The ex came last night to photograph our home

[1busymomma]

O.k. we had worked out for her to come last night to photgraph what she thought was hers. She was under strict orders to photograph the things she thought were hers and not the whole house.

A few days ago I had asked my ex-hubby to be my witness to my things. Basically I pitted girlfriend against boyfriend. My ex was flattered and did it for me. It ticked her off big time.

Well she came in and started taking pics of my things!!! :eek: :mad: saying this is mine and this is mine. Blah blah blah. I blew my cork on her and told her to stop taking pics of my stuff. She did it anyway. Finally my ex stepped in and under his breath told her she was out of line and to stop photographing my things. Well she did sort of. Then she went outside and went on and on about "oh poor me, oh I'm so scared of her (me)" blah, blah, blah. I told her to stop whining and go see a shrink. That pissed her off to.

Then at the end she made a comment about me and I really flew off the handle and told said "oh shut-up and stuff it you big fat cow!!! " :eek: She stood their stunned and shocked and then started crying, and drove off.

Now I am in the fight for my things because I could not very well take the camera from her and she needed to get her walk through done. My ex had it out with her after they left as did her stepdad according to my ex. She was out of line. Oh and here is the clencher. She took one look at the home with all of my stuff and says "well now I need to make a new property list" NOT!!!!! Sorry chica you get one shot and you blew it.

So now here is to hopeing that she is not allowed to come after my things or playing games forcing dbf to pay her for her abandoned property that we were told to get rid of by the judge.

[Sarahsmom]

I think I would have removed my things before she even stepped foot in the house.
The best thing you can do is they to look at your old pictures and those of family and see if any of these things show up in photos. Video tape would be good too. Then when she tells the judge "the chair is mine" your lawyer can produce evidence that the stuff belonged to you long before she ever might you. This way you can prove she is lying. Nothing like showing a photo of your child at age 2 sitting in chair she claims is hers.
And please don't tell you ex you are doing this. Don't tip the scales. You want to catch her in a bold face lie. Make your anger use full. You'll enjoy it much better when she is proven a lier.

[1busymomma]

My ex is fully aware long before this that if she tried to do what she did I would personally sue her. The ball is in her court. Should she try and claim my things I have the right to sue her to the fullest and plan to. She was given that warning a month ago.

She still thinks though that my things are her things. Because we have a smaller home a ton of my things are in storage so what she saw was only approx 25% of mine and my children's belongings. What was not in storage and was valuable to me was put in the safe that she was not allowed into and/or was hidden in car trunks and the woods. LOL. It's the whole principale of the thing that makes me angry.

I sat down last night and emailed her on exaclty why I blew my cork on her. I did apologize for calling her a cow and making her cry. But I also explained that if she wanted to continue to be a major part of my ex-hubbys life that she was not going to run the show and that she is going to have to get along with me. I went on further to explain that just because her and her ex do not get along that she has no right to play mental head games with me in an attempt to drive me off from having a freindship with my ex-hubby. I do have a good relationship with him for our children and told her she has no business interfering with that (there have been other things go on)

we will see what happens in the next few weeks. Next court date is May 22. I have asked ex-h to please sit down with her and find out what she thinks is hers and that then I would send proof that it was not. We are trying to make attempts to get this settled out of court. My ex-hubby wants it and so do I. We got the both of them to agree to sit down and mediate this stuff for the sake of all 4 kids.
I just want peace and quiet!!!

[Willow]

Maybe I missed something but why was your ex husbands girlfriend coming into your home and taking pictures of things she claims are hers? How did her things get into your home?

[Willow]

Oh I get it. They swapped. LOL I guess I did miss something. I hope everything works out 1busmymomma. :)

[1busymomma]

Originally posted by cab92
You've missed a great story. Her ex and her boyfriend's ex are now "currents". The details have been a soap opera.

Oh is'nt that the truth. :rolleyes: I am very careful about what I say to my ex, btw. I did give her fair warning though because I want her to know I am serious about suing her if she tries anything which undoubetdly she will.

Granted the ex's are together but my ex still worships the ground I walk on and adores me. I still have him wrapped around my finger and she hates that. That is why he is so willing to do things for me. :)
Like be my witness and telling her to back off etc....He never wanted the divorce, and he has told me repeatedly he wants me back which she knows and hates as well. I like my ex but I can't live with him. Of course she wants to keep him so bad that she will do anything for him.......so I have the full deck of cards in my hand at this point.

The whole thing is sooo messed up.

[1busymomma]

Cab, can I come join you?

