should I just let it go?

[ladybugmo1]

A few days ago my son got in trouble at school. The principal said he kicked another boy. When I questioned my son I found out the other boy kicked him first. I know my son was not lying because this boy is twice his size and he has been afraid of him all year. ( yes I have spoken to the school about this. ) My problem is this. The principal decided my son needed to be sent home. ( not the other boy go figure ) I was talking to my mother on the phone and there is a knock on my door. It is the principal delivering my son to me. I do not feel it was approiate for her to be driving around with my child without my consent. If there had been an accident you can bet I would have sued her and the school district. I was too stunned to say anything at the time. Since then I have left several messages and she will not call me back. My question is this: should I call the superintendent or just let it go? A big part of me is really pi%%%d and part of me thinks I should let it go as there are only a couple of weeks of school left. Sorry this is so long. Any advice would be appreciated.

[annie169]

Um, your child was in another person's car w/o your permission?? He!! yea, I raised some cain. If there were an accident, I can't imagine what would happen.

[Sha]

Darn right you should call the super! They never called you and asked for permission to take him home? You know I would be calling and down at the school just for the fact that your son was punished and the other kid was not. MHO, is just because there is only a few weeks left of school, your child is going back in a few months...you need to straighten this principal out now, so things don't keep happening. Good Luck.

[lilbugger]

I sure would call the superintendent, the prinicpal had no reason to bring your child home. She should have called you, to pick him up. Yeap I sure would raise some he!! if that happen with my child.

[freebiegrl22]

You know, this just doesn't seem right. I have never heard of them not calling and telling a parent. I would be extremely upset...WHAT IF YOU WEREN'T home??? AND....what if there is something that someone isn't telling you? Maybe the boy that kicked him seriously threatened him or I don't know. I've just never heard of the principal actually taking a student home. I would be on the phone with the super immmediately.

[ladybugmo1]

She said she had tried to call and the phone was busy. I was talking with my mom out of state. However I was not on that long and it's not like it was an emergency. Also he will be going to jr high next year and we will no longer have to deal with her. I am kinda thinking the superintendent should be made aware because I am sure this goes against district policy. God forbid she should try this again and kill a child.

[freebiegrl22]

And what if you were talking to your mom and had to leave immediately after the phone call b/c something happened? Not an excuse at ALL. In my day, they made us sit in the office if we got in trouble, instead of sending for our parents. If you are sitting there all day and not allowed to do anything, its better than going home and going to your room with the tv, vcr, video games and even books...I would still be angry

[Shancopp]

What if your phone had been accidentally left off the hook? It would ring busy. She didn't know you were home for sure. If not, what would she have done then? I would be upset and call the superintendent. If this is ok per school policies, I'd be going to the school board meeting to get it changed! Good luck.

[Sha]

You know I was sitting here and thinking still about this...ok sure this guy/woman is a principal but do you REALLY want that person alone with your kid? I am not saying it happened here in this case, but you know I would also tell the Super "Hey, I did not give permission for my child to be ALONE in a car and outside of the school grounds with my kid. What if that person is a molester??"
Shake the ground a bit...I'm mad with ya now!!

[mlathroum]

I would be on the phone with the super. first thing tomorrow morning. If that doesn't work the news station would love a story like this and I would do it. My childrens safety comes first. That principal is not allowed to do anything but punish and call you. NEVER is a person allowed to take a child off school grounds. What if you had to go pick him for an emergency while she was on her way to your house. I would have considered that kidnapping. Removing him from school property without your permission. Fry Her!!


EDITED TO ADD Hubby is law enforcement. Asks "Why didn't she have the operator break in on the phone call?"

[miccit]

I am a school district employee in my children's district. In our state and in Ohio (these are the only two I have ever worked for) it is against the law to transport a student without prior parental SIGNED permission. I also know as a Girl Scout leader (and this is a national thing) we must have signed parental permission slips (preferably from both custodial parents) along with a health and history form and proof of our state patrol background check and auto insurance to transport a Girl Scout other than our own child.

I would call and raise all kinds of heck. She had no right to remove your child from school premises without prior written consent from either you or your husband. She also had no right to have him in her car. Call both the principal and the district. Keep notes of who you talk to and how it is handled. What she did in (my state and Ohio at least) is a fireable offense.

[LitWtch]

I believe it is against ANY districts policy for a person other than the emergency contacts listed in their records to be transporting a child in a private vehicle - insurance does not cover it.
I also work in my child's district, and know that I certainly would raise the devil had this been my child, even if it was my boss transporting her!
They could have waited to get you by phone and had your son sit in the office or nurses office. If the phone was busy, then you are obviously home.
Go see the Super, don't call.

[kelblend]

Originally posted by Sha
You know I was sitting here and thinking still about this...ok sure this guy/woman is a principal but do you REALLY want that person alone with your kid? I am not saying it happened here in this case, but you know I would also tell the Super "Hey, I did not give permission for my child to be ALONE in a car and outside of the school grounds with my kid. What if that person is a molester??"
Shake the ground a bit...I'm mad with ya now!!

I agree. Man this day and age and a principal taking UPON THEMSELVES to do that????? No, I wouldn't let it go. JMHO

[HumNbirdMO]

Just adding that I totally agree with everyone else....do NOT let it go, this, IMO, is an outrage!! The principal had absolutely no right to transport your child without your prior permission!! Gawd, WTH was this gal thinking??? Obviously she wasn't :rolleyes: . Yeah, I would most definetly go and rip her a new one (on both issues)!!!

Let us know what happens!!

