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View Full Version : Why cant I have a man like this?



bruiser
05-02-2003, 09:35 PM
Ok..
I thought this was as appropriate place to whine about this. I know some of you will say "Oh, well MY man is already like that" , but I think most of you will understand why I feel how I do.
This is simply part of an email. My ex boyfriend from high school emailed me through Classmates.com. No biggie, he is married and has 5 kids. We were emailing back and forth and I was telling him a bit about my situation-living w/ ex husband and not knowing where our relationship is going, and whats going to happen to our relationship and our kids, etc.
Anyway, here was his response. It made me think "Wow, I hope his wife knows how lucky she is". They have been together for about 10 years. And are both in their early 30's. Maybe its just me, but I sure would kill for a man who thought this way about me and our relationship:
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Well it sounds like me about 8 years ago. We have struggled to make bills and had to scrape hard. Go to the food bank, get on WIC and do all that. We had problems with marriage between the 3 to 5 year itch. I was a selfish jerk and all I ever thought about was me. Me ME ME ME , My time , My friends , My money . and then I blamed my wife ( "you never let me do anything, I always have to be home, where is My time ?") I was a bad husband.
Then we went to some marraige counseling and I learned that I was Not Being The MAN. So I swallowed my MAN Pride Crap and Became a Husband. I now Listen to my wife, I kiss and hold my wife, Tell her how beautiful she is, I clean the house , help with the kids, give baths , all that stuff. My wife and our love comes first. I see so many Men today in marriages that don't get it , and they say "My wifes a *****, she doesn't this- she that". Well I tell them to get off there ASS and listen to their wives and help out, get plugged in. And then maybe your wife will give you sex. Women don't give love unless they are getting love. I used to expect sex and demand it. HA who was I kidding? I have to make deposits into the bank before I make a withdraw. I grow Roses in my wife love garden instead of weeds , and I think alot of men grow weeds instead of flowers , women are flowers.... Man I am SOOOOOOO Married . Anyway let me know if you need an ear I am here .
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lol The ironic thing is this guy treated me like CRAP in high school. I was obssesed with him-he knew it and treated me like crap most of the time...Oh well...Thanks for listening, girls!;)

julie_angel
05-02-2003, 10:06 PM
Sounds like a good guy, and a good friend! Maybe your man will smarten up like this guy did! {{{{Bruiser}}}}

Ok, I have to say it, "you can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what ya need" (Rolling Stones, of course) LOL

bruiser
05-02-2003, 10:17 PM
lol I love that song! Very true, also! Thanks(((((((julie))))!
I dont mean to sound whiny, just that words like that really make you think about the man you are with...Sigh....:rolleyes: ;)

MsLynn
05-03-2003, 08:10 AM
<~~doesn't believe there are men like that, lmao, sorry, just a down on love person here, lol

Ladytiger
05-03-2003, 01:41 PM
{{{{{Bruiser}}}} as unfair as it seems, being in the relationship with you, might have woke up this guy, along with the experience he was having with his wife. I can so relate to this. We just have to realize that we are put into someone's lives to either help them in a lesson they need to learn, or they are helping us in some way. Kudos to this guy for waking up and "getting plugged in". We have been going to counseling, and doing a "Venus/Mars" Seminar, and it has changed our lives dramatically, just takes some waking up. Hopefully what will happen now, is this guy will help you, in whatever way-karma, it's a wonderful thing sometimes.;)

Danny
05-03-2003, 02:26 PM
My parents taught me that marriage/relationships are never "50-50" they are "100-100" In order to work you have to give 100%. And boy how right they were!

Queensown
05-03-2003, 02:58 PM
Originally posted by KissMsLynn
<~~doesn't believe there are men like that, lmao, sorry, just a down on love person here, lol

There are! And the secret to finding a great man? You have to know you deserve him! Great, loving men are always attracted to women who love themselves (not in a vain way, simply a good self esteem kind of way) Love yourself first, and only then will someone else be able to love you that much.

Ladytiger
05-03-2003, 05:42 PM
WhooHooo!! Amen Queenie! (and smooches too)

WitchyGurl
05-04-2003, 05:37 AM
This is just my opinion and you don't have to share it.

This guy is blowing smoke up your @ss!
You have no proof that he's not the jerk he was claiming to be previous to his "enlightenment":rolleyes:

It's also my opinion that it is inappropriate for WOMEN to discuss relationship/marital problems with any MAN!
OR VICE VERSA for that matter!
People who do this are just sending "feelers" out looking for someone to LATCH onto! Maybe not intentionally, but that what they're doing.
How do you think all these affairs start? By someone complaining to the other about how BAD their relationship is, that's how!!!
Don't tell me it's just innocent conversation either. You can lie to yourself but don't try passing that bull to me. I know better.
If you want to fix the relationship with your ex- DO IT!
If your not going to work on it, get out of it and look for something else.

bruiser
05-04-2003, 08:02 AM
uhhh He just got a hold of me through Classmates.com. We have emailed about three times. Sorry, but it IS innocent. It is email only and the relationship is in the very ancient past (14 YEARS!)
I said I wish I could have a man like that, not this particular man!
I HAVE worked on my relationship with my ex hubby till I am blue in the face-that is a different story.
Obviously this guy is happy and HE is the ONE who emailed me. Just because I gave him a liitle bit of info about how my life is going, doesnt mean I want him! He asked about my divorce, etc- I told him.
And I thought I was bitter!

WitchyGurl
05-04-2003, 01:48 PM
Originally posted by bruiser
uhhh He just got a hold of me through Classmates.com. We have emailed about three times. Sorry, but it IS innocent. It is email only and the relationship is in the very ancient past (14 YEARS!)
I said I wish I could have a man like that, not this particular man!
I HAVE worked on my relationship with my ex hubby till I am blue in the face-that is a different story.
Obviously this guy is happy and HE is the ONE who emailed me. Just because I gave him a liitle bit of info about how my life is going, doesnt mean I want him! He asked about my divorce, etc- I told him.
And I thought I was bitter!


No man who is truely happy in is marriage, is going to e-mail an old flame just to talk!
BUT You tell yourself whatever you need to.

WitchyGurl
05-04-2003, 03:41 PM
Originally posted by chelle33
I agree with WhitchyGurl - why would he feel the need
to email his ex in the first place?
Both me and my hubby have exes but neither one of
us keeps in contact with them - JMO

LOL now that's what I'm talking about.
My husband tells me he's happy but if I caught him e-mailing an ex-girlfriend, he'd be miserable pretty quick!
I wonder if bruiser's e-mail friend has told his wife he's e-mailing her?
I would want to talk to her myself on the phone,
not take HIS word she knows LOL!;)

It all sounds just TOO fishy to me.

Willow
05-04-2003, 03:45 PM
I hope you get things sorted out with your ex husband. On the other hand I don't know how I would feel if my husband got in touch with someone who used to be their girlfriend at one point. Do you have a female friend who you could discuss your relationship with?