MistyWolf
01-26-2003, 09:37 PM
1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move
and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.
3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship
are "I apologize" and "you're right dear."
4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
5. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
6. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her - believe them.
7. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, "Will this matter one
year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"
8. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to
eat crow while it's still warm.
9. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another
chance!
10. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because
of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person
was right about you.
11. Work is good, but it's not that important. Money is nice, but
you can't take it with you. Statistics show most people don't live to spend
all they saved; some die even before they retire. Anything we have isn't
really ours; it was given to us by God; He just lets us borrow it while
we're here.... even our kids.
12. And finally... Be really good to your family and/or friends.
You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.
2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move
and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.
3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship
are "I apologize" and "you're right dear."
4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
5. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
6. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her - believe them.
7. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, "Will this matter one
year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"
8. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to
eat crow while it's still warm.
9. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another
chance!
10. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because
of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person
was right about you.
11. Work is good, but it's not that important. Money is nice, but
you can't take it with you. Statistics show most people don't live to spend
all they saved; some die even before they retire. Anything we have isn't
really ours; it was given to us by God; He just lets us borrow it while
we're here.... even our kids.
12. And finally... Be really good to your family and/or friends.
You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.