Can I just "kill" her?

[Cowgirlie_in_Tennessee]

I admit it, my Best Friend has changed a LOT since High School...she is 2 years younger than me and the ol' girl doesn't have a clue. ;) She has had so many medical problems lately, and I feel for her but she is the most irresponsible person. She is getting $500 for Workman's Comp. but yet she can't afford her bills so she is back living with her Mom. She just had Cubital Tunnel surgery (the nerve in her elbow was crushed in between her bones, they dug the nerve out and placed it in between the muscles in her arm to protect it). She gets this money and blows it, she kicked out her roommate...and lord knows who she is "dating" now. I've heard it all in the last year... married men, men who abuse her, etc. :eek: :rolleyes: :mad: I'm IMing her as I type this... I feel so bad for her...she's back to dating the married guy with kids. :eek: Oh never mind, he's divorced "again". :rolleyes:

I just feel so bad for her, she is like my sister- but just so unhappy with her life that she makes these mistakes. So could some of ya'll maybe send her some kind words/paper cards to let her know she is such a great person and that I love her so much. Sometimes I don't think she realizes how special she is.

Email me: [email protected] or IM here if you want to help. :D
TIA

[mesue]

I know how you feel my best friend for close to 30 years married a man she had known before he got himself sent to prison, he manipulated her lied to her threatened her life and all this was before she married him while in prison, now he's out still threatening her and manipulating her threatenig to kill members of her family and her friends I had to back totally away from her due to worries about my safety and my family's safety, this man is crazy but she makes excuses and stays with him. It sounds like your friend is self destructive as well, I hope she wakes up soon to what she is doing to herself. Good Luck!

[Cowgirlie_in_Tennessee]

Yeah, she is very self-destructive. She does not understand how beautiful she is... she is so pretty inside and out, but she is a fairly fluffy girl and was always picked on in HS for it. :mad: I mean outside of our HS, she could get all kinds of guys to pay attention and date her, we both could...but she was so focused on what people thought about her. Her "dad"- he adopted her- and he is very abusive to her verbally and to her Mama (who is alway gorgeous and fluffy). We used to make "fun" of her Dad and call him "Studly". LOL!
Once I moved down here, she lost touch with me for a few years :eek: and we just connected again a little over a year ago. So much as changed...she started doing pot, smoking, drinking and being a hoochie-mama. :rolleyes: Well, then she had some BIG medical scares, they thought she had brain cancer, etc. She is ok now for the most part...but she's been laid off... just had that surgery on her arm, has had head surgery, foot/ankle surgery as well. Workman's Comp was a b!tch to get as well. It's just a mess...and she's made some bad choices but she's my girl and I love her. :eek: :D ;) I can honestly say that would die for her.

[mesue]

All that medical stuff does not help ones self esteem and then workmans comp denying and delaying one can't help but take it personal even though you know its just the system. I hope it works out for her, my friend is totally different she is an older lady with a younger man who is just such a nutcase and now I truly believe she is as sick as he is, shes been manipulated to the point to where she truly believes she has no control over her life, he has threatened her sons and her father, he offered someone money to hurt one of her sons really bad his words to this person was F him up for life. As it turned out the person he was trying to hire to hurt my friends son was a friend to this same son and came and told him that his Mom's husband was putting a contract out on him not for his death but for bodily harm beyond repair and she still stays with this monster knowing this. He once left her to go to another womans bed because she refused to take part in beastiality. And she still followed begging for him to come back to her. Like you I would still be there for my friend but this man thinks that every man she is in a room with is making advances toward her. I have a son and a husband and if she came here he would be threatening to kill them like he is her sons and father and another friend's son who tried to help her but theres just no help for her until she learns to value herself and family more than this monster. Your friend hopefully will wake up soon and realize that she is worth a great deal more than she thinks, she must be to have a friend in her corner like you.

[Cowgirlie_in_Tennessee]

Originally posted by mesue
All that medical stuff does not help ones self esteem and then workmans comp denying and delaying one can't help but take it personal even though you know its just the system. I hope it works out for her, my friend is totally different she is an older lady with a younger man who is just such a nutcase and now I truly believe she is as sick as he is, shes been manipulated to the point to where she truly believes she has no control over her life, he has threatened her sons and her father, he offered someone money to hurt one of her sons really bad his words to this person was F him up for life. As it turned out the person he was trying to hire to hurt my friends son was a friend to this same son and came and told him that his Mom's husband was putting a contract out on him not for his death but for bodily harm beyond repair and she still stays with this monster knowing this. He once left her to go to another womans bed because she refused to take part in beastiality. And she still followed begging for him to come back to her. Like you I would still be there for my friend but this man thinks that every man she is in a room with is making advances toward her. I have a son and a husband and if she came here he would be threatening to kill them like he is her sons and father and another friend's son who tried to help her but theres just no help for her until she learns to value herself and family more than this monster. Your friend hopefully will wake up soon and realize that she is worth a great deal more than she thinks, she must be to have a friend in her corner like you.

NOW THAT IS JUST CRAZY! Brandy is getting there... just need to kick her in the butt once in a while to get back on the straight and narrow. Found out last night that she is not drinking as much anymore, that she hasn't smoked weed in 2 or 3 months and something else... so those are big steps for her. :D
I *know* she feels like she's worthless but I keep telling her how great she is. We had a great conversation last night, just reminising (sp?) about HS and all the "adventures" we have had...I still laugh thinking about it. :D

All I can tell you to do is be there for her, pray for her (or whatever it is you do) when you can't talk to her...because someone having faith in her might be all she has left right now- that's the case with my friend.

I'm in Tennessee, she's in Illinois...the computer is all we have other than paper cards...and that's what sucks the most about this situation.

[Willow]

I'm sorry your friend is going through all of this. She seems like she's a little mixed up. All you can really do is just be there for her. A lot of people have to learn from their own mistakes. You can talk to them until you're blue in the face but they need to find things out on their own. She's lucky to have you for a friend. :)