ahippiechic
01-21-2003, 08:36 AM
A married couple was in a terrible accident in which the woman's face was severely burned.
The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too thin.
So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!
One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."
"My darling," he replied, "Think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."
************************************************** **************
A 75 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said,
" Take this jar home and bring me back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 75 year old man
reappeared at the doctor's office
and gave him the jar,which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened
and the man explained,"Well Doc ,its like this,first
I tried with my right hand ,but nothing.
Then I tried with my left hand but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help,
she tried with her right hand ,then her left,but nothing.
She even tried with her mouth,first with her teeth in,
then with them out ,
and still nothing.We even called up Charleen
the lady next door and she tried too,first with both hands,
then an
armpit and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees,
but still nothing!"
The doctor was shocked!
" You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied,
"Yep,but no matter what we tried we still couldn't
get the damn jar open!"
************************************************** ****************
The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too thin.
So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!
One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."
"My darling," he replied, "Think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."
************************************************** **************
A 75 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said,
" Take this jar home and bring me back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 75 year old man
reappeared at the doctor's office
and gave him the jar,which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened
and the man explained,"Well Doc ,its like this,first
I tried with my right hand ,but nothing.
Then I tried with my left hand but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help,
she tried with her right hand ,then her left,but nothing.
She even tried with her mouth,first with her teeth in,
then with them out ,
and still nothing.We even called up Charleen
the lady next door and she tried too,first with both hands,
then an
armpit and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees,
but still nothing!"
The doctor was shocked!
" You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied,
"Yep,but no matter what we tried we still couldn't
get the damn jar open!"
************************************************** ****************