She Practically Plans it Now She Wants an Abortion!?!?!

[Candice]

Someone very close to me (I promised I wouldn't tell anybody... and I think you all count as anybody's so, I'm not saying who) was pretty much planning on getting pregnant with her second child. Her and her boyfriend both wanted a little girl, so... the first month, she wasn't preg. and she was a little upset about it, the next month she was more upset... and now she's pregnant and wants to have an abortion!! :mad: I'm so upset about this! And this isn't her first abortion! This will be her 3rd abortion! :mad: OMG, it makes me so mad! How could she do that!? She said she wasn't going to tell me because she didn't want me to try and change her mind. And ya know, I'm not... I don't know if I should or not... but I'm not. When she had her first one I tried but it just made us fight and the second time, she didn't even tell me until 2-3 months later. Today we were at the mall looking at stuff for my itty bitty and we were looking at all these little outfits and she kept saying, "Can we look at something else?" It was hard for her to be there... so I don't know if she's really sure or not. She says she's scared... but who isn't scared when they find out they're pregnant!? I was terrified but I didn't go have an abortion!! If you don't want a baby, keep your legs closed!! :mad:

Thanks for listening... :)

[Cowgirlie_in_Tennessee]

Oh, do you know my cousin? :rolleyes: My cousin has had 3 abortions (maybe more, we're not sure), put 1 up for adoption (her name is/was Ashley), gave one away to the Dad because he has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, and has one that is a lying, thieving brat... My cousin is in her mid-30's and had been having abortions and such since she was like 16 or so. :eek:
Then there's the cousin (her sister) who got preggo with the first one to prove to an ex-boyfriend that she could move on in life...and now she's got another one with an Army guy- but I think they are getting married or have gotten married.

[IFeelLucky]

Sounds like she dont know what she wants, poor thing!I agree on closing legs, mines been closed for decades now. Just stick by her side thats all you can do.

[Talanco]

There are people out there that want kids and cant hvae them and she is going throw one away because she changed her mind??? After she does..do me a favor..rip out her uterus!

[Cowgirlie_in_Tennessee]

Can we do that to the girl I've been talking about in my threads?

[Candice]

Originally posted by IFeelLucky
Sounds like she dont know what she wants, poor thing!I agree on closing legs, mines been closed for decades now. Just stick by her side thats all you can do.

I know, I'm trying to be there and support her but it's hard when I feel she's doing the wrong thing. I feel like I should just support whatever decision she makes but... then I feel awful doing that because I'm so against it!

[memphistn]

I know I might get flamed for this, but I am going to say, I think it is harsh that ppl were so judgemental against that poor mixed up girl, one person said,if you dont want babies, dont open your legs. I think that is a HORRIBLE statement, until you have walked a mile in her shoes, I dont think that you or I have a right to say what is right and wrong.

At the same time, abortion is not a form of birth control, and ppl use it too much, but in certain situations I am pro choice.....

Anyways, I think she should have kept this situation to herself, she has to make the descision and live with it.

[mlathroum]

I have never been in this situation but can I ask a couple of questions? How old is she? Does she live on her own or with her parents? Is she being "forced" to do this? Can you sit her down and ask if someone else(with out asking names or wanting them) is telling her to do this?
It sounds to me like she wants it. When you said ""she planned it"" and now ""she didn't want to look at the baby clothes"". It really gives me the impression that she would keep it if it was up to her. I could be wrong. But maybe she does want you to talk her out of it this time.

[MommyG3]

*******runs out of thread screaming************

[ahippiechic]

I am pro-choice, but it's upsetting to see that a lot of women use it almost as a form of birth control. :( I don't have any advice for you. If it's possible for you, tell her how you feel about it, then just be there for her, whatever decision she makes. It's hard to know what's right for someone else, unless you are in their shoes.

[momfromTN]

I am not going to comment a lot because of my beliefs and I do not want to get flamed or banned. However, your friend has some major problems and needs psychological help. Seriously.

[schsa]

She needs some serious mental health help. I don't know why she is doing what she is doing but there is something basically wrong with her thinking processes. Abortion should not be used as a form of birth control when you have "planned" for a baby. I feel very sorry for her. She needs some serious counselling.

[Candice]

Originally posted by mlathroum
I have never been in this situation but can I ask a couple of questions? How old is she? Does she live on her own or with her parents? Is she being "forced" to do this? Can you sit her down and ask if someone else(with out asking names or wanting them) is telling her to do this?
It sounds to me like she wants it. When you said ""she planned it"" and now ""she didn't want to look at the baby clothes"". It really gives me the impression that she would keep it if it was up to her. I could be wrong. But maybe she does want you to talk her out of it this time.

She's 24, she lives at home with her parents... and as far as I know, she's not being forced. Only her, him and his family and me know...and from what I understand, he wants the baby.

[lilbugger]

Im not being mean or anything but, I could see if this was her first time and she was young or for a medical, or something else, but not for the simple reason she just dont want the baby. Come on she 24years old and she has done it before. And if the father wants the baby then, I would think he should have a say in it all too. It shouldnt just be up to her. There too many people out there cant have a baby, and people other then your friend that can and just dont want them how :( JMO.

[mlathroum]

I thought if the father wanted the baby she couldn't abort. I am also prochoice but something still doesn't seem right about this. First she wants it and now even though he does she doesn't know.

[stresseater]

I thought if the father wanted the baby she couldn't abort. I am also prochoice but something still doesn't seem right about this.
No, unfortunatly the father doesn't get a say in the matter. I think he should there would be a lot less needless death of babies if they did get a say.

if you dont want babies, dont open your legs. I think that is a HORRIBLE statement, until you have walked a mile in her shoes
I don't think it is a horrible statement. It boils down to responsibility.This doesn't seem to be a case of rape or incest but a case of someone who doesn't want to own up to the responsibility of her actions. Anyone who made it past the 4th grade in public schools knows what causes pregnancy. It's like the person who knocks back 10 shots and then drives home only to kill someone. They have to own up to the fact that they are taking a life and so must your friend. If she doesn't want a kid keeping her legs closed would be a good start.:( :( :(
I am truely sorry that you have to go thru something like this and can only magine how it tears you up inside. Please don't let it because there isn't anything you can do to stop it. It's not worth you stressing out over...if you can't controll something you have to let it go.