broken heart...

[freebiegrl22]

For the past month, I have had a wonderful boyfriend. He was everything I thought I could ever want. 3 days ago, he became very distant. I called him and I told him I really wanted to see him that night and how much I missed him...He said he plans with his ex-girlfriend....(They were "friends")

Yesterday, I called him again, and I straight out asked him if we were breaking up. He said he didn't know. I asked him what I did wrong. He said nothing.

The last time I saw him, his parting words were, "I love you more than I've loved anyone in my life. Always remember that..."

There is so much to this situation, but I just don't have the energy to go into it. We went way too fast, I know this. He was my best friend, and now I feel like I have lost my love and my only friend around here. I feel so alone, like I have nothing to do and nothing to say. I will not call him or go to his house. I made the first move. If he wants his ex-girlfriend, then fine with me. He knew I had baggage when I got with him. He knew I had a twin. He knew everything. He was the first person I ever loved, ever let touch me, ever let know the real me. He knew I was sensitive. HE KNEW IT. And he played off that. He said everything I ever wanted to hear.

I don't know how to deal with this. All I want is for him to hurt more than me. I want him to know what he did. I need him to know that he is the one that caused my pain. I am so angry, but sad. I am so hurt, I don't even know what to say or do. I haven't spoken to him since yesterday morning. I lost my best friend, my lover, my companion. He always said he didn't know what he would do without me. Now I know what he'll do...HE WILL GO BE WITH HIS EX, because she is easy,(not sexually). She's easier to deal with than me. I'm a writer, I drift off for no apparent reason, I think differently, I actually care about things. I care about people. I could never hurt anything, but now, I am just so angry.

I just want to cuss and spit and hit him where it hurts. But I won't. I will just keep this to myself and try to deal with it. I don't know how to deal with it, but hey, at least I will try.

He's the first person I ever loved, and now, the first person I ever lost.

[Lisa03]

sorry to hear this

love can suck at time- I know but things do get better

I lost my first real love & I thought it was the end of the world

Over time, I think goodness we did break up. It was meant to be

[BeanieLuvR]

{{{{freebiegrl22}}}} I am sorry that you got hurt. :(

[DBackFan]

Oh sweetie I am so sorry. You are such an immensley talented person and yes very sensitive too. Those are wonderful qualities but also leave you vulnerable. Please take care and let me know if you need anything. I had wondered about you because you have not been around. I was hoping for the best.

[Iluvbears]

He may need time to hisself to think things over. Let him go and if he comes back it was meant to be. I hope he comes back to you.

Poor thang {{Hugs to you}}

[lpelham]

Originally posted by Elusive Butterfly
the old daying goes...(I know this may seem likea diss at you but really, its not)
if you love something... set it free...

I used to like that saying until I heard a better one (and had had my heart broken so many times I couldn't count anymore)-

Living well is the best revenge

Go out and have a good time - let him be the one that is sad!

Libby

[Sparkli]

one day at a time, baby. if it's meant to be, then it will happen. If he's not the one, then just think! Someone even better is meant to be with you!

hugs, I know what you are going thru.
Tammy

[KimNRandy]

I feel your pain and know exactly where you are coming from. Not so long ago, I was madly, passionately in love. And when it went wrong, I was devastated. I cried and cried, and believe me...I am NOT a cryer. Losing my first love was the most painful experience of my life. All I can tell you is that the pain DOES lessen... just stay strong and stay BUSY. PM or email if you want to talk. :)

[ckerr4]

{{{LQ}}} I'm so sorry:(

[BigLyd1]

You sound like a person who has a lot to offer. Just remember it's his loss.

[Jayd]

I suck at giving advice on disappointment because I, myself can't handle it well. I can only offer advice on what NOT to do.
Do NOT chase him. Don't be his back up plan. Don't let him think that you can't live without him and TRY not to hit him in his "tender" spot. God knows, that's the only tender spot on/in a man. ;)

Cry hard and loud when you're alone. Scream if you have to. Let it out. Don't worry about feeling sorry for yourself. Just do it.
Then after you can't shed one more tear, shower, put on your makeup, dress in something that makes YOU feel attractive and go out.
Being alone makes it all feel worse. Try not to dwell. In the end, you WILL come out on top. She was his EX for a reason and as soon as the "make up passion" is gone, he'll remember WHY she was his ex.
Hopefully by then you'll remeber why he's your ex now and you'll keep it that way.
Hugz! You know I've always thought you were wonderful and I'm NEVER wrong ;)

[mlayton1994]

((hugs))

[Tracy'sMom]

(((HUGS)))

[Angelbear3]

I'm so sorry... I went through this a couple months ago. (((((hugs))))) I know that there's nothing that can be said to make you feel any better

[jadegentle]

{{{Freebie}}} :( I know what it's like hun, I had the same thing happen to me,I cussed him all to pieces and even had a discussion with the chick he ditched me for. When I realized that he wasn't the right one for me, I noticed someone I'd known for years, long story short, he's now my dh of 7 yrs. Sometimes we gotta go thru the chit to find the good stuff. I'm here for ya, if you're coming home sometime soon, let me know, maybe we can get together. I have broad shoulders, perfect for crying on.

