Ugh...life sucks

[Rocket Cowgirl]

Never mind :rolleyes: I should have know everyone on here is all for the idea marriages are all holy and sacred. Well I don't believe that, call me a spoiled brat if you want but yes I want my happiness. If I think I know whats best for me then thats what I'll do. I didn't come hear for a lecture on the sanctity of marriages. To me a maggieage is just a piece of friggin paper. Love is a whole different thing. So I am offically killing this thread.

[Kyla Kym]

You won't like my opinion, but I think you need to leave him alone.

You said he barely will talk to you. He has a wife and kids. He married her for a reason. So I'm sure he loves her, even if they are having problems.

After 20 years of marriage I know you have your up's and downs. Sometimes you think you hate their guts, but then a month later your wondering how on earth you could ever live without them.

You said your married also. I say you work on your marriage rather than wondering how you can rekindle a old flame that has a family now.

[Sweetberries]

Kyla Kym
I agree

[Rocket Cowgirl]

:rolleyes:

[Kyla Kym]

It still doesn't make it right.

Way to many people take marriage to lightly nowadays. It's meant to be a life long union. You are suppose to become as one. Don't go and destroy what someone else has. It doesn't matter what his family thinks of her. That doesn't give you the right to cause them more problems.

And if she is as big a b*tch as you say she is, then she will more than likely make your life a living nightmare if you do cause them to get a divorce so you can be with him.

Also keep in mind that you will NEVER be completely rid of her. She will be a HUGE part of your life because they share a child.

Not to mention part of his income will be going to HER for child support. So that means if you end up marring him then part of your household income will be her's until the children are adults and you are a old lady.

If I was you I would stay far away from him as I could. There are plenty of single guys out there without all the baggage.

[lilbugger]

Im gonna have to agree with the other two. If it was way back in 95 and a year later you found out that he didnt have a girlfriend, why not try to go after him then? Before both of you ended up in and a unhappy marriage.

[Rocket Cowgirl]

:rolleyes:

[belle5691]

I hope all this works out the way that makes you happiest. :)

[cinnamonch]

Some things you need to consider.

1) Who is telling you he is unhappy with his wife? Are you reading more into what is being said just because you want him?

2)If this guy never talks or opens up, how in the world do you know what he feels for you?

3)If you decide to persue this situation and he breaks up, be prepared to be sued by the wife. If its determined that you are the reason they broke up, she can go after you for alienation of affection and it will cost you big time. Is he really worth that much?


IMO, you sound like a spoiled brat who doesnt care who gets hurt as long as you get your way. But remember, what goes around, comes around and its worse when it happens to you.

[wall flower]

I agree with the others...let it go...you say you need him if for nuthin else a freind...who are you kiddin...yourself only...I am not belittling you or coming down on you....but it would never work because you would slowly but surely want more....I know...I HAVE been through it...I know it's hard sunshine but hang in there....smile.....

[belle5691]

I USED to be one of those who thought marriage was all holy and sacred. But sometimes life has a way of changing your opinions. Now I think you have to make your own happiness and go into any situation with your eyes wide open.

[ckerr4]

ROTF, shouldn't have asked if you didn't want our opinions :rolleyes:

Yes, many of us here are married, and most of us here take our marriages seriously - that whole vow before God (for many of us), family and friends. For better and worse, 'til death do us part. I know that when I said it I meant it, and I would fight to the end for my marriage. It may not always be fun, but if you make a good decision, it's worth it. And quite frankly, most ladies here would not appreciate someone coming in from outside of the marriage to try and bust things up, for whatever reason. There's a saying: There's three sides - his, hers, and the truth. You may think you know what's going on, per this man, but there are things happening in a marriage that nobody but the two people in the marriage will ever know. That's the way it's supposed to be. If he's unhappy, he needs to work that out with his wife, not with another woman. If you're unhappy, the answer isn't taking away another woman's husband. Happiness isn't found in another person, but you sure can destroy someone's life. I hate it that you hurt so much, but don't hurt other people to make yourself feel better. You can't even imagine the pain you would be causing that family.

[Kelsey1224]

Originally posted by Rocket Cowgirl
Never mind :rolleyes: I should have know everyone on here is all for the idea marriages are all holy and sacred. Well I don't believe that, call me a spoiled brat if you want but yes I want my happiness. If I think I know whats best for me then thats what I'll do. I didn't come hear for a lecture on the sanctity of marriages. To me a maggieage is just a piece of friggin paper. Love is a whole different thing. So I am offically killing this thread.

It is obvious that you are distainful of marriage. Then why did you get married? And, while it may not be holy and sacred to you, it is at the minimum a "promise". Is your promise not worth anything?

And if you have no problem with making an empty promise, are you truly interested in a man whose word is also not worth anything?

I would not consider someone who put their own "happiness" above all else to be particularly honorable. I certainly deserve to spend my life with someone who is honorable and with whom I could trust.

However, obviously you don't feel that way and I feel sorry for you.

