so confused

[Angelbear3]

Most people that know me will remember the thread about 3 months ago where my boyfriend up and left me for another girl. Well, I haven't been online for a LONG time. I moved to Kentucky three weeks ago and started a new relationship with an old friend. Things are going great! He treats me like GOLD! So incredibly sweet...

Yesterday my ex calls me telling me how bad he knows he messed up.. he loves me.. he's sorry.. he wants me to go back to Florida. I told him I couldn't do that right now... it was a pretty heart wrenching three hour phone call. At the end, he told me he would call again in a month for my decision...

What do I do? I know the obvious choice is stay with the new guy.. give it a chance.. but it hurts so bad to just tell the other that I won't come back when we had so much of a past. On the other hand, I would be stupid to go back to what was turning in to a bad relationship when I could have something great here.

Why do ex's always pick the point where you're moving on to come back into your life?????

[Gitty]

"Why do ex's always pick the point where you're moving on to come back into your life?????" I think they do that, just to see if they still have it. It's like a ego booster for them. Like saying "I can treat her like crap and she still wants me, I am the man!" And that is the reason that they repeat their mistakes. IMO I would stay with the new guy and see what happens. Good Luck

[Lovely One]

Looks like you already have your mind made up. Good for you! :D

You can dedicate this song to your ex:

At first i was afraid i was petrified
Kept thinking i could never live without you by my side
But then i spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong
And i grew strong and i learned how to get along
And now your back, from outta space
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock i should have made you leave your key
If i'd have known for just one second you'd be back to bother me
Go on now go walk out the door
Just turn around now cuz your not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Did ya think i'd crumble
Did ya think i'd crumble did ya think id lay down and die
Oh no not i, i will survive
Oh as long as i know how to love i know ill stay alive
Ive got all my life to live ive got all my love to give
Ill survive i will survive hey hey
(music)
It took all the strength i had not to fall apart
And tried so hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
And i spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry, but now i hold my head up high
And you see me..somebody new,
Im not that chained up little person still in love with you
And so you felt like dropping in and just expect me to be free
But now im saving all my loving for someone whos loving me
Go on now go walk out the door
Just turn around now cuz your not welcome anymore
Werent you the one who tried to break me with goodbye
Did ya think id crumble did ya think id lay down and die
Oh no not i i will survive
Oh as long as i know how to love i know ill stay alive
Ive got all my life to live ive got all my love to give
Ill survive..i will survive ohh go on now go
Walk out the door just turn around now cuz your not welcome anymore

[DreamWarrior]

I would tell the ex where to shove it... he left you once for another woman, what makes you think he wouldnt do it again, seems to me he only wants you back because it suits him(and probaly bcuz she dumped him) If you are happy, stay where you are and build you NEW life :)

[Maggie02]

I don't think you are confused. I think you already know what the right thing to do it. You are a woman and as such come from strong stock. Go on and continue building your new life. You don't need anyone to disrespect you. You don't bring your trash back after having it dumped do you? Once you get rid of trash, you never look back. Go forward!

[smeans]

i dont have any advice just wanted to pop in and give you hugs and welcome you to the bluegrass state:D

((((Angelbear3))))

[feliciac]

He only wants you back because you have moved on. It's really that simple. And I realize you have a past, but that is all it is, a past. Why would you trade a good present and future for a not so good past(he did cheat on you)? I made the same type of choice not long ago and I know it isn't easy, but you have to go with what is good now not what was good in the past.

((((((((((angelbear))))))))))))

[girlwithsoul]

I think you already know what's right for you....listen to yourself and remember that the number ONE most important thing is that YOU are happy with YOU!!! Take care hon and WELCOME BACK!!!! I'm glad to see you're doing better!

[redrig]

He's the one that made the mistake, why should you give up what could be a wonderful thing for his being an idiot

those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

[Kelsey1224]

Don't you realize that your ex was getting off on the fact that it was a "heart wrenching three hour phone call". He now realizes that he can still push your buttons. What a tremendous power trip he must have had at your expense.

Tell him that while you obviously still care for him, you have finally moved on. I'd tell him that he hurt you terribly, but that you will no longer give him the power to do that again.

Then say 'GOODBYE' and hang up the phone!

[Angelbear3]

You're mostly right, I had already decided what I was going to do... it's just so hard to say it outloud. I wanted him back so bad and now that I could have him back... I don't really want him. I know in my heart (even if I don't want to admit it) that he only wants me right now because of what is going on in his life and after he made it through this rough patch, he'd up and leave again for what he thinks would be somebody better....

I told him when he left he lost the best thing that could have ever happened to him

[Widgetsx3]

Personally, I think those phone calls come as part of a "life test" The question is will you pass or fail....you know what the right thing to do is.....My motto...Don't throw good money after bad.

[tiffany21]

all I can say is take sometime and think about what he did he might do again.

[schsa]

Speaking from personal experience, don't go back. There are reasons why you broke up in the first place and those reasons have not been resolved. Without counselling before you go back, the reasons you broke up in the first place will be the reasons you break up the second time.

Keep going forwards. You know what the past was like now work on making a new future for yourself.

[Kelsey1224]

Originally posted by Angelbear3
I told him when he left he lost the best thing that could have ever happened to him

Way to go...you are so right. And unfortunately, he wasn't the best thing that could happen to you. Remember that. Remember the pain he caused you. Someone who could do that to you...without a second thought...will do it again.

Good luck!

[charlahinkle]

How the heck did you get him to give you a month?? Lol. My husband and I are currently in the process of a divorce because of another woman, when they are fighting he calls me and begs me to come back, I say no and within oh 24 hrs or so they are back together.. I'm at the point of just laughing about it but for the first two or three months it was horrible. I cried so much, and everytime he called I was wishing it was forever.. Unfortunately I realized that he wasn't wanting me, he was wanting sympathy. For my sake and the children's sakes I couldn't keep talking to him. Now it is only about the kids. HE tries to have more of a relationship than that, but I can't be friend and ex at the same time.. Learned the hard way it hurts worse.

Good luck sweetie. :)