View Full Version : Family??? (long)

02-25-2003, 08:00 PM
I found out recently (tried to get a credit card and was denied) that my credit is shot to h3ll because my mother used my SS number to get credit cards and maxed them out. I also had utility bills, cable, and mail order catalog, book club, music club, cell phones, pagers, etc. on my credit report that my mother used my name and SS number to obtain. Same thing with my sister. Thankfully, "hers" is only a few hundred dollars. "Mine" is over $10,000 with everything added. My mother passed away, my brother is a deadbeat (who most of my mother's purchases were for) and my dad thinks I should just pay the bills and not tell them that my mother stole my identity and ruined my credit. So far, I have paid off four of the credit cards, but I don't think it is fair that I should have to pay these bills. I have three little kids that I have to provide for. When one of the department stores called my father's house and asked him if the credit card bill was mine, he said, yes. He is aware that my mother used my sister's and my name & SS#'s to get credit and utilities. (Their water, sewage, garbage and gas bills were in my name since they started renting that apartment 13 years ago-which I was unaware of) I think he should have stepped up to the plate and said no, they were my wifes, but she passed away. I haven't lived at my dad's home in 10 years, so why was the billing address and phone number theirs if it was my bill? Apparently, my mother had been making minimum payments until she passed away and then my dad was just throwing whatever mail came in her name in the trash. I did put an identity fraud alert on my credit report. Family should be a safe haven... not someplace you should have to watch your back. God, I could write a book on my lousy family.....

Thank goodness for my DH and my boys - and my wonderful sister who is just a gift!

02-25-2003, 08:21 PM
did your mom do this when you were under age??? cuz if so, you legally don't have to pay for these. and shouldn't! and If I were you I WOULD tell the companies that your mom stole your identity! WHy should you have to pay for her crap!?????? I am sorry but I just think that is it totally unfair and I have gone threw this before with my lil sister stealing my liscence back when she was under age and posing as me, just to be able to go to the bars and buy booze! ( we look exactally alike, minus the fact that she has darker hair than I do and is 5 years younger!_) She and I had a HUGE fight when I found out that she was doing this and I mad sure to let her know that
I was going to press charges against her if I had anything such a speeding ticket or DUI or anything on my record. So I made her pay for a back groung check on me and lucky for her, nothing came up! Plus I called our cousin who works for the county sherriff and had him do a few checks for me. Still nothing. But I didn't talk to her for 2 months! If I would have found anything, she would have gone to jail! Identity theft is NOT something to mess with. REPORT IT! I at least know that I would.

02-25-2003, 08:36 PM
Some of it was when I was under age. Most of the utilities were from the time I was 9-to just recently when I forced my dad to put the utilities in his name. There are outstanding cable, phone, electric, sewage, garbage, gas, water bills. The credit card bills, cell phones, pagers and all the rest were from after I turned 18, though.

I don't know what my legal recourse is because my mother passed away and my dad would never admit that she did it.

02-25-2003, 08:46 PM
I would see if I could get a free consultation with a lawyer to see what they have to say. Your kids come first, not your parents and their decietfulness!

02-25-2003, 08:51 PM
If you can prove identity theft, you shouldn't have to pay for all those bills. AND, you can't be held liable for bills they put in your name while you were a minor (went through a similar scenario w/ my MIL when I was married...ended up reporting her for fraud).

I'd definitely get legal counsel to help you sort this out.

02-25-2003, 10:34 PM
Get a copy of your credit report immediately, preferably a merged report of the big three.

Anything from when you are a minor you are not responsible for.

Anything older than seven years should be removed from your credit report.

Close every account immediately no matter what it is.

Ask each creditor for full details of the account, who it was registered to, address, phone, etc.

Get all your stuff together then go for the identity theft.

Place a statement on your credit report regarding the identity theft.

Then after you have all that stuff RUN to the nearest credit counselor and do exactly what they tell you.

02-28-2003, 11:07 AM
Whether your dad admits to it or not doesn't even matter! You have every right to get your name cleared! you have alot of good advice here and if you don't want to left in the dumps paying for all of your parents crap then YOU need to take action NOW!!! You should NOT have to pay for ANY of this. This is FRAUD!!!! and whether your mom is dead or alive it is still FRAUD! and the accountable parties should be the ones billed, not you! ( Sorry if I sound a little harsh, but I just can't understand why someone would EVER put there kids in this kind of position)I hope you get out of this mess soon!

02-28-2003, 11:32 AM
I agree with what everyone said here. You and your family {kids} shouldnt have to pay for what your parents did, it is their bills NOT yours and you shouldnt have to pay for any of it. You have your own family to support and take care of, think of them first. Your father is an adult he can very well pay for himself and your mother.

