AllKnowingFool
08-05-2003, 12:52 PM
I don't post a much frequently, but I need some help. I don't know who else to turn to. So. Here goes. Hopefully, by the time I am finished, I'll feel better.
I have a friend, who lives in KY. He's a pretty good friend and I love him tons. His history is not the greatest. He was a pill head, but has gone through detox and rehab. I thought that that was all behind him. I appearently was wrong.
Over the week end he was arrested for DUI. He doesn't know that I know. I know because I called his home and his mother told me. She and I agreed that it is best that he tells me. So she is not going to tell him that I even called. Which is fine cause if she told him I called he'd want to know what she told me. Anyway. He is asking me to stand by him. He has not told me what he did. Or anything. I know most of it from his mother. DUI, evading a police officer, reckless driving, reckless endagerment. He wrecked his car. I don't know how bad the car is or anything. I do know it was a *nice* car. I do not want to desert him when he needs me. But a little part of my mind is whispering "what if this is only the begining? What if he does it again? Then what?" I want to stand by him cause I love him. And I want to help him in any way I can. But I just don't know. I have conflicting thoughts. Part of me just wants to run.
I have never had any substance abuse problems. So I don't really know about what happens with the body. The only thing I have that might be remotely like the withdrawl he was going through was when I was switching my antidepressant medications. I know he was a pill head for 3+ years. He told me that he doesn't want to be a pill head anymore. He wanted to sober up. But this whole thing makes the sobering up thing seem like a lie. I don't know what to believe. My heart tells me to be there for him. To support him. But. My mind says that he will never sober up. That he won't change. That this is the first part of a down spiral and do I really want to be dragged down with him? I just don't know what to listen to. My heart or my mind. Each has it's own reasons for following what it says. I know that this guy is crazy for me. But I just can't help but think "What if he can't kick the habit? What if the pills win?" *sigh* I just can't stop caring about him though. It's not like me to turn my back on someone that needs me.
I am sorry for all the rambling. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I am in between a rock and a hard spot. Either way, I think I may lose.
I have a friend, who lives in KY. He's a pretty good friend and I love him tons. His history is not the greatest. He was a pill head, but has gone through detox and rehab. I thought that that was all behind him. I appearently was wrong.
Over the week end he was arrested for DUI. He doesn't know that I know. I know because I called his home and his mother told me. She and I agreed that it is best that he tells me. So she is not going to tell him that I even called. Which is fine cause if she told him I called he'd want to know what she told me. Anyway. He is asking me to stand by him. He has not told me what he did. Or anything. I know most of it from his mother. DUI, evading a police officer, reckless driving, reckless endagerment. He wrecked his car. I don't know how bad the car is or anything. I do know it was a *nice* car. I do not want to desert him when he needs me. But a little part of my mind is whispering "what if this is only the begining? What if he does it again? Then what?" I want to stand by him cause I love him. And I want to help him in any way I can. But I just don't know. I have conflicting thoughts. Part of me just wants to run.
I have never had any substance abuse problems. So I don't really know about what happens with the body. The only thing I have that might be remotely like the withdrawl he was going through was when I was switching my antidepressant medications. I know he was a pill head for 3+ years. He told me that he doesn't want to be a pill head anymore. He wanted to sober up. But this whole thing makes the sobering up thing seem like a lie. I don't know what to believe. My heart tells me to be there for him. To support him. But. My mind says that he will never sober up. That he won't change. That this is the first part of a down spiral and do I really want to be dragged down with him? I just don't know what to listen to. My heart or my mind. Each has it's own reasons for following what it says. I know that this guy is crazy for me. But I just can't help but think "What if he can't kick the habit? What if the pills win?" *sigh* I just can't stop caring about him though. It's not like me to turn my back on someone that needs me.
I am sorry for all the rambling. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I am in between a rock and a hard spot. Either way, I think I may lose.