sex education given at church for kids

[angelinwaiting]

Ok...they are starting a sex education class at my church and it starts Sunday night and lasts for 6 weeks...they are going to teach what the Bible says about sex and the class is for boys and girls ages 12 and up....I have decided not to let my 12 year old son attend due to the fact that it is very hard for me to get to church on Sunday nights and also because I teach him about sex here at home....he has been told all about the birds and the bees and that his Mom would really like for him to wait til he gets married before he has sex and all else that goes along with talking about sex...here goes my situation...My dear Mother, bless her heart, is very upset and mad with me since I told her that my son will not be taking this class....she seems to think that if he doesn't take this class that he will have sex before he gets married...I tell her that some of the kids who take the class could have sex before marriage also but she said no they won't....she went on to tell me that I don't let him participate in anything ( he plays football, basketball, and baseball at school) but I think she is talking about church related things, and that I won't let my youngest son, who is almost 4 years old, go to preschool....I told her that I can't afford preschool and that it is not mandatory that he go to preschool...there is one in her apartment complex that has a free preschool program, but my intuition tells me to not take him to this particular preschool, and so far, my intuitions concerning my kids have been right on target, but she will not hear of that....I have nothing against this church as I go there too, but my Mom is so into telling me what to do and not do concerning my kids...she loves to lay this guilt trip on me.....I am a 34 year old married woman and have not lived at home since I was 18...I have been married to my kids father since I was 20 years old...I went back to school and got my GED when my oldest son was 2 months old and went to nursing school when he was 2 years old...we own our home and we own 2 vehicles and I never ask her for anything, so why does she make me feel like such a failure? My whole family is like this....I have a sister and 2 brothers who live in the same town as I do and they never call me or come to see me unless they want something....one of my brothers is very sick so I understand why he doesn't and his wife does call me, but the other 2, not at all....I am sick of all this crap....I want to move far away sometimes and then I want have to hear it....My family doesn't seem to care anyway....

Sorry this is so long, but I had to get it off my chest....and besides my 2 sons and my hubby, ya'll are my family and I know that ya'll care.....

[scifiwoman]

Tell mom to butt out. You are a grown woman and know whats best for your kids. Id just tell her its not her decision what YOUR kids do. Good luck.

[ahippiechic]

She raised her children, now it's your turn. I'd just tell her thanx for the advice, but you'll have to do what you think is best for your children. Good luck!

[Donnagg123]

I definately agree with scifiwoman and ahippiechic on this. You know what is best for your children. To be honest, (and this is only my opinion) if they are waiting till they are 12 years old to tell them then odds are, they are probably too late anyway. Meaning most, if not properly educated and some it doesn't matter either way, are already "experimenting" at this age anyway. I think it is great you teaching your children about sex yourself. I mean you had them so you must know something ;) Just keep doing what you do, because you are the one who knows what is right for them. Good luck on the situation :)

[momfromTN]

I agree. I have had to tell both inlaws and my own family to basically butt out at times. YOU are the parent, not Mom. You have to stand up to her and inform her that YOU are the mom, and what you and your DH decide is what will be done. No ifs, ands, or butts. If she doesn't like it, or gets really rude or insistent to the point of harrassment, maybe you will have to limit visits with her, to get the point across.

I also applaud you for your stand on sex education. I feel it should be taught at home. I know others do not agree with me on this opinion, but thats how I feel.

[mlathroum]

OMG!!! Are you catholic and are you related to my MIL?!!!

I am catholic and our local parish started doing this that is why I asked that part of the question. I am totally against it. My son is 8 years old. They haven't told him anything related to the Bible since January. I am mad and considering transferring to another local church because of it. I will teach my son or allow him to take the class in Junior High when he is ready not my church. This has been an arguement with my IL's also. The only reason I haven't yanked him is because we have to pay $90 a year for 2 boys to be in CCD class.

Your family sounds like my MIL though. If she can interfer in something she does. I have not spoken to her since December at this point and I won't until she apologizes. My 21 year old BIL asked to take my two boys 8 and 4 to the movies. He is in college and was home for Christmas break. He still lives at home until he graduates. He has babysat for me since he was 13. She went off when Matt was walking out the door and said he wasn't allowed to take them alone. He had to have another person with him. Mind you my kids are good. They listen and wouldn't have left him for any reason. The B!tch told them she didn't want them abducted. I am still MAD!! I don't like her scaring my kids like that. Hubby is backing me up and had an arguement with my FIL over it also. FIL told me to apologize and get it over with. When I haven't yet he told me I am making an enemy out of him. He is also mad because we didn't participate in the "family fiasco" Easter mess. It was also Hubbys Bday and he didn't want to go since it is held over an hour away at MIL's sisters house. MIL's 8 kids, 3 DIL's, 4 grandsons, her 3 siblings, all of their wives and husbands, and their 10 kids in a house because it was raining. We went to my Mom's and then he went fishing in the late afternoon. His bday he can do what he wanted.
Sorry for ranting. I am in a mood today.

