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volatile
02-22-2003, 03:33 PM
yes, the addict went down the spiral of addiction. Did learn something that helps a lot. It is NOT him anymore, but the chemically induced personality. Not good, but, have learned how to seperate from him and it. Have left a small window open for help when he is ready to come out of the fog! But, am moving forward, and will continute to. And, yes, divorce is in the making.

Thanks to all for the hugs and support

schsa
02-22-2003, 03:44 PM
You have to protect yourself and your children. Some relationships just don't survive addiction. Personally I would have a very hard time justifying staying with a drug addict or a alcholic for any reason. Change has to come or the relationship will not survive.

WitchyGurl
02-22-2003, 04:08 PM
Originally posted by schsa
You have to protect yourself and your children. Some relationships just don't survive addiction. Personally I would have a very hard time justifying staying with a drug addict or a alcholic for any reason. Change has to come or the relationship will not survive.


I beg to differ.
My Mom is an alcoholic,
my Dad is her enabler.
A perfect disfunctional marriage for 40 years (so far).
Neither of them ever wanted a divorce. Oh sure they complain about each other, but they'll be together 'til the bitter end:rolleyes:

volatile
02-22-2003, 04:38 PM
The change has to come from the alcoholic and the addict. I have learned that addiction can happen to anyone. Even from prescription meds. Once the alcoholic/addict recovers and learns to cope without the deadening of emotions, then the relationship can survive and is sometimes better. For some it works, for others is does not!! But the spouse needs to understand that there is her life, his life, the addiction, and the relationship. No one needs to share blame or guilt that can create the stress that activates the addiction. Addicts hide their addiction and so do alcoholics, sometimes. They already feel enough guilt and they dont' know what to do. It is the curse of the disease. But, some do reach up and out through the fog and make it.

Just my opinion, but thanks for the support and yours

WitchyGurl
02-22-2003, 05:43 PM
Originally posted by volatile
The change has to come from the alcoholic and the addict. I have learned that addiction can happen to anyone. Even from prescription meds. Once the alcoholic/addict recovers and learns to cope without the deadening of emotions, then the relationship can survive and is sometimes better. For some it works, for others is does not!! But the spouse needs to understand that there is her life, his life, the addiction, and the relationship. No one needs to share blame or guilt that can create the stress that activates the addiction. Addicts hide their addiction and so do alcoholics, sometimes. They already feel enough guilt and they dont' know what to do. It is the curse of the disease. But, some do reach up and out through the fog and make it.

Just my opinion, but thanks for the support and yours


Alcoholics are addicts and there's one thing that is prevalent in all forms of addiction. All addicts think the world should revolve around them! When it doesn't they throw "hissy fits" and blame everyone BUT themselves!
Addicts are by far the most manipulative & shelfish people you could ever have the displeasure of knowing! They will use you and everyone they can as long as possible.
There is NO total recovery.
Once an addict, ALWAYS an addict!
People who are not addicts find this hard to accept.
Recovery is a day-by-day exsistance.
If you ask a therapist, they'll tell you straight. Addicts do NOT feel guilty. They may try and play that game with you. It's part of the manipulation. If you think they feel guilty, they then have your sympathy!
I suggest all family members go to Alanon meetings.
http://www.al-anon.org/