need help fast esp if you live in Washington state

[Lilpetie]

ok my sis is 54 she has been trying for over a month to get things ready to leave her hubby. He is a control freak and plain out there hasnt been any relationship betweem them in over 10 yrs. She wants to make a life for herself. Well he has been going nuts. He is visited her lawyer, badgered her at work, followed her, then he hired a person to get all her emails. Well he accused her of having an affair which she isnt she had a guy friend at work that is giving her some support. He has drug her kids into this. He is trying his best to turn them against her. She never stooped that low in all the years he cheated on her. He has brain washed he against her family and even her own kids and she finally had had enough. Well last night he showed he 23 yr old son the emails and when she got home from work they ganged up on her. her son lives there (he is a bum)he became angry and then violent. He pushed her into a wall and started hitting her in the sides and face. the whole time hubby was agging this on. Boy what a man. he then said he he going to take the emails to her work and get her fired (which they wont do) Her son said Go ahead get her fired so she can live on the streets like the trash that she is. Her daughter also has been hounding her about breaking up the family. She is a spoiled daddys girl. they have sense kicked her out of her own house and refuse to let her get her own things out. She has a place rented thank god but nothing in it yet. Her employer has told the security if her hubby or son show up to call the police. She also has an appt with the women crisis center today. I am so worried about her I want to fly out there and give that son of hers a piece of MY mouth. I need to know about any web sites I can check into about the laws. They held her down at first and wouldnt let her leave to safety. Isnt this illegal entrapment. I told her she needs to press charges against them and get a restraining order. Which she is going to do today. I am sure they will trash all her stuff. Hubby also told her that he would put some lead in her and the guy. I told her she needs to call the police. I am so worried. She has been married to this guy for over 28 yrs and he is 10 years older than her but thinks he is such a stud. He has mental problems and I have told her this all along. He even said in front of the kids (23 and 27) that he would kill both of her cats to get even. ARGHHHHHHHH. Please any information will help. Thanks

[redrig]

not to sound petty, but maybe the local humane society or ASPCA would help get the cats out if they are still in the house? And if he does do anythig to them, press charges, some states have stiffened up their laws on cruelty to animals.

Hope your friend will stay strong, but from what you described, she might have to kiss her things she left behind goodbye.

[justme23]

http://www.ci.olympia.wa.us/Police/Victims/dvlaw.asp


That was really all I could find, but someone who lives there or knows better resources will come along shortly. My prayers go out to your sister and you!

[schsa]

The Women's shelter is the best place for her. Tell her to leave everything behind and don't go back. Things can be replaced but her life cannot. If she has an apartment, she needs to get a cell phone and not tell anyone where she lives or give out her phone number. She also needs to change her way home every day. Never take the same route twice. Her husband will find it harder to track her down.

She needs to get her name off of everything that is joint right from the begining and put her checking and savings account in a bank as far away as possible from where they have banked in the past. Convenience is not important at this time but safety is. And she needs to contact all of the credit card people and be sure that her name is off all of the cards. I hope that she has a car in her name.

Where is she in Washington State? That will help pinpoint places where she can get help. Also there is:
http://www.law.cornell.edu/topics/Table_Divorce.htm
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/divorcelaws/washington.shtml
http://www.betterdivorce.com/statelaws/statelaws.shtml

She's lucky. She can be out after 90 days and it's a community properly state which means that she's entitled to half of everything. She doesn't have to even think about the kids since they are of legal age and she doesn't have to have anything to do with them. She needs to keep a diary of all of the calls, e-mails, any damage done to any of her belongings and she needs to report all acts of violence against her to the police and have pictures taken as well as documentation from a doctor.

She is going to have a rough time for a while but she can get divorced and then she can worry about getting on with her life.

[Lilpetie]

thank you all. She has been to a lawyer she is also filing for bancruptcy. Hopefully she has her name off the credit cards but I think they were in her name only. She went to the bank and withdrew half (only 400) he has secretly been sending his mother money and she has been paying for everything. She found this out about 2 months ago. WHAT A JERK. HIs whole family is a bunch of low life bums that are always in trouble with the law. His own mother was an old drunk that married men for their money. She is now is senior living and expects my sisters hubby (her son) to pay for it so she can still spend her own money on things she wants. He has been doing this apparently. I have told her all the things about watching for him and never underestimate what he will do. She says no one knows where she is moving not even the kids. I cant believe her own kids have turned against her like this. they need to crap shook out of them. The car is in her name I believe not sure. But if that has to go back she said fine. It is a lease thing. I feel so bad for her and wish that I could just fly out there and be with her for moral support if nothing else. I know if I were there maybe those idiots would think twice about doing anything to her. He knows I dont care for him and never have. I dont even know my nephew that well only was around him when he was little so basically it is no skin off my back to tie into him. LOL. Besides he shouldnt have hit his own mother. He needs to go to jail for that. I dont know when I will be able to talk to her again. She is probably going to be hiding out. I am worried sick

[tmesser]

what part of washington does she live in? here in Spokane there are women's shelters and the womens crisis center. The police in this town will not tolerate domestic abuse. she needs to get ahold of the cops in her town and have something done about this low life scum. coming from experience (i was married to a wife beater 17 years ago he tried to kill me three times, two of them at work. lived in denver at the time and because i didn't have the restraing order on me at the time, it was at home two blocks away, they wouldn't do anything to him.) i hope she is safe. good luck to her

[miccit]

I am in Tacoma. The women's shelters here can help her. She needs to call the police and file a report on the abuse. They will not tolerate it at all (especially with all the stuff going on here right now). The women's shelters will help her contact the police. She also needs to tell her lawyer about the abuse.

Without knowing where she is I can't really give you phone numbers or anything.

[Lilpetie]

well she emailed me tonight and I guess she talked to her lawyer and they have a straining order out on hubby and son but she never did charge him with hitting her. I dont know why but I guess it is because it is her son. She lives in Lyndon which is northern Wash. She said they police let her gets her personals but she couldnt take anything out as far as furniture even tho most of it was gifts from former residents at the Senior Apartments she cleans for. Also gone was her computer. I bet her son took that and hid it as a way to try to get even. HAAAAA. How childish of a 23 yr old. huh. Her hubby told her he doesnt care if she lies in the street and rots. I told her who cares what he thinks. She said she cant get anything out until she pays $1000 retainer for a lawyer and she doesnt have it. I am going to try to see what I can get from various family to get it to her. I also told her to check into finding a lawyer that will make him pay for it. They threw her out of her own home after badgering her and hitting her. Her entire family ganged up on her. Now she is staying at her job sleeping on a couch. This is nuts. To top it off her darling kids are being so stupid. They are now emailing me over and over forwarding the emails she sent to another guy that is her friend. I guess they think this will make me change my mind. NOT.... She is my sister what she does in her personal life is her business. I wouldnt blame her is she had an affair the way he has treated her for over 20 years. Thank all