[squirt]

And here I thought the church was supposed to be your SPIRITUAL advisor, not taking the place of the parents, or school. What are YOU going to do?

[miccit]

I don't blame you at all!

I guess it doesn't surprise me that they are teaching it at church. My aunt's church does that. I don't buy that whole they won't have sex if they learn about it at church. That is bull. Some kids are gonna do it no matter what.

I know as a Girl Scout leader there is a section that I am supposed to teach on growing up (ie periods, feelings etc) to my troop before they bridge to Juniors. I don't do it. That is not my job, that is their mom's job. I have told my mom's I will provide them with the curriculum if they want it, but it is not my place to teach their kids about that. Maybe I am being dumb, but I feel it should come from their parents. That way the parents can let them know what they want them to know.

Ok, sorry I got off track.

I would also tell mom that you appreciate her concern, but this is your child your decision.

Good luck, sometimes mom's can be a handful to deal with.:)

[kelblend]

Sounds like your Mom is bored with her life. She wants to get involved in yours in any way she can. Also wondering if she does the I told you so thing? LOL Just try to take it with a grain of salt. (still not sure what that means, but still think it fits here.) Know she's gonna gripe, but know that you are doing what YOU AS THEIR MOTHER know is right for them. Maybe Mom needs a hobby or something. Could also be that she's so afraid of how things are soooo different now than when she was raising kids that she's paranoid about what the kids have to face. I have been no help once again. Sorry :0(

[jamireles]

I think it is a good thing that schools and churches are offering sex education, BUT parents should have the choice of letting their children attend. If a child's parents are teaching him/her about sex, then that's fine. But there are a lot of parents who do not teach their kids about sex. Did your parents talk to you about sex? I know mine didn't - I got most of my info from friends, and I now know for a fact that I was extremely misinformed.

Again, I think it is a good thing, but you should be able to decide, as a parent, if it is right for your child. I will definitely be teaching my kids about sex education.

[schsa]

You are an adult and when you mom starts in on you, you go back to being her little girl. It's a family dynamics thing and it's time to put an end to it.

Your mom should stay out of your business. And you need to tell her that you will raise your kids however you feel best. She is not your judge and jury unless you let her be. Also, don't discuss this stuff with her. If she says anything about it, tell her you are considering it. That doesn't mean that you are going along or are agreeing with her. Then make your own decision.

Your mother is trying to run your life, the same way she did when you were 12. You are a successful individual. Let your life define who you are not your mother.

[mrs.john]

My mom does that kind of stuff. Not so much with our boys, but with my ss (the one that's in trouble all the time) I just tell her that it's not her decision/concern/problem/business. She doesn't like that, and it's caused a lot of disagreements, but until she offers to raise him/do his laundry/pay for the things he needs/cook for him/go to court or the school all the time for him, she can just butt out.

To me, only the parent really knows when their child is ready to learn about sex. And what they're ready to learn at what time.

[kelblend]

Originally posted by miccit
I don't blame you at all!

I guess it doesn't surprise me that they are teaching it at church. My aunt's church does that. I don't buy that whole they won't have sex if they learn about it at church. That is bull. Some kids are gonna do it no matter what.

I know as a Girl Scout leader there is a section that I am supposed to teach on growing up (ie periods, feelings etc) to my troop before they bridge to Juniors. I don't do it. That is not my job, that is their mom's job. I have told my mom's I will provide them with the curriculum if they want it, but it is not my place to teach their kids about that. Maybe I am being dumb, but I feel it should come from their parents. That way the parents can let them know what they want them to know.

Ok, sorry I got off track.

I would also tell mom that you appreciate her concern, but this is your child your decision.

Good luck, sometimes mom's can be a handful to deal with.:)


Good for you not thinking its your place!!! I think that's cool!! I like your reasoning!!:D

I hope that didn't come off wrong. I just mean that some would do it just because and not even have another thought about it.

[miccit]

Originally posted by kelblend
Good for you not thinking its your place!!! I think that's cool!! I like your reasoning!!:D

I hope that didn't come off wrong. I just mean that some would do it just because and not even have another thought about it.

No you didn't come off wrong at all. I am more than happy to help my mom's find the information they need to help their dot's earn this badge. Yes, they earn a badge for me telling them about their body maturing. But, I will not teach the class.

I know one leader last year that taught it without having an permission slips signed. She just decided to do it without even telling the parents she was going to. I would have been so mad.

I did the class with my dot. She is bridging to juniors this summer and I wanted her to earn the badge. It was just me and her. I was a lot more comfortable and I think she was to.

[Smile00]

Originally posted by chelle33
I won't allow my kids to participate in sex education
in school - that is OUR job to teach them about sex
NOT the school's

I agree with you 100%. It is the parent's job to teach kids about sex. I know some parents have a hard time talking about sex to their children but it is important that they do it - not the school and especially not their peers. Wouldn't want them to get the wrong messages. There are age appropriate books on sex available for parents to read with their children if they have trouble doing it on their own.