I know this sounds harsh and I am sorry.

I know if my mother did this to me there is no way I would pay for it, my kids come first, and I would make sure she knows she cant get away with it anymore.

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} good luck

02-28-2003, 12:11 PM
I find this entire situation unbelieveable. That parents would deliberately hurt their children like this. I shouldn't be surprised because I did have an abusive father...but this is just amazing.

Who cares if your ruin your mother's good name. She obviously didn't have one or she wouldn't have had to use your name and SSN. I would file a identify fraud complaint.

I agree with others...close out the accounts...request copies of who signed the charges, as well as the applications. It obviously won't be your signature.

You just need to determine if you are going to continue being a victim of this woman. Personally, I would be more concerned about my own children than a dead mother who didn't care one fig about her own child. JMHO...

(And your dad is obviously a deadbeat as well...)

02-28-2003, 12:21 PM
Just wanted to thank everyone for their support. I have gotten most of the utilities off of my credit report and am working on the others. Having a hard time with the department stores, though. Especially Sears! Also trying to get the cell phone/pagers bills off my report. I put the fraud alert on my credit report when I first found out what was going on. My dad said that he would pay off the Sears bill since they are giving me such a hard time, so at least he is coming around.

(((((((((((BBS Family))))))))))

02-28-2003, 12:35 PM
It's a shame what mothers do to their kids these days. I can understand because my cousin who use to live with me (until she wouldn't pay rent) was trying to get credit cards in her son's name who is 6. She didn't think I knew what she was up too, but she couldn't deny it when a couple of credit card offers came in the mail with his name on it. I told her that she shouldn't do that, and that that's fraud and we got into a big argument about it. She no longer lives with me, but I have had a few calls from creditors asking can they speak to her son. When I tell them that he is only 6, they say that they didn't know and it says that he is 27.

She is scandalous anyways, because she is always running some type of scam. But her mother did it to her too. Her mother put her name on the phone bill(after her phone was turned off), cable bill after that was turned off, and pg&e bills. She is rampant with her credit, writing bad checks to purchase items, getting things from rent a center and never paying, and she is not able to open up a checking account after she abused the system so much. I took her to get her taxes cashed and she had to pay $125 at one of those check cashing dumps. Sad, IMO.

I say fight this tooth and nail and get you identity back. Your mother should of never did this to you.

02-28-2003, 12:46 PM
my mom did this to me when I was 18.

I didn't do anything about it then, and still more than 11 years later I wish I had.

02-28-2003, 05:27 PM
I didn't find out until I tried to get a credit card. My dh and I dont' have any credit cards and we wanted one so that we could put our internet service for a whole year on the card so that we would get a discount. When I was refused for open unpaid accounts, I got my credit report from the agency that sent in the bad report and low and behold... I have since gotten the one from all three and found all the other stuff on it. It was a shocker! When I told my sister about it, she had her report sent to her and she also has unpaid bills on hers. My sister also has children... twins (boy and a girl) and a new baby boy. I dont' understand how parents could do this to their kids. I would never do this to my kids!

03-02-2003, 12:38 PM
Originally posted by rain_cries
Just wanted to thank everyone for their support. I have gotten most of the utilities off of my credit report and am working on the others. Having a hard time with the department stores, though. Especially Sears! Also trying to get the cell phone/pagers bills off my report. I put the fraud alert on my credit report when I first found out what was going on. My dad said that he would pay off the Sears bill since they are giving me such a hard time, so at least he is coming around.

(((((((((((BBS Family))))))))))

Nope! Not good enough! Your credit is ruined because of this. If you take the money from your Dad and pay the bills, the credit bureaus and the creditors can use that as an admission that the debts are yours. If he is going to pay, make him send the check directly to the company, not to you. And demand that the negative items be removed from your credit report. It might be better for you to go to Legal Aid or get a lawyer rather than trying to handle it yourself. Good luck!

03-02-2003, 03:14 PM
As as been suggested,

1) Get a copy of your credit report to see what is on there
2) If Im not mistaken, you will need to file a police report even though your mother is dead. This is because so many people have said the debt wasnt theirs and they want to know you are serious about prosecuting whomever did this.
3) Request a copy of the agreement and the ID given at the time. This will have the other persons signature on it as well as their picture and you can prove from that you did not sign or agree to anything.
4)Be sure to write each credit service about each debt and that you are disputing what is on there.
5) Once you get the company's to realize the debt is not yours, make sure you follow up with each credit service to see that the debt is removed from your credit report.

I know you dont want to hurt your mothers memory or your dad but this is what people who do this count on. But there is no reason for you or your sister to keep paying debts that are not yours.