treasurymae
05-30-2003, 04:54 AM
Subject: The Stella Awards
It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella
awards.
The Stella's are named after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who spilled
coffee on herself and successfully sued Mcdonald's .
That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous
successful lawsuits in the United States. Unfortunately the most
recent lawsuit
implicating Mcdonald's, the teens who allege that eating at
Mcdonald's has
made them fat, was filed after the 2002 award voting was closed.
This suit will top the 2003 awards list without question.
5th place (Tied).
Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury
of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was
running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were
understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the
misbehaving toddler was Ms Robertson's Son.
5th place (Tied).
19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical
expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.
Mr Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of
the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.
5th place (Tied).
Terrence Dickson of Bristol Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had
just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get
the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was
malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door
connecting the house
and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family were on
vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8
days. He
subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog
food.
He sued the houseowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him
undue
mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000
4th place.
Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and
medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next
door neighbors Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's
fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt
the
dog might have been a little provoked at the time as Mr Williams who
had
climbed over the fence into the yard was shooting it repeatedly with
a
pellet gun.
3rd place.
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
Lancaster Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink
and broke coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because
Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during
an
argument.
2nd place.
Kara Walton of Claymont Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in
a neighbouring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the
floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst
Ms. Walton was trying to sneak out of the window in the Ladies
Room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000
and
dental expenses.
1st Place.
This year's runaway winner was Mr Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City
Oklahoma. Mr Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor Home.
On his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the
Freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee.
Not surprisingly the RV left the Freeway, crashed and overturned.
Mr.
Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him that in the owner's
manual that he
could not actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a
new Winnebago Motor Home. The company actually changed their
manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there were any other
complete
morons buying their recreation vehicles.
OH my gosh these are such stupid lawsuits and the people actually won. Why couldnt i be so lucky
It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella
awards.
The Stella's are named after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who spilled
coffee on herself and successfully sued Mcdonald's .
That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous
successful lawsuits in the United States. Unfortunately the most
recent lawsuit
implicating Mcdonald's, the teens who allege that eating at
Mcdonald's has
made them fat, was filed after the 2002 award voting was closed.
This suit will top the 2003 awards list without question.
5th place (Tied).
Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury
of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was
running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were
understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the
misbehaving toddler was Ms Robertson's Son.
5th place (Tied).
19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical
expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.
Mr Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of
the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.
5th place (Tied).
Terrence Dickson of Bristol Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had
just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get
the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was
malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door
connecting the house
and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family were on
vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8
days. He
subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog
food.
He sued the houseowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him
undue
mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000
4th place.
Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and
medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next
door neighbors Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's
fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt
the
dog might have been a little provoked at the time as Mr Williams who
had
climbed over the fence into the yard was shooting it repeatedly with
a
pellet gun.
3rd place.
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
Lancaster Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink
and broke coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because
Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during
an
argument.
2nd place.
Kara Walton of Claymont Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in
a neighbouring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the
floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst
Ms. Walton was trying to sneak out of the window in the Ladies
Room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000
and
dental expenses.
1st Place.
This year's runaway winner was Mr Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City
Oklahoma. Mr Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor Home.
On his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the
Freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee.
Not surprisingly the RV left the Freeway, crashed and overturned.
Mr.
Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him that in the owner's
manual that he
could not actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a
new Winnebago Motor Home. The company actually changed their
manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there were any other
complete
morons buying their recreation vehicles.
OH my gosh these are such stupid lawsuits and the people actually won. Why couldnt i be so lucky