Widgetsx3
11-26-2002, 05:13 PM
THINGS TO DO TO LIVEN UP THANKSGIVING DINNER
1. Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen, toss it
all in the blender, and take your "shake" back to the table.
Announce that it's the new Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake.
2. When everyone goes around to say what they are Thankful for,
say, "I'm thankful I didn't get caught" and refuse to say
anything more.
3. Bring along old recorded football games, pop them in the VCR
when Dad's not looking. Make sure it is set to the last two
minutes of the game. When he comes into the room, turn off the
VCR and turn on the regular TV.
4. Bring a date that only talks about the tragic and abusive
conditions known to exist at turkey farms.
5. During Mid-meal turn to mom and say, "See mom, I told you they
wouldn't notice that the Turkey was past expiration date. You
were worried for nothing."
YOU KNOW YOU ARE OVERDOING THANKSGIVING WHEN.
* Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy
* The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was a real 12' boat!
* You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail
* Friday you set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog
* Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy
* A guest quotes a Biblical passage from "The Feeding of the 5000"
* That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering wheel burn
* Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice
* You consider gluttony your patriotic duty
* Your arms are too short to reach the keyboard & delete this
1. Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen, toss it
all in the blender, and take your "shake" back to the table.
Announce that it's the new Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake.
2. When everyone goes around to say what they are Thankful for,
say, "I'm thankful I didn't get caught" and refuse to say
anything more.
3. Bring along old recorded football games, pop them in the VCR
when Dad's not looking. Make sure it is set to the last two
minutes of the game. When he comes into the room, turn off the
VCR and turn on the regular TV.
4. Bring a date that only talks about the tragic and abusive
conditions known to exist at turkey farms.
5. During Mid-meal turn to mom and say, "See mom, I told you they
wouldn't notice that the Turkey was past expiration date. You
were worried for nothing."
YOU KNOW YOU ARE OVERDOING THANKSGIVING WHEN.
* Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy
* The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was a real 12' boat!
* You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail
* Friday you set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog
* Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy
* A guest quotes a Biblical passage from "The Feeding of the 5000"
* That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering wheel burn
* Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice
* You consider gluttony your patriotic duty
* Your arms are too short to reach the keyboard & delete this