Domestic Goddesses--How do you do it?

[japanesewhisper]

My hubby and I have been married over five years now and are starting to consider starting our family.

I want to stay home with our kids, but I'm not sure we can afford it. How do you guys do it? What things to you do to make ends meet? Did you prepare to be a SAHM? If so, what things did you do?

I'm looking at a year or more before trying to get pregnant, so I have time.


Thanks!

[ladybugbhb]

one thing i always said was that i could not afford TO work, lol. daycare costs are so much, and gas and lunch and clothes,lol. it is all so expensive. you are smart to start planning now. i had no choice. haleigh was a "gift" my suggestion would be to start now tryoing to pay off any small bills you have. that way that is less you have to pay while you are on one income. good luck in all!

[NINK]

you need to reduce your spending now and get use to it. i keep us on a strickt budget. you should start now living off of his salary only and start putting all your money in a savings account. your house payment should be no more than two weeks worth of your income(your meaning your hubby's alone with out yours) and if you have a car payment it should be no more than a weeks pay. this leaves you with two full weeks of pay to pay all the rest of your bills. what you do each week is take out a forth of your car payment and your hopuse payment and pay what ever bill is do and than the rest you should devide in half and save half or use it to pay off any debt. than what ever is left over you again devide in half and half is yours and half is your hubby's to do with what ever you wish. but you should budget in for all bills including gas and groceries not take those things out of your personal money. this is what we do and it works nicely, and than any time i can i work, like i go to my dads house and take my kids with me and work on his farm or i do things on line or may be clean some ones house or baby sit. and that money i use for fun things or to do home improvements. make sure you use coupons or shop at really cheap stores like aldis or saves alot and some big lots have food. if something is really cheap buy a ton of it, one time ekerd's drug store had deoderant for 90% off and so i bought all they had, that was in 1999 and i just now ran out. seamed weird at the time but things like that can really save you money in the long run. check and see if any of your grocery stores double or tripple coupons. only buy things you actually need though, dont get sucked into a good deal if it isn't something you actually want.

[OX_Love_OX]

Originally posted by NINK
you need to reduce your spending now and get use to it. i keep us on a strickt budget. you should start now living off of his salary only and start putting all your money in a savings account. your house payment should be no more than two weeks worth of your income(your meaning your hubby's alone with out yours) and if you have a car payment it should be no more than a weeks pay. this leaves you with two full weeks of pay to pay all the rest of your bills. what you do each week is take out a forth of your car payment and your hopuse payment and pay what ever bill is do and than the rest you should devide in half and save half or use it to pay off any debt. than what ever is left over you again devide in half and half is yours and half is your hubby's to do with what ever you wish. but you should budget in for all bills including gas and groceries not take those things out of your personal money. this is what we do and it works nicely, and than any time i can i work, like i go to my dads house and take my kids with me and work on his farm or i do things on line or may be clean some ones house or baby sit. and that money i use for fun things or to do home improvements. make sure you use coupons or shop at really cheap stores like aldis or saves alot and some big lots have food. if something is really cheap buy a ton of it, one time ekerd's drug store had deoderant for 90% off and so i bought all they had, that was in 1999 and i just now ran out. seamed weird at the time but things like that can really save you money in the long run. check and see if any of your grocery stores double or tripple coupons. only buy things you actually need though, dont get sucked into a good deal if it isn't something you actually want.

All 100% WONDERFUL advice!

[MelanieAnn]

The best piece of advice I can give is not to run up any more debt. If you have a lot of credit cards, etc, pay them down! If it is too much to pay off by yourself, consider joining a debt counseling service. They lower your interest rates, etc, and help you pay off cards much quicker.

I can't agree more with the advice already given. Especially about stocking up on a good bargain (as long as you need it).

