View Full Version : being single in a married world...

03-02-2003, 08:34 PM
I have just come to the conclusion that all my friends have children and are married. I just got back from vacation and I went with 2 couples. They always included me, but we went to a club. The couples went out and danced while I sat for almost a half an hour by myself watching the coats and purses. Man, that was a kick in the neck in anything is.

I *HATE* being single. I just don't know how to meet people. The only guys that seem to be interested are all frick fracking druggies and I can't stand drugs! I am 25 years old! All I want to do is meet a nice guy that actually has a job (other than selling drugs) and settle down with babies and such. I am actually ready for that. I just don't know how to meet people. I have tried the internet and it just didn't work for me. I can't stand bars. I don't think it is right to meet men at Church. I just don't know my options anymore. BLAH BLAH BLAH! I HATE BEING SINGLE!!!!

03-02-2003, 08:55 PM
you will find some one. i know you have probally heard this before, i will say it again because i beleive it. if you dont look for it it will happen. belive me when i met my husband i was not looking for love, but it found me and am so glad it did. just enjoy being young and have fun and he will find you!!:)

03-02-2003, 08:55 PM
{{{{{freebiegrl}}}}} hope you have been getting my ecards, I have been thinking about ya!:p

03-02-2003, 08:57 PM

Take a vacation and meet tons of single people....This is a blast!!!!

03-02-2003, 09:19 PM
maybe try different places to hang and go.
loose some of the old friends and go out to coffee shops, book stores and stuff
I love being married. and I love my husband of 7 1/2 years

03-02-2003, 10:02 PM
One day, you will post "Being married in a single world", LOL! THe grass is always greener! Don't get me wrong, I totally love my husband & my son, but now almost all of my friends are single & going out & having fun, while I'm usually home.

But really, as most everyone will tell you, and I'm sure you are tired of hearing, when you stop looking for it, you will find it.

03-02-2003, 10:06 PM
I agree with Denise. When I was single all I could think about was getting married, having babies etc....I married to young and to fast. And though I got two great kids out of the deal I just kept wishing I was single etc...cause ex was so controlling. Now I am single again, living life and loving it and in no big hurry!

03-02-2003, 10:43 PM
I'm 30 yrs old I have never been married. (I really don't want to get married.) Everyone of my friends are married and they all have children. I do have one child as a result of being a careless/carefree teenager. At the time my sons father asked me to marry him, I already made a mistake by getting pregnant & I didn't want to make two by marring this fool.

Anyway, it's not really hard to meet men. You have to weed through them until you find a decent one. It takes a while to find the right one. (In my case, cause i'm picky lol) Like one person said, "You'll find the right person when you're not looking for anyone." I agree with you, Church isn't a good place to pick up men. A bar isn't a good place neither unless you want a drunk. hehehe

You'll find someone eventually, you are still young, just enjoy your freedom while you have it.

03-03-2003, 08:58 AM
I once heard that all the good men that are sensitive, thoughtful and have a compasion are gay sorry to upset anyone..

03-03-2003, 10:31 AM
Originally posted by honeybear39429

i wasnt married at 25 or in a serious relationship, it will happen when it happens.

right now i wish i was single...wanna trade places? :p:p:p:p

Hey no fair-- I was gonna send her my DH!;)

All kidding aside- it will happen for you. Sometimes the best things in life take a while. I will send you some married vibes (or curses depending on how the day is going)!:)

03-03-2003, 10:42 AM
I see nothing wrong with meeting men/women at church. My brother who is recently devorced started going to a new church since his ex was at the old one and he has met the most wonderful woman. My mom and step dad met at church after my dad died and my DH and I met at a church function in the 8th grade.

03-03-2003, 12:28 PM

I am the exact opposite! I got married for the first time at 37 (three years ago) while all my friends were married in their late teens/early twenties. The problem is most are getting divorced now. You change quite a bit or at least I did in my twenties. If I had married the men I was dating then, someone would have been hurt by now :-) I love my husband very much and we are great friends as well as husband and wife. I know now the wait was worth it!

When I finally met my husband, I had given up on getting married (of course!). Things to keep in mind is older, unmarried woman are looked upon less as "old maids" (although I prefered the term Spinster) today. There is a much more positive attitude to unmarried women than every before!

I would just suggest building a network of GREAT friends and concentrating on that. And when you find a man you love, don't let your friendships lapse! My husband know how important my friends were to me, so there was no chance of him interfering with that.

Love will come when it is the right time.


03-03-2003, 03:08 PM

I know all to well about this. I was single until I was 37 almost 3 years ago. JMO as you get older you will enjoy yourself more. There is NOTHING WRONG w/being single.

Granted I wasn't wild in my 20's and didn't party a lot. I focused more on school and career and starting a life for myself.

Ask your friends if they know anyone single and dating. I hated blind dates, too but had some really good times w/some. A few of them I'm still friends w/even though I'm married now.

Let me say that when I decided to get married I thought it would be a "party all the time". IT'S NOT.

When the honeymoon is over you go back to "real life" and he has his interest and you still have yours.

You're in the prime of your 20's I would enjoy it. I really did.

There's no rush to get to the alter and have children.

FOR ALMOST 20 YEARS I WAS A CONFIRMED BACHELORETTE. Never thought about getting married, buying a house. Attitudes change w/age.

Don't push yourself into something you might regret later. I'm sooooooooooooooooo happy that I waited.

JMO;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

03-03-2003, 06:36 PM
At 46, been engaged three times and never married. I am so glad I never married. Almost all of my friends are divorced, having probems or getting married for the third time. I like having my own money, making my own decisions and doing what I please when I please. Being single is just different from being married and some people do single better than others.

03-04-2003, 02:12 AM
Originally posted by schsa
At 46, been engaged three times and never married. I am so glad I never married. Almost all of my friends are divorced, having probems or getting married for the third time. I like having my own money, making my own decisions and doing what I please when I please. Being single is just different from being married and some people do single better than others.

I agree totally. Being married is "different" but when you've spent your own money, come and gone as you pleased, lived alone, kept your house the way you want to all of a sudden "things change".

Yes, I'm happy that I got married but, there are days I look back and think "What did I do????".

Like schsa I went/was in probably 6 weddings all w/in 6 months of graduating from high school. Now, here it is almost 25 years later and they are getting divorces. Children are in college, they haven't worked in 20 years, have no money of their "own", don't have any idea about finances, what to do about a house alone.

I am more the wiser for waiting to get married.

Like I said before when the honeymoon is over REALITY sets in really quick. You both go back to your daily life, activities, habits.

DO NOT RUSH YOURSELF. When it's your time and it's "right" it will happen. It always does...........................Don't get discouraged. I would much rather be "older/wiser" then left hanging in the long run.
;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

03-04-2003, 11:30 AM
Have fun and enjoy life. :) It will happen when it happens. :)

03-04-2003, 01:12 PM
I love my husband, I love my kids. I just can't put it into words to make people understand. Some of us wish so bad that we hadn't said "I do". Things were so much better before. I'm not going to go into detail, but PLEASE don't rush it & when you find someone PLEASE be sure because it's a totally different world, it's not something you want to do unless you are truly 100% sure. Just remember it's not all fun, going dancing, enjoying each other, etc. for most of us married couples. If anyone has that they are VERY lucky. What's the saying? "If I knew then what I know now....."