He's Gone Again & Gave Me Bad News!

[MrsManxieCat]

Well just like these last few weeks hubby left again today for the week. Ugh I am getting so sick of only seeing him for 2 day's and then he is gone again. I am feeling really hurt and lost by this and just so lonely! I can't wait until he gets back from this one because he will be home all of Aug and most of Sept other than working during the day! He did give me bad news last night though that upset me. Come Oct. he will be gone for about 3.5 weeks will miss Halloween and then only be home for about a week before leaving in Nov for 1.5 months again :( Not only that but he will miss Thanksgiving and I yet again will be here alone with no one but the dogs! Ugh why do I always keep getting hurt by these schedules? Dosen't the Navy realize there hurting the families as well when they deploy them on work ups this long and like this? I know it is routine and has to be done but some is just rediculous. I mean comeon right now while he is gone he is only a few miles from the base, whats that all about? Thats makes it worse knowing he is still close to home and can't come home! I thought I could be strong and deal with all this but it seems alot harder then it was when I first did this 5yrs ago. Hey I had my family then to help but I have no one now. I just don't see how I can love someone so much and yet feel so hurt by whats going on with there job! I know it is not his fault so I do not take it out on him of course but damn is it hard! I do this for him because I love him and want to be with him and I damn sure hopes he knows that! By all means this is not easy for me at all. There are times where I just sit down and cry I am so alone and miss him so much! I am very proud of my hubby and he knows that. He is great at what he does and one of the best. He has a great thing going for him and for that I am proud of him! I just and so does he wish he could have more time right now home. Even last night he said to me that made me cry.. you know if I could quit this one job I would!It has me so pissed of honey it is not even funny! I never imagined it to be this bad honey and I am sorry for that. Just remeber I love you very much and I am so looking forward to August with you so we can spend some time together. Wasn't that just sweet and I said to him me to honey me to I can't wait! I also told him to please don't appologize for the schedule it is not your fault you can't control it! I just wanted to vent as I am a bit upset! Thanks for letting me do this hear guy's!

[jcw]

{{{{{{{{MrsManxieCat}}}}}}}} that has to be awful. Hope they let him stay home soon

[sweet~n~sassy]

sorry things are so hard for you right now. my hubby has been gone for almost 4 months now, he was in kuwait for a little over 3 months and is now in qatar. my kids havent gotten to see him a whole lot over the past 2 years. he was on active duty from oct 2001 til sept 2002 then activated again in feb 2003 and let for kuwait in april. its hard, but things will get better sooner or later.

[Willow]

I'm sorry you are feeling hurt and alone. :( About six years ago I was dating this guy who had a job that involved a lot of traveling. He would be away at work for three weeks just about every other month. We dated for a few months but I decided not to pursue the relationship any further. The traveling caused a lot of problems in our relationship.

[schsa]

Unfortunately because of the situation is Liberia and Iraq your husband and so many more are going to be away from home for long periods of time. The best you can do for him is just make sure he knows that you are behind him 100% and that you will handle things. I know it isn't easy but this is his life. When I was growing up, my dad was gone all of the time on business. I don't know how my mom did it but she did. I'd be lucky to see my dad once a month at some points while growing up.

It isn't easy on any relationship. But this won't last forever.

[MrsManxieCat]

he is not on his main deployment or currently dealing with the middle east deal. These are his work ups preparing him for his 6 month deployment in May of 04! They are normal work ups that everyone goes through before deploying. It is just rough right now is all finding out he is missing alot of holidays and this past june our Aniverssary! I know that this is the way it is and I need to stand behind him I am and there is no question on that! Believe me I have not said one word about this to him as I know this is his job and he is needed right now and depended on. Everything he said to me "that I quoted in original post" was him saying because he feels the same way. I was well aware of this situation when we married and have done it before 6yrs ago while we were engaged and I had family to help me out! It is just hard being all alone "we just moved here" having no kids friends or family to talk to or what not! I can and will do this for us. All I was trying to say is that this situation bites and it is a very hard thing to deal with when your doing so all alone! It can be done though and will be done by me just takes some time to get used to. I know that after this sea tour we get shore duty again and thats what I am looking forward to and keep telling myself! Military life by far is so hard when sea duty comes around that i won't deny. So to be clear I knew what I was getting into and I know what I am dealing with. I am just upset about it is all and am having a bit of trouble coping right now being alone and getting used to it!

