chrissypoo
11-12-2002, 10:00 AM
Finally, something other than smiley faces....
Perfect breasts: (o)(o)
Fake silicone breasts: ( + )( + )
Perky breasts: (*)(*)
Big nipple breasts: (@)(@)
A cups: o o
D cups: { O }{ O }
DD cups: ((@))((@)) (mine)
Wonder bra breasts: (oYo)
Cold breasts: ( ^ )( ^ )
Lopsided breasts: (o)(O)
Pierced Breasts: (Q)(O)
Hanging Tassels Breasts: (p)(q)
Grandma's Breasts: \ o /\ o /
Against The Shower Door Breasts: ( )( )
Android Breasts: | o | | o |
Martha Stewart's Breasts: ($)($) And God created woman and she had 3 breasts. He then asked the woman, "Is there anything you'd like to have changed?" She replied, "Yes, could get rid of this middle breast?"
And so it was done, and it was good.
Then the woman exclaimed as she was holding the third breast in her hand, "What can be done with this useless boob?"
And God created man.
OK Girls--now that you have had your laugh, remember - October is breast cancer awareness month so have those boobs checked out and stay healthy.
One last one: Mammogram Breasts: || || And since we are on that subject......
DON'T SKIP THIS IF YOU'RE DUE!!
Mammogram Exercises November is Mammogram Awareness Month How to Prepare for Mammogram Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test. And best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in your home.
EXERCISE ONE:
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough.
EXERCISE TWO:
Visit your garage at 3 AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled.
Turn over and repeat with the other breast.
EXERCISE THREE:
Freeze two metal bookends over night. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.
YOU ARE NOW TOTALLY PREPARED! AND just a thought for all the women out there:
MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown, MENopause... Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men? And when we have real trouble, it's HISterectomy!!!
Send this to all the women you know and brighten their day AND don't forget to have a mammogram -- our lives really do depend on it, and the part you play in my life is so valuable that I ask you to endure the pain. And don't be timid or afraid.
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Perfect breasts: (o)(o)
Fake silicone breasts: ( + )( + )
Perky breasts: (*)(*)
Big nipple breasts: (@)(@)
A cups: o o
D cups: { O }{ O }
DD cups: ((@))((@)) (mine)
Wonder bra breasts: (oYo)
Cold breasts: ( ^ )( ^ )
Lopsided breasts: (o)(O)
Pierced Breasts: (Q)(O)
Hanging Tassels Breasts: (p)(q)
Grandma's Breasts: \ o /\ o /
Against The Shower Door Breasts: ( )( )
Android Breasts: | o | | o |
Martha Stewart's Breasts: ($)($) And God created woman and she had 3 breasts. He then asked the woman, "Is there anything you'd like to have changed?" She replied, "Yes, could get rid of this middle breast?"
And so it was done, and it was good.
Then the woman exclaimed as she was holding the third breast in her hand, "What can be done with this useless boob?"
And God created man.
OK Girls--now that you have had your laugh, remember - October is breast cancer awareness month so have those boobs checked out and stay healthy.
One last one: Mammogram Breasts: || || And since we are on that subject......
DON'T SKIP THIS IF YOU'RE DUE!!
Mammogram Exercises November is Mammogram Awareness Month How to Prepare for Mammogram Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test. And best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in your home.
EXERCISE ONE:
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough.
EXERCISE TWO:
Visit your garage at 3 AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled.
Turn over and repeat with the other breast.
EXERCISE THREE:
Freeze two metal bookends over night. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.
YOU ARE NOW TOTALLY PREPARED! AND just a thought for all the women out there:
MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown, MENopause... Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men? And when we have real trouble, it's HISterectomy!!!
Send this to all the women you know and brighten their day AND don't forget to have a mammogram -- our lives really do depend on it, and the part you play in my life is so valuable that I ask you to endure the pain. And don't be timid or afraid.
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