janelle
10-21-2002, 05:47 PM
Dear Abby: I am 16. My parents divorced when I was around 5. My mother married "Nick" four years ago. Nick used to do crack, and stopped just a year ago. He now shoplifts, then returns the things to get money. He considers this to be his "job." My brother, two years older than me, had to go live with my father because my mother feared that he would kill Nick. Nick used to beat up my mother for stupid reasons so she'd give him money. I will never forgive Nick for what he has done.
A few weeks ago, I discovered that he and Mom are doing some kind of drug. Even though Nick has stopped using crack, he still shoplifts and yells at my mom until she gives him money. I really can't say anything, because whenever I make a suggestion, he yells at me and hurts my mom more. I have an urge to kill him. I'd have called the cops by now, but my mom would be sad.
Abby, I've always heard that the way you're raised could rub off on you, and I fear that I might end up like them. I would go live with my dad, but I'm not close to him or my brother. I told my mom the other day that I wish it could just be me and her. She said, "I know." Can you give me some advice for any of this? --DESPERATE FOR HELP IN CALIFORNIA
Dear Desperate: Call your father. It is never too late to develop a relationship, and you need him. Your mother's passive acceptance of this volatile and dangerous situation is affecting you. It's important that you get away from it and into a healthy, loving and nurturing environment.
You were not put on this Earth to keep your mother from being sad. With luck, she may remove herself from the situation before she and her boyfriend are arrested. In the meantime, take care of yourself. You are NOT like them, so don't worry.
A few weeks ago, I discovered that he and Mom are doing some kind of drug. Even though Nick has stopped using crack, he still shoplifts and yells at my mom until she gives him money. I really can't say anything, because whenever I make a suggestion, he yells at me and hurts my mom more. I have an urge to kill him. I'd have called the cops by now, but my mom would be sad.
Abby, I've always heard that the way you're raised could rub off on you, and I fear that I might end up like them. I would go live with my dad, but I'm not close to him or my brother. I told my mom the other day that I wish it could just be me and her. She said, "I know." Can you give me some advice for any of this? --DESPERATE FOR HELP IN CALIFORNIA
Dear Desperate: Call your father. It is never too late to develop a relationship, and you need him. Your mother's passive acceptance of this volatile and dangerous situation is affecting you. It's important that you get away from it and into a healthy, loving and nurturing environment.
You were not put on this Earth to keep your mother from being sad. With luck, she may remove herself from the situation before she and her boyfriend are arrested. In the meantime, take care of yourself. You are NOT like them, so don't worry.