[belcherpi]

I remember the work ups they would do before the big deployment. My DH was gone constantly. Starting next year when we move, we go back to sea duty and back to all the deployments again. When my hubby was gone on his big deployment he missed Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Him being gone for Christmas was the hardest.
I live a couple of hours from you and you are more than welcome to come visit me any time you want. I've been doing the Navy wife thing for 16 years now and honestly it don't get any easier.:(

[mrssnoop1]

My husband joined the Navy while I finished my last two years of high school. We live in Iowa and he was stationed in San Diego. Except for band trips I'd never been away from home. It wasn't easy for him to leave me, and I sure didn't make it easier by sitting there crying "you don't love me. You want to leave me." He finished 20 years and in that time I adjusted. We learned to make the most of our time together. In those 20 years he missed our anniversary 15 times. My husband use to fly home for weekends when allowed. Could yours do that? Or is there a Navy lodge where he is? Maybe you could go there for a weekend or something. I hope you can find something to make it better. Hang in there.

[MrsManxieCat]

Belcherpi thanks for that offer LOL thats to sweet of you. Mrssnoop I never have pulled the crying "you don't love me" etc to him cause I know it is not his fault and he can't control whats going on. I only really get upset and cry infront of him when he leaves for the main deployment or when I am home alone I cry sometimes. I know it is hard to live this way and I know in some cases it never gets easier for me I hope it will but not counting on it. All you can really do is look forward to your shore duties when your on them and also learn to make the best of the time you get together while your on sea "trust me we make the time" when he is home for the few day's to be together and have fun! I unfortunetly can't go visit him when there on work ups as they don't always get ports and usually it is only for a day or two anyways! Well like I said I have Aug and Sept to spend with him before he leaves for a while again at least I get that! LMAO now if this week will just fly by we can begin a month of normal living! He should be in Friday for sure but they may get back earlier and I am hoping they do! Thanks everyone for listening to me and for being so kind!

[reneep45]

i'm just lurking around bbs tonight & read this so i just wanted
to give you a big ""HUGG""
i know it's not the same but you are not alone ,,, you got US !
LOL ! We luv ya !

[mesue]

Sorry I know its hard I went through this with hubby in the marines, the military don't care about military wives when it comes right down to it, I hated it because I felt our lives were at the mercy of the whims of the military and politics, wars, etc., so I forced the issue when they offered hubby signup money when his term was up, by saying its me or the military, he had made E7 in four years time but I just could not handle it.

[JWWB2000]

I used to be in the Navy and I know that it is really hard to be away from your loved ones but one thing you must realize is he is NOT doing this for himself, he is doing this for the upkeep of freedom for our country. If you are having a hard time with him being away, please go to the Fleet Family Service Center and they will be able to help you out. Just keep in mind that you did not come in his seabag and the Navy sees it just as that. I don't mean to be so harsh but it is true. That is why there are programs out there like the Family Service Center to help the service member's family while they are gone or while they are going through a difficult time. You could also sign up to take college courses while he is gone to keep you occupied during the times he is gone. The Navy College Campus offers this to spouse's as well as the service member. You should check it out and see! You should also get to know some of the wives within you hubby's command and your neighbors to become friends with them. That way you all will be able to support one another while the other half is away for the work-ups.

[tiffany21]

I am sorry hugs

[squirt]

Just take advantage of the time he does have with you, treasure every moment. They are gone to fast. Then when he is gone brong ut your memories and think of the good times you had. As other have sugggested, go back to school, take a 'fun class'. Take lots of pictures, and remember the hugs and kisses. Have a good day

[ebgreen74]

I understand how you feel. My husband just recently got home from a 4 month deployment to Saudi, now he's gone for a week. Before the yr is up, he has a 2 weeker and a 6 weeker coming up. And these are the 1s we are expecting-who knows what else they have in store for us. Its very hard but you'll get through it. The computer helps alot. Force yourself to get out of the house too.

