Really Big Whine And Vent!

[lisahiser]

My whole life I have been everyone's best friend, I have helped everyone out even when I really couldn't, I have been there to hold everyone threw their worst days of their lives, I have given my shoulders to those who needed to cry,and been there for happiest days of their lives, and I have been there for the BLAH days and I have loved every minute of it. For some reason I have been the one that everyone has seen as the "strong one" and able to stand on her own two feet. But when I end up having to go threw the worst parts of my life....... I just want to know one thing! WHERE THE HECK IS ANYONE WHEN I NEED THEM???????? All I want to do is cry!!!! I know this sounds petty! but my life is going down hill just when I thought that maybe I might be able to actually get threw it on my own, and now I just want someone to talk to, someone to tell me that everything will be ok and that I will be able to make it threw this... I try to keep telling myself this but I just want to hear someone else say this to me, to let me know that I have some support out there.. I wanna be the one who is able to cry for once. and when I need this...... NO one wants to listen or just looks at me and says I don't know what to tell you..... and this includes my family!
Is It Too Much To Ask For Someone To Let Me Lean On Them For ONCE??????? :( :( :(


No need to respond...... I just had to get this out!!!!
I hope that everyone else's lives are going better than mine is right now! (((((HUGS)))))))

[midniteblu2]

Not really sure what is going on in your life. You need to believe in you and if you think you can get through this you can & you will.
Doesn't it amaze you that you lend your shoulder out to be cried on all of the time & all you get in return is a wet shirt???
{{lisahiser}}

[DreamWarrior]

hey sweety, if you want you can email me... my addy is in my sig line... I will try to help any way I can :)

{{{{{{{lisahiser}}}}}}}

[Crick]

{{{{{{Lisahiser}}}}}...Things do get better. You have many friends here and we all are willing to listen. Sorry you're having such a rough time.

[wingsfan]

{{{{{lisa}}}}}

I feel the same way you do ALOT! IM me if you want to talk...or send me an email wingsfan's email ([email protected])

[kelblend]

Hey Lisa- It will be okay!!!!! NO, I don't know what you are going through, but it will be okay!!

(((lisa))) :0)

[lisahiser]

Thank you guys so much...... just a little (or maybe long) review of what has been going on in my life for the past 2 years, over a year ago, hubby and I were going to get divorced, I ended up going back over a ton of sweet talking and false promises...... You know that one last glimmer of hope that things will work out.. well anyways since I have been back of course not one thing has even changed, The emotional abuse had gotten even worse, the promises of going to counseling.. YAH RIGHT! he says that things are fine the way they are and if I don't like it then I know where the door is! and about 4 months ago I said enough is enough, I can't do this anymore, I cannot put my kids threw this any longer, ( it was always so hard to explain to them why mommy is crying) So anyways, I thought that maybe I would be able to find a place to stay before Easter and all.... Well no luck, still no luck, And Easter was sooooo bad that I ended up staying at my moms for that weekend just so that the kids would be able to have a decent Easter. Well my parents really didn't want me to stay cuz they have their own problems to deal with, so no biggy I understand, Plus none of us have been really close to begin with. So, I go back home, tell my hubby what I plan on doing and of course even more emotional abuse, he has even gone so far as to have someone drive by the house to see who is at my house at all hours of the night, I know this because I chased down and confronted one person on the issue. I have had a few friends over and such, here and there, but then again before I said that things were going to end these people ALWAYS came over, well now he has chased them off because no one wants to get in the middle of this mess, and can I Blame them.. HECK NO!!! I do have the money and means to get a place, but no one has ANYTHING right now, I am on a TON of waiting lists for apartments, I have checked every house that is for rent in the area and either A. I can't afford the place or B. it is already rented out when I find the ad! and today of all days, I get my butt jumped because I was nice enough to kitty sit a friends kitty because they were working a double, they just got the kitty and didn't want her to be left home alone, with no one to feed her and such, and I don' have a car, so I volunteered to let her stay her for the night and the rest of today. Like he has to take care of the kitty anyways! SO of course that blows into everything under the sun, and he lays this guilt trip on me, about how I am ruining his life and makeing things hard for him and that I have some nerve to just expect that the kids are going with me when I leave. SO, when I call to vent to anyone while any of this is going on, everyone is just too busy to listen or even wants to, or doesn't even listen ( you know what I mean that half listening conversation, then they say well I just don't know what to tell ya!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!) I just don't know anymore.. I know that as soon as I get the heck out of here, that things will improve, I can handle taking care of the kids and working and all that because I have done it all these years......
All I just wanted was a shoulder to cry on, and like midniteblu2 said, all I get in return is a wet shirt. I started to feel better once I got all this out.

So there it is! My so called Life! - lol Thanks for listening..