Another thing to do is buy baby/maternity clothing at a thrift store, if you have one near you. I have bought the majority of my daughter's clothing at thrift shops, for $1-2 per item. Sometimes I even find something for myself, although plus size isn't as easy to come by. :)

I don't have much other advice, unfortunately. I have been very lucky and have not had to work except for 4 months in my entire life. Right now I just do eBay stuff to make a tiny bit of cash that covers my own clothing. :)

Good luck! You will definately get plenty of support from all of us here. :)

[NINK]

you may also want to see what kind of programs are in your area, many places offer baby education classes and reward you for taking them. usually they are run by churches or other non profit agencies. there is a program here where i live called baby bucks. you read books and write reports or watch movies or help out in the center as a volunter or do a home bible study or go to church, everything you do you earn baby bucks for and than you can go to the little store they have and spend them, i just went up there and for 3 baby bucks i came home with 2 packs of diapers baby wipes and several outfits and shampoo and lotion, and a rain coat for my daughter and a pair of shoes for her, oh and they have a free table and i stocked up on baby food there.

there was a place i use to live that had things you could loan, like maternity clothes cribs, everything. what you did was use whatever you want for as long as you need it and than just take things back as you were done, all the moms in town did this so there were always things there.

also even higher income people can get w.i.c. it is a national program to give pregnant and breast feeding moms and children 5 and under healthy food for free.

find other stay at home moms and swap kids clothes and coupons and help each other out. my aunt does that and she hasn't had to buy many clothes at all.

[japanesewhisper]

Thanks for all of the great suggestions. Visited friends last night who have a 5 month old. My husband is in love, so we maybe starting our family sooner than planned!


Amber

[Kyla Kym]

Start babysitting for awhile on a daily bases. Then you will get an idea of how things are going to be with a responsibility. Once you have a child, you lose all your freedom. Every decision you make from then on will have to revolve around your child. You can't go to the bathroom or take a shower for many years without knowing someone is watching the child, or in my case my son had to be in the bathroom with me. Only takes a second out of your sight and they can be hurt badly. You can't even make a quick trip to the store without having to get the baby in the car seat and having to pack a diaper bag. Keep this in mind. That was the worse part to me about becoming a parent. Giving up your freedom is worse than you might think. I couldn't do nothing without having to plan around my child first. :)

[CarolinaBlue]

I've been a SAHM for 16 years now! We just made choices that were the right thing to do for us. We rarely eat out or go to movies, etc. We rarely take expensive vacations; maybe a day trip here and there. We do have 2 late model cars, but we bought them both used. I guess what I am trying to say is that we decided to do without some of the luxuries in order for me to stay home.

Good luck!

[mesue]

Heres one of the best websites I've found yet. http://frugalliving.about.com/library/weekly/aa020800a.htm This website is full of all kinds of tips and ideas and links to other websites like dollar stretcher. Theres lots of information start using it now to cut bills and learn how to do it and use the extra money to build an emergency fund. You are very smart to learn it now before you have to. Good Luck!

[SueShopper]

Kyla- Very Very Well Said - I always tell my single friends - they have no idea how life changes after!!!!! NO IDEA.
I really didn't have a clue either.. although prepared, you just never know until you're in that situation.
-------
Get used to not getting any sleep. My son did not sleep thru the night until he was 10 MONTHS OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And when he was an infant, every 2 hrs. I was up!!!!!!
All you want is sleep. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But, all babies are different. Some sleep thru the night with no problem. Unfortunately, my son did not like his bassinett or his crib !
It's so much better now .. he's 4 and 1/2 going on 13 :)
And a true joy to have, .. you don't know what your life is for until you have a child and you can't remember what life was like before you had them. It's like they were always with you.

[HaveKids,LostMind]

When you have a child, you will find any way possible to stay home with them. You just do it!

You could always have a daycare in your home to bring in additional income.

You can also browse all of your local store ads and then shop for all the sale items at stores that price match--less time spent going store to store and you still get everyone's best sale price.

Garage saleing or shopping BBS or eBay for things you want/need rather than paying full price for a brand new item can save you alot.

Always use coupons combined with items on sale. And its best to shop on double/triple coupon days if your store has them.

That's all I can think of, but we have made it work for 6 years and with 3 kiddos.

Good luck on the baby making! ;)