is a certain feeling about this individual, it would be much more effective to talk to her privately. It causes much less talk among those who live to gossip and the matter can be resolved very quickly and with as little friction as possible.

I agree it is differnt in a small town. I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone else..we have one small grocery store, a gas station, and a couple of small shops, BUT no matter what the cliques are here, or who thought what about it, I will still have this person arrested. Just as another poster said. If she REALLY beleived the mom might have said it was o.k., again WHY would she think the mom did not buy it herself..why would her son need someone else buy it for him?
MAYBE you can give her the benefit of the doublt, but if it were me, I still would let it be know that i am totally against it, and let it be known that if it happens in the future, that ther woudl definately be police involvment.

[Willow]

(((((Kyla Kim)))))

[Kyla Kym]

Thanks everyone for your replies. I appreciate you all taking the time to read my mad momma vent today. You all gave allot of great advice.

Today everytime my son came in the house I would get mad all over again. So I've came to the conclusion I'm more angry with him than I am with her. There will always be someone to take her place and get it for him if she don't. But what gets to me the most is how much I have talked to him about this subject. I almost died due to tobacco, and my father had a heart attack because of tobacco. I have talked to him so much about how stupid a habit it is to start and how there is nothing to gain, but allot to lose if you ever pick up the habit. I think that is what angers me the most is he didn't listen to me.

What some of yall said about he might have lied. That could be possible. It also made me wonder if maybe she said yes to him on the phone rather than try and lecture him she just said yes then had no intentions of getting it for him.

I did try to call her several times today but no one answered. That might be due to the fact that I called the tobacco store in the next town and told them if she came in to tell her that I said she better not buy that roll of grizzly. So if they did in fact tell her that when she went in there, it might have freaked her out enough that they won't answer the phone when they see my name on the caller ID.

I really do appreciate all your replies. I wanted to answer them earlier today but couldn't get a chance to until now. And I'm so sleepy right now I'm sure I'm not making very good sence. LOL..
But thank you all so much ! {{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Oh and thanks for those links, I printed them out and I'm going to hang them on his wall and let him soak that in for a few days.

[Mystic32]

KylaKym,
You need to get off that horse & not worry what people will say. if that was my son, I`d be raising a big stink. Actually I probably would have popped that woman by now but that`s just me. In any event, I think the townspeople will have much more to talk about with her buying underage kids cigs, that you for confronting her about it. Your son should be your top priority...not this high school dropout of a woman!

[GeThang]

Hopefully, she wasn't really going to get it for him, but if she was, she should respect you more than that and respect the health of your son. That is definitely not acting gifted and talented if she is risking herself (legal) and your son's well being.

[zitra]

Originally posted by Mystic32
KylaKym,
You need to get off that horse & not worry what people will say. if that was my son, I`d be raising a big stink. Actually I probably would have popped that woman by now but that`s just me. In any event, I think the townspeople will have much more to talk about with her buying underage kids cigs, that you for confronting her about it. Your son should be your top priority...not this high school dropout of a woman!
What i read of her post (maybe i am wrong) a lot of the people in town LET their kids smoke/chew at 16, and don't have a problem with it..

[Kyla Kym]

Mystic32, the problem with that is, if I don't worry about what people say, (which I'm not, what worries me is being shunned), then I risk being treated as a outcast. My son also has to go to the same school and ride the same bus as her 4 children. He would catch hell in more ways than one if his mom turned in one of the most popular people in town. I'm looking at the big picture here. And my son is my #1 priority and I don't think being shunned and made fun of would do much for him mentally. Until you have walked in someone else's shoes, you shouldn't judge others so harshly. Another thing is we don't have law enforcement here to speak of. People can literally get by with murder. My nephew was killed New years eve night and no one has yet to spend a day in jail for it. He was killed by being beat to death by another guy. But so far no one has spent a day in jail for it. Things are just different here. But that is why I wasn't asking for advice, I knew no one would understand how different things are. I was just wanting to get it off my chest.

GeThang, I've been meaning to ask you. Did your name use to be Ginger Lockwood by chance? :)

[belcherpi]

Originally posted by schsa
You might just want to take her aside and ask her not to buy any tobacco products for your child and then let her know that you understand that she was just trying to be kind to your son but that you feel very strongly that a child his age should not be using tobacco. Don't be mean as much as do the motherly concern for your child's health. She may not know that you object. Your son could have told her that you said it was alright and being a nice person she didn't want to call your son a liar.


I have to agree with schsa. Perhaps talking to her privately you two can work this out without the whole town knowing about it. I can understand you being mad, I would be if it was my child. I also was raised in a small town and know how they work. Perhaps one day you can take her aside and explain to her that you would rather her not buy this stuff for your child. Best of luck to you!

[nanajoanie]

In North Carolina it's against the law to buy minors - anyone under 18, any kind of tobacco. I'd report the person in a heartbeat and let the townsfolks buzz. We need to stand up to people that undermine our parental rights. She is the one doing wrong, not you by reporting her. Also your son may wake up and finally listen to you and realize that you love him. Good luck dear:)

[squirt]

You need to start with your son, inform him of your knowledge of him using the junk, you don't have to tell him how you know. Then talk to the woman face to face and let her know you don't appreciate what she's doing to and for your son. From there you need to let the authorities know, even if it is small town. Isn't there some kind of federal law about selling or giving those products to minors. Sure he's not buying it, your neighbor is, but your neighbor is giving it to your son. Again start at home with your son. You know you are the mother you can cut off his source of income, just buy him what he needs. You don't have to give him an allowance, you don't have to give him extras. Food, clothing and shelter that is all you are required to give him by law. Anything extra is a bonus, so shut off the bonus. Hope you get this straightened out.

[Wimzik]

I live in a very small town too, I turned someone in for buying my son cigerettes when he was 16, I also turned a woman in that worked at the store for selling them to him, yes, I was shunned, but the people that shunned me were not people I wanted to associate with anyway. Alot of people thought I was a b!tch, and thats okay, they thought twice before they bought or sold cigerettes to him again. What happens next time when it is alcohol? or drugs?:confused:

[Tasha405]

{{{Kyla Kym}}}

[Mystic32]

Kyla Kym,
You made me sound sooo harsh! I wasn`t trying to be. I was just trying to make the case that if where you live people like talk about others I would think they would have more of a case against her from what your post said. I also feel that it`s a shame that you would personally feel shunned when it`s your son that should be your top priority. No I guess I have no clus about where you live but from what you stated in your post it seems like it goes back to the dark ages. I`m sorry to have upset you & I wish you well....Have you thought about moving to a more civilized area?