blueyez37811
10-31-2002, 06:13 AM
Compliments of Tonieb. I can't take credit for these!! Too Funny!
Here's one for you:
Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist!!
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at
the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all
traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent
incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the
windshields. British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to
test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.
The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the
experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions.
NASA responded with a one-line memo:
"Defrost the chicken."
>------------------------------------------------------------
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket, where she selected a
quart of milk, a carton of eggs, juice, and a package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyer belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind her, watched as she placed her items in front of the cashier.
He said, "You must be single."
The woman, a bit startled, but intrigued, looked at her four items on
the belt, and seeing nothing particularly unusual about her selections
said, "Well, y'know, that's right. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk said, "Cause you're uglier 'n s**t."
Here's one for you:
Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist!!
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at
the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all
traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent
incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the
windshields. British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to
test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.
The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the
experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions.
NASA responded with a one-line memo:
"Defrost the chicken."
>------------------------------------------------------------
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket, where she selected a
quart of milk, a carton of eggs, juice, and a package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyer belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind her, watched as she placed her items in front of the cashier.
He said, "You must be single."
The woman, a bit startled, but intrigued, looked at her four items on
the belt, and seeing nothing particularly unusual about her selections
said, "Well, y'know, that's right. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk said, "Cause you're uglier 'n s**t."