[1busymomma]

Well yes and no.

I got to show my ex pics of the house when she was first thrown out and he looked like he was gonna puke. Then he said well she was just about crazy with post partum depression and marriage on the rocks. I looked at him and said and what is her excuse right now??? He had nothing to say.

Oh yes, the ex is getting an eye and ear full and he is not liking it cause he knows any normal human being would not do half of the stuff she does.

I'm sure it will be funny in about 5 years from now. I have been silent for 2 years and so glad I blew my cork on her and called her a cow last night. That felt good. :) Sure I said I was sorry, but I did not mean it!!! ;) I just want to stay on her so called good side if she even has one.

[mom4angels]

1busymomma I don't think that I could ever stand my ex and my dh being together. How do you stand that? All I can say is that you are a very strong person to deal with all of that crap. I just want to say good luck getting her off your back.

[1busymomma]

Originally posted by mom4angels
How do you stand that?

I ignore it for the most part, but it works to my advantage to a degree. Like I said I am the one holding the all of the playing cards and she knows it, so she'd better behave herself. :) I like having the upper hand. :D ;)

Aside from ignoring it, I eat well, excercise (alot) and take lots of bubble baths. ;)

[1busymomma]

What is confusing and I will explain it. :) I know seems more complicated and it is hard to write about it but I do the best I can. :D

[Ladytiger]

{{{{{{{{1busymomma}}}}}}I know this will be hard, but for the time being, I would not put anything in writing (or emails), she can bring that to court and the judge can tangibly see something, he/she wasn't there for the other confrontations, they will only go by what is in front of them. Also, can someone from your family either be in court with you, or write up a paper on your belongings? Reason I ask is this, my family gave me alot of the furniture, living necessities )sheets, towels, etc..) when I moved out, then I got married, still had those things, when I got divorced, he was claiming that he bought it all. Wrong, I had my aunt and uncle come to court, and tell the judge that they helped me out with those items (which they had with some of them, some of them were handed down to me, hard to prove though). I feel your pain, I have been where you are and it's not fun! Just keep holding your ground, and hang in there! Good luck!

[1busymomma]

dear ex

After calming down and thinking about it I wanted to apologize for my comments that were made towards you this evening. I was out of line and should have just kept my mouth shut. I am a big enough person to know when I am wrong.

While I am not defending my commentary I do want to clarify why I was upset. I don't care what kind of documents you produce. The fact is you took pictures of mine and my children's belongings. I feel very violated. That is an understatement. If the tides were reversed you would feel the same way, please do not deny that. I think everyone would feel violated in some fashion.

I realize that you wanted to make sure you get your things.I would want the same. I would never want to keep you from them.Tonight was unfair to me in general. I have been an innocent bystander for the last 2 years. i have not purposfully gotten involved. Tonight takes the cake. I blew my cork because taking pictures of my things was uncalled for.a lot of what you took pictures of was mine. So yes I have every right to feel the way I do. You are a stranger to me. I don't know you and from what I have observed over the last few years I truly do not trust and respect you. That is something that is earned, not an automatic right.

I sincerly hope that we can work these issues out. We need to particularly if you want to continue to be a major part of my ex-husbands life. I feel that the four of us should get together and sit down but that means listening as well as talking and should not go in the direction that it went tonight (referring to you and your communications with xxxx)

Again, I am sorry for my commentary and hurtful words. I only hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

1busymomma

*This is the only note I emailed her. I have no other use in emailing her. It is hard and complicated but there are reasons I chose to apologize and dbf fully agreed and backed me up on it. He read it to and approved it before I sent it.*

[1busymomma]

Also note to add, that yes we will subpeona everybody that has contributed to my belongings or things I got as a child that were in the home that she photographed. We also have to do that with 6 quilts that were dbf's given to us last year after his grandmother died. She threw a fit saying they were hers. :rolleyes:

[1busymomma]

Yes, dbf and I have been dating for 15 months now and my ex and his ex decided to get together about a month ago. :rolleyes: It's gross.

[MommyG3]

You have my well wishes.

***sits on the couch and waits for another episode of AS 1busymomma's WORLD TURNS.

[cinnamonch]

What I have never understood about this whole issue of things she says are hers, why didnt/doesnt your bf just give her the stuff so he can get along with his life? Are these things so valuable and irreplaceable or something? I know that there is a thing called principal and you dont want her just walking all over folks but you have to get to a point and say enough is enough.

You have been with this man for a while it seems and I would tend to think that you would have gotten tired of this madness but then again I dont know.