Big Bad Meanie

[LLFan]

Not unreasonable at all, though the reason: Self-explanatory may be for you but might not be so self evident to her.

Mike =)

[Ladytiger]

I was just told that I was the most awful mother anyone could ever have (must mean that I am doing my job right):-). Why am I so awful? I laid down the rules again, this time putting them in writing and making DD sign them. Are these rules so bad?:

1) phone is not allowed in her room , if he has a phone call and leaves the phone in her room, no more phone calls for the rest of evening.
**Reason: Leaving the cordless phone in your roomresults in me having to go in after you have fallen asleep and dig for the thing. Hearing it ring, you are no where around, we miss calls:mad:

2) You are to be ready for the bus at 7:20, not combing your hair, putting on makeup, etc. If you miss the bus again, grounded for that coming weekend.
**Reason: You have missed the bus 3 times last week, twice the week. I think the reason is obvious.

3) The stereo is a priveledge. I will tell you once to lower it, if it's not lowered, then it goes off for an hour. If there is a problem after that, off for the night. And so on.
** Reason: I am tired of the walls shaking, simply put.

4) One a week, you are to make a dinner-choose the menu, let me know what groceries you need. I will help you if needed.
Reason: We are a family, that means that you do your part as well. This will also help you gain confidence in cooking.

5) I am not a maid. If I come downstairs to a sink full of dishes, I will have you put them in the dishwasher. If friends are here, it doesn't matter.
**Reason: Self explanatory

6) Your room is to be clean. If something comes up, spending the night somewhere, going to the movies, etc..is only is your room is clean. If it's not, don't even ask if you can go, and don't tell me that you will have it clean in a few minutes.
**Reason: Your room is a death trap.

7) Ask me before going anywhere. If you do take off, or go somewhere other then where you said you will be, you will be grounded for the week.
**Reason: I have caught you too many times saying that you where going to a friend's house only to find you somewhere else. I need to where you are at all times.
**Reason: I will not go searching for you anymore.

8) No phone calls past 9:00 p.m. Any callers after that time will be told that you can only get calls until 9:00 p.m.
**Reason: self-explanatory

9) Do not try to badger me into buying/doing anything. It will just result in me just saying no, without even thinking about it, and/or saying no to anything after that.
**Reason: You will not try and bully me, it doesn't work.

10) Hands Off! If it's not yours, ask to borrow it first.
**Reason: Too many things have become lost or taken then broken.

11) Love is UNCONDITIONAL. It doesn't mean I will love you more if you do something, or love you less if you don't. The same should go for you, giving love that is. I am just trying to bring some peace.


Ok, so is the above that bad?? As you can see, I have just plain had it! The reasons are to head off the "whys", which also drive me insane:confused:

[sandytrap]

All of it sounds good..and make sure you tell her that I would have given anything for my mom to have made me make one meal a week. I have absolutely no confidence when it comes to cooking. I wish she had taught me how and then had me do it...just a thought!

[KimNRandy]

Your rules are just, fair and PERFECT! May I have permission to use on my kids if I am so blessed? (Trying for 2 years now and still nothin :( )

ANYWAY...Happy Mothers Day. You are obviously a great one! :)

[sharinbo]

Just out of curiosity, how old is she? <Dealing with some teenagers myself who would benefit from this set of rules, or most of them, anyway>

[sharinbo]

Ahhh..thank you... Matt will be 13 in August, Gabe will be 15 in August. IF I let them live that long! LOL

[Bick'sMom]

I am thinking of printing this and making my 13 year old monster....er, um, DD sign it! ;) I love her to death but she is making me nuts. Everything I say to her I get a "yeah, in a minute". That drives me up the wall.

[okie]

It sounds good to me.I'll have to remember this when my son gets older.

[mlathroum]

#1 rule in my parents house was Where are you going, Who will you be with, When will you be back(when younger it better be before 9pm), is there a phone were you will be? Give me the number.

#2 you have a curfew. Abuse it and you will be punised.
#3 The dishes are your. Wash them, dry them, put them away.

My Mom was a SAHM. SHe did everything else the house and family needed. You better live up to your end or beware.

My boys are 8 and almost 5. I plan on having the same rules for them. I have already started with the 8 year old. If he wants to trash his room he will have nothing. I am not a maid. I warned him if he didn't clean his room tonight I would be in there first thing tommorrow with a trash bag and a screw driver to taking everything apart. The Floor would not be to comfortable. He also like to turn the music up loud. I ask once for it to be turned down. After that I take the electric plug for a week. May sound rough for an 8 year old but he backtalks me left and right. This is the only way I get through to him.

[Widgetsx3]

Sounds fair to me....then, when the screw up (and they WILL) you have it signed!

[mesue]

Believe it or not they do grow up and look back and say, Thank You! Mine told me I was horrible and all that but recently said Thank You Mom & Dad.

[Ladytiger]

Whoa!! I love this board!LOL..I guess I'm not a meanie after all. I grew up with the opposite, WAY too many boundaries-my mother was jealous of my youth (she told me this, now it makes sense). I am reading a wonderful book called:
Parents, Teens and Boundaries How to Draw the Line by Jane Bluestein, Ph.D
If any of you need some help, I can try to help you with what I ahve learned and am still learning. main thing to remember, is that you cannot be their friend and mother right now-they will only take advantage of the "friend" part when it's time to "mother". Hope that makes sense. It's worked with me now.
Any of you that wants to copy this, feel free to do so, you don't have to pm me:D

[miccit]

[6) Your room is to be clean. If something comes up, spending the night somewhere, going to the movies, etc..is only is your room is clean. If it's not, don't even ask if you can go, and don't tell me that you will have it clean in a few minutes.
**Reason: Your room is a death trap!

