Having trouble getting my youngest daughter baptised.

[kidzpca]

A year and a half ago my youngest dot started getting very ill. (December 2001). In March 2002 she was sent to a Hemetologist/Oncologist(blood and cancer specialist) due to bruising and blood tests that indicated a blood disorder.

In August 2002 dot was diagnosed with a very rare form of Leukemia. And was very much expected to pass on due to this illness. But with much prayer, faith and other intervention, dot recieved a stem cell transplant from her brother whom was a near perfect match in November 2002. Enough to do the job.

Now some seven months later, dot has come down with Graft Verses Host Disease. We believe very early stage, controled with medications and close/supervised medical care. At this point GVHD is below stage 1. A controllable stage. And one all patients must pass through in order to rid her body of any left over cancer cells from her treatment if any. Thus we will monitor the condition so as to not have it progress further. Stages 3 and 4 are deadly.

During all this, my Church(of 5 years) still refused to baptize dot early last year. The reason: because we do not attend services every Sunday. What? :confused: :confused: This church knows that I work in a hospital and must work Sundays. And can't possibly attend each and every Sunday, and with a child whom needs medical treatment frequently...But after many attempts, and medical proof of our need and continual refusals a year ago we stopped attending that Church. We still go to Church but have yet to find a Church that we like.

However with the new developement we want to ensure that dot's baptism is done so that if things do become worse, she may pass on to a better place with God's Blessing. But because of our previous experience with the other Church we are a bit "Gun shy"

Any suggestions to solve this problem?

[Widgetsx3]

I cannot believe that your church would refuse your daughter a baptism because of your work schedule. Especially if this is something your DD is seriously wanting. Have you tried the Church of Christ or Calvary Church? Look in your paper, most have a list of Church's in the Saturday or Sunday paper...try calling a few and explaining the situation. Any church worth the bible it preaches from should be happy to welcome a child of God into their fold. I will pray that the Lord gives you and your family the guidance to find the direction you need....God Bless

Edited to add....I hope your DD's new health diffuculties are overcome.

[LadyBones]

Sounds like a Catholic Church ( I am not putting Catholics down, I am a Catholic, as is my DH and 3 kids) But we changed as the Catholic church is strict on alot of things.
Would you be willing to change religions?
a few we looked at and liked are: protestent, Lutherin, also Baptist (not southern) I would take a look at other religions in your area and talk to them, I'm sure there will be one out there you will like. and will baptise your DD
(((HUGS)))

[kidzpca]

Originally posted by Ravenlost
How horrible. I wish I had a good suggestion, but am not a believer in organized religion...due to situations such as you are in. My heart goes out to you and yours...I hope you find what you're looking for.

I believe that this is where I have been during this difficult time due to our previous Church's defiance. Perhaps why we haven't found what we are looking for.

And although dot is doing very well, she deserves to have Peace... and comfort that all is going to be well whether she recovers or not.

Her condition is controlled....and hope to continue this way...but the next 18 months could be rocky if the GVHD does not go away soon.

[Jolie Rouge]

IF you are Catholic, call the Diosese. Check with some other Parishes - sounds like the Pastor has not got his priorities straight.
Ditto if it is another religion -- there must be some other representatives available. Have you spoken to the Chaplin at the hospital ? Please PM me if I can help or offer suggestions

[okie]

I don't really have any advice but here is a hug.

{{{{kidzpca}}}}

[kelblend]

Wow! I don't understand that thinking. I go to a Baptist church and it's if you give your heart to God, then you get baptised. I don't see what the every sunday has to do with a thing. I doubt God would hold it against anyonewith whom He has a relationship. Shoot I imagine God would know whats in her heart more than someone else. Also, your daughter couldn't have went every sunday anyway. I think it's just wrong. I'm sorry that it's happened to you all. Umm I do want to say that I'm going by what I know from the Baptist religion. I don't think I know much about Catholicism. I hope I didn't offend you with any of my thinking. I also hope your daughter gets to get baptised soon and that you all find a church you are comfortable in. (((kidzpca and family)))

[sandytrap]

I agree completely with Kel, the churches I have been to, Baptist and Presbyterian will baptise anyone who believes in God and who accepts the free gift of Salvation. Attending church every Sunday or even Most Sundays is not always feasible. I haven't been in a church yet that has treated people differently based on their attendance. I am sorry about your daughter although it does sound like things are going well for now! I will keep her in my prayers! Much love to you and yours!