[Sha]

(((((((Lisahiser)))))))) Oh My, do we have the same network of friends?? I am also that one that will carry everyone and try to make everything all better for everyone. My home and my heart are always open for the ones I consider family and friends. I have sacraficed so much of myself for years for people. I have given and given and always lived by the motto "We are ultimately judged by what we give, not by what we get." My great grandma preached that to me day in and day out and I have always lived by that. Well since last year I have been battling a brain tumor and was on Chemo for a short while (some may remember my vent) and do you think ANYONE came to help me or anything??? NO! Everyone only called with thier problems and needing MY help. I even got b*tched out by a friend that called all upset and I had to tell her I would call her back in a few..she says "JESH! What is up? I need to talk to you!" I told her well please excuse me but I have to go throw up from my CHEMO treatment! EXCUSE ME! I am so sorry to ramble...I am mad for you too! If you ever need to talk please PM me and I would love to listen and help you out if I could. This place is a great place for support! Don't forget though, your a good person and don't let this discourage you and change you. Just toughen up a little and voice your opinion about how you feel. That is what everyone here taught me and it worked. Hoping for the best for ya...

[schsa]

The problem with being a good listener is that no one listens when you need to be heard. I have always been a good listener. But I finally had to put my foot down with some of my friends and tell them to be quiet and listen to me for a change. And some people don't want to listen. They just want to ramble on and on about how their life is hell and they really don't have anything to give back. So you end up completely drained.

Lisa, keep looking for an apartment. One will open up for you especially this time of year when people move. Secondly, tells your friends that they need to be a good listener for a change. That you really do need someone to hear you vent for a change.

Finally, always do what works best for you and your kids. If your husband wants the kids so badly let him take you to court and fight you for custody. Chances are he won't and he will end up paying support anyway.

Yes, you are allowed to lean on people. But you also have to learn that in the end you are on your own.

[BeanieLuvR]

{{{{lisahiser}}}} My shoulders are very leanable. I hope and pray that you can get out of that abusive situation soon. I am really sorry that your friends and family have let you down. ((((HUGS))) PM me if there is anything at all that I can do to help.

[mrs.john]

{{{Lisa}}}

[FireFox1973]

(((((LISA)))))

I divorced my first husband for emotional abuse, etc. I stayed for almost 10 years and it was hell to make the decision to leave. I walked out while I was on disability with the clothes on my back, and hopped around from place to place until he moved out of my (Yes, my) apartment 4 months later. I had all my friends at the firehouse, and I moved in with a 71 year old widower for three month. I was lucky. He treated me like a daughter and we both needed someone else to talk to.
Please know you have your friends at BBS. You can always PM me.
Keep your tits up, things will get better.

[MsPiggy44]

Lisa,
I wished that I was closer to ya and you could lean your head on my shoulder and cry your eyes out. It will be alright just look at this network of friends you got.

HUGS TO YOU SWEETIE......

[lisahiser]

Thank you all so much for the kind words and advice! I was just so down in the dumps today that I felt like the world was just standing still and I was the only one spinning around!! I did have a couple friends come over today to WHINE at me about somethings and I just flat out told them that I could NOT give anyone any help right now because I need to help ME right now. Well I guess that got their attention, and they finally asked what was wrong, and I was given some support from them, which I told them that I really needed them right now, so I got to cry a little, but....... I think I am going to ask hubby to leave, I have been sitting here all day wondering what is going to happen next with him and I haven't been able to eat or think strait. He does have a place to go and all the support in the world from mommy and daddy, I just don't feel that it is fair that I have to leave our house when he has everything he needs... just 5 hours away. I just remembered too that he told me that he hopes that I fail on leaving and end up having to ask him for help! WHATEVER!!! UGH!!!!! I called a few of the apartment places today, but the earliest they say I MIGHT be able to get in is in 2 weeks! I don't know if I can handle being here that long, 2 weeks seems like forever right now! But I am gonna take what I can get, even it means staying here with him until then.

(((((HUGS))))) back at all of you!

[cherish328]

Sorry to hear about your family problems....But I as well, know all about being everyones shoulder to cry on. I think that I have pretty much stopped that though. I promise things will get better. You just keep on looking for a place to move to....

[mlathroum]

(((((((((((lisahiser)))))))))

[mom4angels]

((((lisahiser)))))

I have been in your shoes with an abuser. You made the first step to leave that is the biggest one. I am gald for you to have found the strength to have made that decision. I really hope that you find an apartment really soon. Let the jerk you are married to know that you definitely do not need him for anything. That you are a strong person that doesn't need him and yes the kids are going with you period. Like I said you made the one major decision to leave and once you find a place it will be like a weight lift off your shoulders. You can make it through this and everything will be alright, when you start a new life for yourself.

[eeigh33]

lisa...i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers in hopes that you will find a new place to go. i am sorry you are going through this, but you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and sound very strong. we are all here for you when you need to let it out. i hope things work in your favor soon and that you can start getting back to being happy and start a new life with your kids.