I am so upset

[tiffany21]

what is up with mothers not mine my boyfriend step mother decide that all of a sudden I am not the right person for her son wtf is she talking about I don't know I am just so mad. my bf told me he don't care what she say he is not leaving me becouse of her fellings we get along great we have been together for 2 years. my kids call his parents grandma and grandpa should I put a stop to that now. please be nice on giveng advice I am so depressed right now and can't handle any bashing. she say I am to old for him their is a 10years diffrence in our ages but it does not bother us at all why should it bug her damm why can't people just leave other happy people alone.

[Kyla Kym]

I would say it's his place to tell his mom to keep out of it. Mom's will be mom's and say things like that. I would just tell him he needs to stand up for you. And tell his mom that it's his decision not hers who he is going to spend time with. She needs to know now or she will just get worse if she knows no one is going to stand up for you.

If she loves her son, she will back down if he tells her how he really feels about everything. She will be afraid of losing him all together.

Hope it works out for the best {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

[ahippiechic]

I'm 14 years older than my DH! ;) You need to tell her that you aren't going to listen to her negativity, and your boyfriends needs to tell her too.

[miccit]

I had this problem with my in-laws when I married my husband. My MIL still doesn't think I am good enough for him, but she knows enough to keep her mouth shut. For a long time he couldn't stand up to his mom and tell her to mind her own business, but once he did things got a lot easier.

His dad on the other hand, will never come around. I am a little to light for his taste!:rolleyes:

Good luck, MIL's can be a real pain sometimes. I keep telling DH that if I get like that with my kids spouses when they get older, to tell me to get it together!

[OX_Love_OX]

Not so sure what my MIL problem is, I'm terrific ;) I hope one day I have a daughter in law who is just like me:p With some people, no matter what you do, say, etc...you won't be right in their eyes.

I'm 33, been with my husband for half my life and married for 14 years. We love each other...period. We did it all "right"...went to school, got married, hubby has a great career, had lovely children who I now stay home with, bought a great house, live a clean family oriented life. (What more do you hope for when it comes to your children) It is sad though, that they can't be grandparents, they live 20 minutes away and we see them at most twice a year, just because...who knows why really?:confused: When I do see them it's usually at a wedding or a funeral...and they hug me like they adore me(in front of other of their family members) I really just don't get it.

Our children are so beautiful and awesome...real fun to be around and so loving. I don't care so much if they don't like me...but could they at least "fake" some love for their grandchildren? They are older now and know that their grandparents don't care...I can't cover it up anymore. I tell them that this experience will make me that much better of a granny when they have children....and I will be an AMAZING grandma.

OMG...I got a little sad there:(

[mesue]

Moms will be Moms and say what they think, and Sons will Sons and ignore their mothers. I know I got a son I tell him what I think and most of the time he grins and says UH huh and thats the end of that. Sweetie don't hold it against her if you can help it, she's prabably gotten this idea from someone who does not even know you, she'll get over it, don't let it depress you, your bf knows where he wants to be and he is right there with you.

[DreamWarrior]

Hun I know EXACTLY how you feel... I am a little more than 5 years older than MY bf and his mom HATES me... Always has... but ya know what... That's on HER... not ME.... she NEVER took the time to get to know me and just ASSUMED things about me that were TOTALLY not true and she NEVER took the time to find out the truth.

So sweety, dont fret... its not your fault that she's a Witch (replace the w...LOL) thats just HER... it has NOTHING to do with who you are. Your BF obviously loves you and doesnt care what she thinks... it took me awhile to figure that one out ... LOL

[justme23]

Tell your boyfriend to tell her to stay out of his personal relationships... don't do it yourself, MILs usually play the victim and sons usually (not all the time, but usually) side w/ their mothers and then there's even more strain on the relationship... let HIM take care of HIS mother, and you just ignore her and enjoy your great relationship... which you obviously have or he would have listened to mommy dearest and took off.

[mlayton1994]

She needs to butt out and stay out of your relationship. (((hugs)))

[hotwheelstx]

Have the same problem w/MIL. Hated me from day 1. She's Aggie's stepmother as well.

There is NOTHING that I can/will/want to do to please this woman. I've tried. I gave up while we were still dating.

It's still a "battle" of sorts. I will not go to her home anymore. I will see Aggie's dad when we go to Florida. Only if Aggie or brothers can go pick him up and meet somewhere. Aggie hasn't had/have a problem w/it.

First wife stepmother made a derogatory comment and Aggie stayed away for 10 years. I'm serious. She's made comments about my legs, chair and Aggie's almost at his wit's end. He's holding on for his dad's sake. I can understand that. His dad is in his 80's and not in good health.

If you intend to stay w/bf................BLOW OFF the mil. She doesn't live w/u, put up w/u, eat w/u, sleep w/u, cook 4/u..............YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER DOES. That's all that matters in the long run.

Sorry, didn't mean to get on a tangent. I've been there, still am. I don't care anymore. It harder for her to dislike/hate me then it is for me to ignore it.

If it gets to stressful I would send her a note stating that your boyfriend is a grown man and can take care of himself, pick and choose who/what he wants to do w/his life. It's not her life anyways.

JMO..............Good luck. I know it's difficult. Hang in there. :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :(

[morris2b]

Tell your bf's mother that she wont always be there for him to love so he has to find a replacement sometime in life.....LOL Joking

I think you both should go to her and tell her how you feel for each other and if she can not accept that then tough luck, everyone needs love and if she loves herself and her son she will understand.

[tiffany21]

thank you all so much for the good advice my b/f did tell her that I amy a sweet person and he is happy and he as told me and her over over he is not going anywhere well hope she will drop this. :rolleyes: and just let us be happy.

[lpelham]

Originally posted by tiffany21
my kids call his parents grandma and grandpa should I put a stop to that now.

No one really addressed this - I would say let them continue to call them grandma and grandpa. I don't know how small the kids are, but making them stop calling them grandma and grandpa to me would just be wrong. Even if she is pissing you off, I understand, but I would try to not involve the kids.

Does she have a good relationship with the kids? If so, I would talk to her and ask that no matter what happens, that she still have a good relationship with the kids and neither of you try to involve them in what is going on.

I had a "grandma" when I was little that was a friend of my parents. I probably didn't see her after I was 10 (because she moved, not because my parents fought with her or anything), but until the day she died, she was still my "grandma." And still is Grandma Evelyn :-)

Libby

[tiffany21]

lpelham thank you