****************by Ladytiger



Have you been in my house?:eek: That so describes my daughters's room.

[justme23]

Originally posted by Ladytiger
I was just told that I was the most awful mother anyone could ever have (must mean that I am doing my job right):-). Why am I so awful? I laid down the rules again, this time putting them in writing and making DD sign them. Are these rules so bad?:

1) phone is not allowed in her room , if he has a phone call and leaves the phone in her room, no more phone calls for the rest of evening.
**Reason: Leaving the cordless phone in your roomresults in me having to go in after you have fallen asleep and dig for the thing. Hearing it ring, you are no where around, we miss calls:mad:

2) You are to be ready for the bus at 7:20, not combing your hair, putting on makeup, etc. If you miss the bus again, grounded for that coming weekend.
**Reason: You have missed the bus 3 times last week, twice the week. I think the reason is obvious.

3) The stereo is a priveledge. I will tell you once to lower it, if it's not lowered, then it goes off for an hour. If there is a problem after that, off for the night. And so on.
** Reason: I am tired of the walls shaking, simply put.

4) One a week, you are to make a dinner-choose the menu, let me know what groceries you need. I will help you if needed.
Reason: We are a family, that means that you do your part as well. This will also help you gain confidence in cooking.

5) I am not a maid. If I come downstairs to a sink full of dishes, I will have you put them in the dishwasher. If friends are here, it doesn't matter.
**Reason: Self explanatory

6) Your room is to be clean. If something comes up, spending the night somewhere, going to the movies, etc..is only is your room is clean. If it's not, don't even ask if you can go, and don't tell me that you will have it clean in a few minutes.
**Reason: Your room is a death trap.

7) Ask me before going anywhere. If you do take off, or go somewhere other then where you said you will be, you will be grounded for the week.
**Reason: I have caught you too many times saying that you where going to a friend's house only to find you somewhere else. I need to where you are at all times.
**Reason: I will not go searching for you anymore.

8) No phone calls past 9:00 p.m. Any callers after that time will be told that you can only get calls until 9:00 p.m.
**Reason: self-explanatory

9) Do not try to badger me into buying/doing anything. It will just result in me just saying no, without even thinking about it, and/or saying no to anything after that.
**Reason: You will not try and bully me, it doesn't work.

10) Hands Off! If it's not yours, ask to borrow it first.
**Reason: Too many things have become lost or taken then broken.

11) Love is UNCONDITIONAL. It doesn't mean I will love you more if you do something, or love you less if you don't. The same should go for you, giving love that is. I am just trying to bring some peace.


Ok, so is the above that bad?? As you can see, I have just plain had it! The reasons are to head off the "whys", which also drive me insane:confused:


I personally would only have a problem w/ one. And I'd use my reasoning as a reason you gave for a different rule.


Rule:
5) I am not a maid. If I come downstairs to a sink full of dishes, I will have you put them in the dishwasher. If friends are here, it doesn't matter.
**Reason: Self explanatory

Arguement: Reason: We are a family, that means that you do your part as well.

Everyone should have a dish night. Not just the kids. I *personally* have a problem w/ kids doing dishes daily cause my dead beat sperm donor made me do them daily w/out the luxury of a dishwasher (except me) since I was 7... buuuuuut, one can't claim being a family and all doing their part about things such as cooking in one rule, then saying I'm not a maid and the dishes are your responsibility in the next breathe. Just my opinion and it really doesn't mean that much to most. :) Other than that I think the rules are pretty good for a teenager.

[Ladytiger]

Justme23-that only pertains to dishes that she herself makes. I am forever keeping the sink clean. Ya know, comes home from school, amkes something, then leaves the mess. That is what I am talking about-and that is exactly what I explained to her, that we are a team.:p

[justme23]

Originally posted by Ladytiger
Justme23-that only pertains to dishes that she herself makes. I am forever keeping the sink clean. Ya know, comes home from school, amkes something, then leaves the mess. That is what I am talking about-and that is exactly what I explained to her, that we are a team.:p

Sorry, that wasn't clear, so didn't know. I get it now!

[Blackerose]

My son is 14, and I have set similar rules and I always hear how I am so much meaner that his friends' moms. I also hear how helpful my son is when he is over his friends houses; how he does things like clear the table and help with taking out the trash. It's like pulling teeth to get him to do this here.

[adair]

Originally posted by Marinafk
My son is 14, and I have set similar rules and I always hear how I am so much meaner that his friends' moms. I also hear how helpful my son is when he is over his friends houses; how he does things like clear the table and help with taking out the trash. It's like pulling teeth to get him to do this here.

LOL...I had the same problem with my son. I was always after him to do things here and it was like pulling teeth also....but I would always receive wonderful compliments from other mothers wanting to know how I had managed to teach my son such nice manners and to be so helpful. http://www.smilies.okipages.com/s/otn/angels/newangel.gif