[Widgetsx3]

All that God asks is that you ask for him to enter your heart and forgive your sins. To walk a life with Him. Matthew 18:18-20 Says "Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in Heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in Heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in Heaven. For where there are two or three gathered in my name, there I am in the mdist of them.

If your daughter wishes to accept the Lord, all she needs is to do it in the presence of witnesses....and in God's name....he is there and it is bound in heaven,

[janelle]

I can't believe it's a Catholic church because they baptise babies. Come churches want people to be able to accept Jesus intellectually and know about God first before they will baptise anyone.

Run do not walk to other churches and talk to the pastors. Tell them your situation. I bet you will find lots and lots of churches that will happily baptize your daughter.

[janelle]

Acually you can baptise your daughter yourself. All you need are the elements of water, make sure it is water and no other liquid.

While pouring the water over her head say, "I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit". If you are a believer it will be easy but I do recommend that you follow up in a church so she can get the continuing care of good people. They can pray for her and be with her. And I'm sure they will be happy to baptize her again, if that is what she wants.

[curlymae29]

Why not southern?

kidzpca

How old is your daughter? The church I attended as a child didn't believe in baptism until they reached the age of accountability. They viewed this to be around 12 years old. They discouraged children under 12 because the child was considered to be covered by grace.

Which I do believe. A young child is covered, but I think accountability comes at different ages for different children. Once they have an understanding of sin, the need for salvation, and that Christ is that salvation, then they have reached the age of accountability. However I don't believe that you have to be baptised to be saved. To me it's like a wedding ceremony. A public demonstration of your faith.

I think most churches will baptise without requiring membership or anything else. Look around.

[kybeauty]

Kidzpca...that is the SADDEST story I have EVER read..I will keep you in my prayers...and pray you find the perfect church for your family...*shame on them*

[mugwump]

Originally posted by Ravenlost
How horrible. I wish I had a good suggestion, but am not a believer in organized religion...due to situations such as you are in. My heart goes out to you and yours...I hope you find what you're looking for.

Like Ravenlost I am no longer a member of any organized church ... when we were trying to get our youngest son baptized, the United Church near us said they would only do it if we joined the church and tithed (sp?) a certain amount. We were horrified! Tried another United Church and we were welcomed.

So no real advise for you ... just keep trying ... sometimes it is the minister or priest not the denomination of the church.

[tikitiki]

how old is your daughter?

[MillersMom]

Children under the age of accountability are covered by grace...they don't know what is and is not sin. If your daughter has the desire to be baptised, then she knows the meaning of sin and what baptism means. My hubby and I go to a Church of God. I agree with the other posters, find a church that will work with you because of your work schedule and your daughter's illness. God's requirements are the only ones that count. Don't worry about the "churches" and their requirements. Their requirements are mans requirements and not God's.

God's requirements are: Mark 16:16 "He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned."

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

When we believe, the next step is baptism. And baptism is only the outward sign of a changed heart. Many thru the ages believed and were not able to be baptised but they still believed and are saved by virtue of that belief.

We are to join a body of believers so that we can pray for eachother and teach eachother. In my Bible, it does not say that we had to join a church in order to be baptized. Joining a church comes later, after baptism.

I will pray for you and your daughter. God will show you the way. This I firmly believe.

[janelle]

I hate to see all you guys throw the baby out with the bath water. Keep seeking for fellow believers and forget about the rotten apples you run across. I think it helps us in our spiritual journey to have fellow travelers for their encouragement and help. That's why in the early church people would band together to help each other in their search for God. If we didn't have formal religion it would have all gone by the wayside.

Don't focus on the person in the pew next to you but to Jesus. Churches are like hospitals for the spiritual sick so we try to help each other but Jesus should be the reason you go to church. If He isn't then you will never belong anywhere because people are not perfect and will disappoint you. In fact, you will never find a perfect church so don't make that the criteria of your search.

[LadyBones]

Originally posted by curlymae29
Why not southern?


