Jolie Rouge
11-12-2002, 11:38 AM
Differences Under President Woody Harrelson
By executive order, the new National Bird becomes "Twinkies."
"Ask not what your country can do for you -- ask if there's another bag of Doritos or a microwave burrito."
The President spends much more time flying around the country.
Sometimes he even uses Air Force One.
Every man will have a place to hang his hat, or his name isn't Woody.
Hugging trees -- mandatory.
Carnal relations with tree -- still illegal.
Immediate Federal Funding to train 4000 new Pizza Delivery Drivers Nationwide.
Secret Service agents trained to "talk the president down" after the imaginary spiders attack him.
"Big cats? Dude, I thought you said that money was for 'Save the Cheetos'!"
International Space Station budget slashed; funds funneled into new NASA project to see if the entire Universe is just, like, a speck of dirt underneath some giant dude's fingernail.
Chili dogs put on endangered species list.
Creation of new Federal Bongwater Disposal Superfund.
and THE #1 Difference of Life in America Under President Woody Harrelson...
No one would remember exactly when the President started his State of the Union address or how many times he paused to stare in fascination at the gnomes in the gallery.
By executive order, the new National Bird becomes "Twinkies."
"Ask not what your country can do for you -- ask if there's another bag of Doritos or a microwave burrito."
The President spends much more time flying around the country.
Sometimes he even uses Air Force One.
Every man will have a place to hang his hat, or his name isn't Woody.
Hugging trees -- mandatory.
Carnal relations with tree -- still illegal.
Immediate Federal Funding to train 4000 new Pizza Delivery Drivers Nationwide.
Secret Service agents trained to "talk the president down" after the imaginary spiders attack him.
"Big cats? Dude, I thought you said that money was for 'Save the Cheetos'!"
International Space Station budget slashed; funds funneled into new NASA project to see if the entire Universe is just, like, a speck of dirt underneath some giant dude's fingernail.
Chili dogs put on endangered species list.
Creation of new Federal Bongwater Disposal Superfund.
and THE #1 Difference of Life in America Under President Woody Harrelson...
No one would remember exactly when the President started his State of the Union address or how many times he paused to stare in fascination at the gnomes in the gallery.