[mrs.john]

{{{hugs}}} I know what it's like to put everything into something and then be devastated. I know it seems like life isn't fair right now, but you WILL overcome this.

[freebiegrl22]

I never ever thought I would be going thru this. Man, was he slick...One of those guys that said everything right, told me how beautiful and wonderful I was. He held me in his arms one night and told me everything he loved about me...Now, I guess I am in the stage where I'm like, why did he say those things...but now, I think I am more pissed than anything. All I want to do is get an answer to why...2 days and all of a sudden he doesn't love me anymore...good for him, I'll go on, and he will see what he missed...

btw, you have no idea how much it means to me that you all responded. I love you guys so much, and I knew that If I came here, I would get that love I needed so much. You have no idea what that means to me. Thank you all so much...

[DBackFan]

I'm here whenever you need me sweetie :)

[Tasha405]

{{{{freebiegrl}}}}

[Ladytiger]

{{{LQ}}}} We've all been there and it hurts like hell, but you know what? It makes you stronger. Listen to the words to "Fighter". I love that song-it can be applied to anything, particularly a breakup. So what if you are different, that is what makes the world what it is, imagine if we were all easy to get along with-what a boring place it would be after awhile.
I am always touting the Letting Go book by Zev Wanderer I think-great book.
Beat up a pillow, or a box-it always helps. Above all, DO NOT call him back, if he calls, you are busy-always.
You have my email.

Fighter

When I, thought I knew you
Thinking, that you were true
I guess I, I couldn't trust
'Cause your bluff time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were, there by my side
Always, down for the ride
But your, joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out of shame, mmhmm

After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But, uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Oh, ohh

Never, saw it coming
All of, your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in
On a good thing before I realized your game
I heard, you're going around
Playing, the victim now
But don't, even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave, uh huh

After all of the fights and the lies
Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore
Uh, no more, oh no, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down
So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

[tsquared]

from reading front to last entry it seems that you are such a cool gal and so much more deserving than what this dude gave you!! Go out and have a great time and enjoy your friends....the right guy will come along.....maybe before you even know it......

[Crick]

Originally posted by tsquared
from reading front to last entry it seems that you are such a cool gal and so much more deserving than what this dude gave you!! Go out and have a great time and enjoy your friends....the right guy will come along.....maybe before you even know it......

Ditto...Hope you find someone special.

[squirt]

don't get me started on the subject of MEN. They come into our lives, and we being stupid, dumb, blind fall for everything they tell us. I don't know why, maybe beacuse they catch us at a vulnerable point in our lives. and we believe the s**t they tell us. Then all of a sudden they pull the rug out from under us. We're left trying to catch ourselves throwing our arms out like a windmill, and end up on our behinds. It's up to us to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and march on. God it hurts, I know how it hurts. It's like having a loved one die, only they're still walking around and still giving you the same old bs, how much they love you, etc. Time will heal sweetie. Keep your self busy. If as you say you are a writer, put it to writing, make a novel out of it. Hey he's the bad guy, make him one. Have fun with it. Have a good day, and hang in there . We're here for you

[Gumball1960]

I know exactly what you are feeling.. I've been there too. You're angry that you don't know what is going on in his head and frustrated like crazy because he's shutting you out. You need to move on but you need closure so you can satisfy something inside you that you got your 2 cents in and let him have a piece of your mind. You want to blame yourself - DON'T! He had you "brainwashed" into believing what he wanted you to believe. Time really does help heal.
I know you want answers to your questions and maybe you will get them someday. But now is not the time to go after them. Wait a long while until you have had some time to heal. Doing it now will only make the hurt & anger start all over again. It will get better, and you will feel better eventually. {{{freebiegrl22}}}

[schsa]

Sweetie, it's real easy for a man to keep up a lie for a month. After all, everything is new and fresh and exciting. Then they say something stupid and you begin to doubt your own sanity and if you really heard correctly. And then they say something stupid again. That's the point where you begin to wonder what happened to your ability to judge human character.

It's happened to all of us at one time or another. You meet someone, it's so wonderful, and then he says something stupid. And you want to slap yourself up the side of the head for all of the romantic thoughts that you were having about spending Christmas and New Year's Eve together.

Men should be shot for doing this sort of thing.