[kimp67]

you've left several messages & she will not call you back??? WTH??? I would be AT that school!!!!!!!
By the way, how old is your son? Also, I would def. ask her why the other kid was not sent home?
Good luck & let us know what happens!!

[miccit]

Originally posted by Fireball
I don't think there's anything wrong with school officials driving students: school bus drivers do it, coaches do it when kids go to games, teachers do it for field trips. That isn't the issue.

Your frustration about the fight and your son being unfairly blamed is making you angry about something else that isn't really a problem.

I'd focus on getting the real story out so your son isn't blamed for starting the fight. THAT's the issue. Your credibility will be better if you focus on the real issue rather than making a fuss over who was driving.

Good luck.

In our state all school employees sign a code of conduct form. There is a booklet that goes along with this. In the booklet it states NO school employee district may transport a student without prior written consent from the parents. School buses are an exception as the parent knows the child will be on the bus. No teacher, administrator, counselor, nurse, whatever may transport a child without written permission (which is to be kept on file at the school). The district insurance just will not cover this. Teachers do not drive children on field trips, bus drivers do. And parents sign permission slips for these events. So, yes this is part of the issue. It as important as the fact that her son got into trouble for fighting and the other child didn't.

[justme23]

Originally posted by Fireball
I don't think there's anything wrong with school officials driving students: school bus drivers do it, coaches do it when kids go to games, teachers do it for field trips. That isn't the issue.

Your frustration about the fight and your son being unfairly blamed is making you angry about something else that isn't really a problem.

I'd focus on getting the real story out so your son isn't blamed for starting the fight. THAT's the issue. Your credibility will be better if you focus on the real issue rather than making a fuss over who was driving.

Good luck.


I always agree w/ everything you say, but on this, I do not. In the city I grew up in (way back when before there were sooo many rules to protect everyone) parents had to sign a consent form for them to be on a bus owned by the school. Also, in my school district, the teachers never drove us for field trips, we went on busses, same for out of town games, coaches never did it, we went on busses or our parents drove us. Anyone other than a legally and properly licensed bus driver was not allowed to drive us anywhere, even if we were just going from the field we (the band) marched on back to the school, which was a good 2 mile distance. They sent a bus. If they were 'on the clock' or representing themselves as school employees, it was NOT allowed, and it IS an issue.

I think you should be at the supers office immediately finding someone who would do something about this. I would not go so far as to say I think she should be fired, but she should be reprimanded and informed of the dangers and the consequences she would have to deal w/ should something have happened. I also think the boy who started the fight should be suspended for half a day as your son was, and I would definitely make a stink about that. I realize teachers go by 'what they see', but most of the time the wrong student deals w/ consequences they shouldn't have to deal w/ alone. Hitting by any child is wrong, and I understand he was only defending himself, but I do agree he should have been sent home... Violence is Violence, even in self defense, and kids should be taught other ways... but I do know from many of the vents here that they're told not to tattle as well, so I guess it's a catch 22. Either way, everyone should have to deal with the positive AND negative consequences to their actions.

[tsquared]

i agree with all the rest......however does a kick in the shin or lef warrant getting kicked out of school...and wouldn't the principal not investigate a little more on the other boy too.. surely a teacher saw what was happening. Not many times are kids out of the sight of a teacher or some adult figure. Something does not make sense here. Call the supeintendant to at least let them know you are concerned that the principal is not checking out things like they are suspossed to. The parent is the one that should be taking the child off the school grounds and not the principal.. Only is an emergency is any one else allowed to do this.

[ladybugmo1]

Well I spoke to the superintendent. I left a message and he called about 20 min later. During that time he had spoken to the principal. He agreed that it was inapproiate to take my son without my consent and stated it would not happen again with my son or anyone elses. He said that she told him she didn't want him to have to sit in the office for an hour and wanted to speak to me personally. I asked him if she had wanted to speak to me why she was unable to contact me after I had gone to the office and been leaving phone messages for a week. He said that she had not made him aware that I had been trying to contact her. He was floored about that. I'm sure she will be hearing from him about that one. I will be going to the school to speak to her this afternoon.

As to the poster who stated that coaches and the bus driver could take children and there was no diffrence. No coach would be allowed to take my child from primary school. Parents take their children to those activites. Yes my son does take the school bus ( he is special needs ) At the beginning of the year I need to fill out SEVERAL release and consent forms for him to do so. They even ask exactly who at my home the child can be released to. I do not believe it is the same thing at all. I'm sure they would not allow the bus driver to take my son in the middle of the day either.

[ladybugmo1]

I agree the blame issue is very important. However would you still believe the ride was just an act of kindness if my child had been killed in an accidrent?

[miccit]

Originally posted by ladybugmo1
I agree the blame issue is very important. However would you still believe the ride was just an act of kindness if my child had been killed in an accidrent?

That is the reason that no one is allowed to transport a child without written consent. As a matter of fact, we were discussing transportation at a meeting I was at this morning (we are working on field trips and how to handle when parents forget to pick up their kids from school). Our superintendent said that he knows of no school districts in the United States where teachers or administrators can transport a child without having a signed permission slip in the car with them. I personally feel that her taking your child from school without permission is just as important as your child being unfairly accused.

I am glad the superintendent is working all of this out for you. What are they going to do about the fact that he was accused unfairly? (((( ladybugmo1 )))))

[justme23]

How about another scenario... what if the person transporting your child was a molestor? I'm not saying the principle in this case is... but it's not unheard of... do you really want to risk your child being in that position? Aside from rules and regulations, there are a huge pile of what-ifs to contend with ALONG with the fact that her child was punished and the other child wasn't.