As for love... Well, if you are truly in love, then you should both leave your respective spouses, get divorced. And then, when a decent amount of time passes, you can reconnect with each other. But that would require maturity and restraint.

[kelblend]

Originally posted by Rocket Cowgirl
Never mind :rolleyes: I should have know everyone on here is all for the idea marriages are all holy and sacred. Well I don't believe that, call me a spoiled brat if you want but yes I want my happiness. If I think I know whats best for me then thats what I'll do. I didn't come hear for a lecture on the sanctity of marriages. To me a maggieage is just a piece of friggin paper. Love is a whole different thing. So I am offically killing this thread. :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[Talanco]

Hmmm my prediciton for your future if you get with this man and he leaves his wife for you..someone is going to come along and steal him away from you...and then you will be right back her whining about how WRONG it is and then my dear you can really say life sucks...because you will have tasted your own medicine!

[~MK~]

Originally posted by Talanco
Hmmm my prediciton for your future if you get with this man and he leaves his wife for you..someone is going to come along and steal him away from you...and then you will be right back her whining about how WRONG it is and then my dear you can really say life sucks...because you will have tasted your own medicine!

Yep, not to mention if someone was with HER hubby. Does anyone else get the feeling that if HE was doing this she would be crying for the WAAAAAAAAAMBULANCE?? And why post it if you didn't want to hear what others thought? You can't tell me that you actually thought people would AGREE with you, did you? :rolleyes:

http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/witch-broom.gif

[YYounghouse]

" If you want a man who would take a ring off his hand, then he
deserves you"

stay away from him
yuck.

[cinnamonch]

Only thing I can say is that you couldnt love him that much because if you did, you would the MRS now instead of standing on the outside looking in.

You might have the attitude/mentality that whatever you want, you will get but you dont have a clue as to who you will be dealing with when it comes to dealing with his wife. Just hope and pray she isn't like me because my motto is:

"Whats mine is mine" therefore if you try to take what belongs to me, you better have given your soul to God because your behind belongs to me.

[Kyla Kym]

Originally posted by freebiequeen1234
i didn't read your original post but i'm getting that he is married..you do not mess with married men!! There are plenty of men out there..you don't have to mess with one that is taken!! i don't think that many people would agree with you, JMHO

Here is her original post.


Ugh...life sucks
Sometimes my life feels like a dang soap opera. Way back in like 1995 I met a gorgeous guy through my sisters husband. We had alot in common and started dating. He was a few years older than me but I was always pretty mature for my age. He lived a couple hours ways so we didn't see each other much, but we talked on the phone alot. I hate my hometown and was always complaining to him about it. So he said to come visit him at his college. So I jumped on a greyhound bus and went to see him. We he picked me up from the station he casually mentioned something about a girl friend. I freaked silently to myself and decided to try and make the best of the trip. Things went ok, we hung out alot and he seemed happy to have me there. On the 2 or 3 night I couldn't sleep and went and layed on the couch. He was slepping on the floor in the bedroom so I could have his small twin bed, whata sweetie huh. After a few mins he comes out there and trys putting the moves on me, we had never had sex before and I was kinda nervous about the whole thing to begin with. But I told him that there was no way I would sleep with him after lying to me about having a girl friend. He said he understood and went back to bed. After another 2 days I could not take being around him any longer and left without telling him. That weekend after he got done with school he drove the 4+ hours to come see me. I gave him the cold shoulder and he left. I was so heartbroken I did not know what to to. We never spoke again until recently I finally called him. He is now married but his wife is a real *****, his family hates her and I can tell that he is not happy. But he is still upset with the way I left him. You see the reason for that is that I found out a year later that he never had a girl friend he was just scared because he was falling in love with me. I am so distraught over the fact that I didn't give him another chance. I was young and dumb at the time and didn't know a good thing if it bit me in the ass. Now I have tried to at least have a friendship with him as I really care alot about him and need him in my life even if just as a friend. But he knows that I am also married (unhapply) and I'm not sure if he is bothered by that. He also just had a baby with his wife and I've heard it might cause more problems in his life as his wife is not the motherly type. He does ALL the stuff around the house and works full time. I want to be there for him if he needs me but right now he will barely talk to me. How do I get him to forgive me without making him think I am trying to seduce him?

[schsa]

This is so simple. The two of you have a fantasy going about what it would be like if. And that is not reality. So right now you aren't happy with your marriage and right now he isn't happy. That doesn't mean that he will leave her and I don't see you saying that you are divorcing your husband.

He has obligations that you know nothing about. Just because he may flirt doesn't mean that he will leave her or that he is even thinking about it. So he complains. That also doesn't mean that he isn't happy in some way.

Either go back and work on your marriage or leave your husband and start over again. This guy is nothing more than a dream. You don't know him well enough to know what he is going to do. If you need to leave your marriage then do so and find someone who is available. Again, you are on the outside and you don't know enough about the marriage to even assume that he is interested in you for anything more than sex.

[Kelsey1224]

yep...what schsa said...

(But I don't think she is going to take any of our advice.)