Do you think that it is wrong

[bears984]

Do you think that it is wrong want someone to die when they are not in good health? My dad has been suffering for several years now with his health and he is in the hospital alot as a matter of fact he is in the hospital right now just had his 5th stroke and they are needing to do another double bypass surgery on him he had one done in 1990. They can not do the surgery on him because he can not walk right now. The doctor's told my mother that he does need this surgery because he has a 95% blockage in his heart but they feel that he would only have a 95 to 5 percent and the 5 percent is of living but if he has nothing done then he will just go home and die soon. I don't want him to suffer any more it is hard to watch him suffer all the time.:(

[jaybird]

That's a very personal question and decision that I couldn't answer without being in the same situation.

But there's a reason he is still with you...make the most of whatever time you have.

[ladybugbhb]

(((((hugs))))) to you. i can not answer this for you. i can just let you know that God is there for you and will be with you in your time of uncertainty!

[ocvachick]

i have been there personally... and those thoughts have crossed my mind. although enjoying everyday that i had with this person, i still wished that they had some "relief". I will keep this very simple... as i dont want to hurt anyones feelings, but just wanted to vouch and say i have had these feelings.

[CABANN]

I know exactly what you are talking about. My dad was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gherigs (sp?) disease) in 1988 and was given two years to live. That was the hardest two years of my life. I watched a very active and strong man turn into a helpless person who wasn't able to do anything like talk, move ect. He died in July 1990, and even though it was hard on the whole family and we all were very upset, we knew he was in a better place and not suffering anymore after he passed. If you need to talk you can pm me. I am sorry you are going through this. It is hard, I know.

[annie169]

My MIL just died the day after Mother's day. It was just a relief to everyone. She was so sick. Last year she had a stroke and heart attack within hours of each other and then 2 weeks before mother's day, she had another heart attack. Her heart was already damaged from years of dealing with Scleroderma. Her only daughter told me that all the stress she had from her mother's illnesses was over and she felt like a burden had been lifted. We didn't want her to go, but we didn't want to see her suffer like that. She hated her life like that too.

It is very hard to say that you want the person to die, but you don't want them to suffer either.

[lpelham]

Originally posted by ocvachick
i have been there personally... and those thoughts have crossed my mind. although enjoying everyday that i had with this person, i still wished that they had some "relief". I will keep this very simple... as i dont want to hurt anyones feelings, but just wanted to vouch and say i have had these feelings.

I agree with this. I watched my grandmother go through two stokes when she was in her early 80s. It makes you feel bad to think things like that, but I had to accept that at her age, she was not going to get better. It is hard, because even when you wish for "relief," you know what that means. And it was especially hard for me because I was pretty much my grandmother's sole caregiver and you just tire of that and wish for relief not only for them, but for yourself too.

I guess what I am saying is you will feel guilty thinking it, but you are not alone. I wish you well - take care of yourself.

Libby