Wal-Mart =. Heaven ???

[Jolie Rouge]

We consider Wal-Mart to be God's gift to shoppers. Literally, here are the similitudes I have noticed between the kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of Everyday Low Prices.

Heaven: St. Peter greets you at the gates
Wal-Mart: Some old geezer named Peter greets you at the automatic doors

Heaven: Eternal
Wal-Mart: Open 24 hours

Heaven: Where old people go when they expire
Wal-Mart: Where old people go when the retire

Heaven: Plenty of Room for everyone who loves God
Wal-Mart: Plenty of Parking for Everyone

Heaven: Golden-haired angels shouting the glory of God
Wal Mart: Purple-haired obese women shouting for a price check on diapers

Heaven: Salvation and redemption no matter what your sin
Wal-Mart: Full money refund on no matter what your complaint

Heaven: EDLP = Every Do-gooder lives peacefully
Wal-Mart: EDLP = Every day low prices

Heaven: Sam Walton -- now a resident!
Wal-Mart: Sam's choice cola -- now on sale!

[suziebee20]

lol, mostly true except the parking for everyone! You can never find a good spot at ours without the handicap placard.

[flute]

I don't love wal*mart, supercenter came into town & ran the ONLY grocery store out of town (he's completely out of business) and they close tomorrow, I have to leave town to buy groceries, cus I'll be danged to buy the bulk of my groceries there. Sorry to rain on your parade, carry on ;)

[Jolie Rouge]

Hiya Flute !

[twinkiesmom]

yeah, gotta disagree w/the parking for everyone. Parking for every shopping cart is more like it at the Wally's around here. And they're not open 24hrs either. The supercenter that's going up in the next town prolly will be.

[Jolie Rouge]

ya'll do realise it is making fun of Wal*Mart -- right ? ;)

[twinkiesmom]

Jolie - yep. Just putting in my 2 cents worth of v/w.