[belcherpi]

I was just thinking about your post again and remembering what it was like a few years ago when my DH was on sea duty. I remembered something a friend told me that she does for her hubby when he leaves. If he is gone for a month she would buy several cards and would write a little something in them and put them in the envelope and put something like "open on July 31st" or "open when you're having a bad day" or holidays or anniversaries. After my friend told me of her doing this, I started stocking up on cards and even making my own on the computer and when he said I'm leaving on Friday for a month or two, I was ready with the cards. The first time I did this for my hubby (after he packed) I went in and hid them in his bags and he found them after he was gone and was unpacking. It was a total surprise for him and it cheered him up so much. The first time I talked to DH after he found his first card, you could hear the excitement in his voice. That way several times during their "outings" they know you are thinking of them and miss them. I would write on the calender when a card was to be opened and I know on that day he knew I was thinking of him. ;)

[MrsManxieCat]

JWWB2000,
I know he is not doing this for himself and I have said that a million times in my postings above. I have no disrespect for him doing what he does I am very proud of him and him keeping us all safe. I know I am not military issue and I understand as well. I knew what I was getting into when we married 4yrs ago but I just never knew having no one or knowing no one would be so hard. I have talked to the Ombudsmen of the ship about meeting the other wifes and such but they have nothing available for us at the moment on his ship! I am in process of getting a job and also soon to be starting class for a Vet Tech! I know how to keep myself busy and all but when you get free time and have time to think thats when it all hits you and you realize how hurt you are! I Love my Hubby to death and you better believe I wouldn't do anythig to hurt him or his career!

He gets home Thursday or Friday from what I know! We will have the next 2 months together starting then! You better believe all will be positive and happy for us when this comes. We will treasure every moment we get together and make it worth our while :) I know how to do that and I know were both looking forward to this time together. Hey he even told me in bed the night before he left he couldn't wait to be home and spend the time with me! I have learned Military life is the hardest to deal with but in the end longrun it pays off with many years of happiness ahead together to make up for the lost time you had then! I just can't wait for the few remaining years to pass by so we are given our chance!

Thanks eveyrone else above who has posted that they know what I am going through or that there here for me! It makes me feel better to know there are people who do care and also people who are doing or feeling the same! It really makes my day to know there are people who care! To all those whom posted here that there also going through this I am so sorry for you as well and I wish you the best of luck wiht it as well!

Belcherpi,
Thats a great idea! I did that with an anniverssary card for him when he left in June! I will have to start doing that though when he does the long deployments as I am sure he will like that.

[Iluvbears]

That's an excellent idea Belcherpi...I'll have to remember that one.

[JWWB2000]

I was just trying to give you some ideas and to tell you from experience of having to go away from my family while in the Navy that it is equally hard on the person in the military as well as their family. I HAVE BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT!!! It really does suck! Sorry to hear your hubby is stationed with a ship because they are ALWAYS gone.

As of this day, my hubby is still going on the carriers in the Gulf. He is NOT in the Navy any more but he is a contractor. Under the current one he is working, he is a projects systems engineer on the SSU plane. For those of you who are unfamiler with Naval aircarft, this is a beefed up S-3B Viking. The S-3B is the same model aircraft the President flew onto the USS Lincoln a few monthes back. My hubby will be leaving myself and our 2 1/2 year old daughter on Aug 5 and will not return until Aug 22. It is not just military families who suffer their spouses being gone, but those of us who work as a contractor or as civial service (GS type) also. I miss my hubby too when he is gone.

[Anthill]

When I met my husband almost 10 yrs ago, he was still in the Navy. He had almost 2 years left, and he tried to reinlist, but for some reason they kept losing his paperwork. He was attached to the Kennedy ship and it was stationed in Philly at the time and was to be @ the Philly station for the next 2 to 4 years. Which is where we are both from. HE had already did his Sea duty and by losing the paperwork they were going to make him do sea duty again with another ship etc. I told him that I could never be a Navy Wife, I just don't have it in me. I then told him that our Marriage certificate was only good in the state of PA (just kidding, if this was something he was really serious about I would have supported him). So needless to say he didn't reenlist.