I did'nt mean i did'nt like southern baptist, I just never been to a southern baptist church yet. I was trying to explain that i have been to 3 different orders, and one was a Baptist church, but it was'nt southern Baptist.

[jesus is free]

I am Lutheran (missouri synod) and I know they will baptize your daughter no problem. Janelle is right though according to my catechism you may baptise her yourself.My husband is catholic and they would not baptize our son ( long story), so I know what you are going through.

[chris7360]

I am praying for your daughter and your search for a church home. I am sorry to hear that your dot has had ongoing health problems, but even sadder to think that you have had to go through this without a supportive and loving church family.

It also saddens me that so many give up on church because of imperfect people. I am not perfect, my church is not perfect, and my pastor (he'd say amen) is not perfect. We do worship and serve a PERFECT God, one who sent us his son because we are not perfect and need Him to save us from our imperfections. Yes we strive to be perfect in order to honor God, but so often we fall short.

My heartfelt prayer is that you will find the church where you belong and that your precious little one will be welcomed and cared for there!

[debbieemt]

I'm an ordained minister and I can help. If you live in the NJ, Southeastern PA or DE area, I will baptize your child. If you don't live in the above area, I can help you become legally ordained so that you may baptize your own child. Please contact me privately. My email address is in my profile. God bless you!

[janelle]

Ok, just hold on a minute. In case you are getting bad feelings about the Catholic church let me explain why they wouldn't baptize any and everyone that wants it.

If you are baptized in the Catholic church you will need to raise your daughter Catholic. Believe what Catholics believe and worship the way Catholics worship or at least have the intention to do so. If you told a priest you just want baptism no way would he do it.

For one thing if you receive communion in a Catholic church you will need to believe the host and wine is really the body and blood of Jesus. If you don't then it is sacriligious to receive it. Is is not like the bread and juice of other churches. It is to be handled reverently at all times. So if you didn't understand this you would be doing wrong and you don't have the understanding of the importance of it.

The priest isn't being mean, he would be wrong to baptize you into something you didn't understand, and he would be in danger of commiting a sin if he allowed you to be baptized into something you didn't understand.

You can come to any Catholic church and enter into studies to learn more about the church at any time. I helped with the RCIA on year. That is to help people learn more, accept, and want to follow the teachings of the church. They can drop out at any time if they have any misgivings. They even have steps that they ask the participants if they freely want to continue.

So this baptizing can be a very serious business. You don't want to join something until you know about it. If you are baptized into the Catholic church then you are a Catholic. That may not be what you want.

[kidzpca]

We are Lutheran...

I'm now searching for the right Church and hope to find it. In the meantime, Tiffany is working out what she wants since she is not at the age of True Freedom of Choice (she will be 12 in July).

[janelle]

Maybe that is your problem. Some Protestant churches won't baptize until a certain age. I don't know what they do with sick children that want to be baptized earlier. Like I said Catholics baptize all babies because we all come into the world with original sin on our souls--darn that Adam and Eve anyway. This washes us clean so we really don't need to know anything to have it done.

Then at the age of seven when the church says we know and have an understanding of sin we can receive the sacrament of reconcilation--confession and communion. All of these are sacraments that will help us in our spiritual growth.

Good luck in finding a church that can help you.

[justme23]

I grew up Southern Baptist, I was baptised when I was 9, because I wanted to turn my life over to God and make my mother proud and she was terminally ill, they allowed me to do it early. Honestly, I can say now that I really didn't understand what it meant, so I understand NOW why most churches generally want children to wait until they are of a certain age. However, it is to my understanding that you can baptize your daughter yourself... that the point is turning your life and soul over to your savior. I hope that you find a church home that you are happy to be a part of and they are happy to have you, regardless of whether you can be there ever sunday. I am appalled by what the pastor of your previous church told you, and quite frankly, attitudes like that (especially in the church I was raised in) are why I do not go to church at all now. I faithfully believe in the scripture that says 'if 2 or more ppl are gathered in my name, I will be there'... My husband and I 'go to church' all the time, if you whole heartedly believe in that verse.

[curlymae29]

Actually with the topic of discussion I thought you might have the impression that Southern Baptist either didn't baptise or maybe were hard nosed about baptism.

:)