Jcowgirl77
09-21-2002, 02:29 PM
Betsy, a grammar-school teacher from Miami, remembers this
Oscar-worthy birth tableau from one of her students...
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two
kids myself,
but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own
second-grade
classroom a few years back.=
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a
few sessions
with my students. It helps them get over shyness and
experience a little
public speaking. And it gives me a break and some
guaranteed
entertainment
Usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet
turtles, model=
airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that
And I never
ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they
want to lug it
to school and talk about it, they're welcome.=
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very
out-
kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class=
with a=
pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot
of an infant
"This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you
about his
birthday. First, Mommy and Daddy made him as a symbol of=
their love, and then Daddy put a seed in my mother's
stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months=
through an umbrella cord."=
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm=
trying not to=
laugh and wishing I had a video camera rolling. The kids
are watching=
her in amazement
"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my mother starts going, 'Oh,=20
oh, oh!'=20
"Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked=20
around the=20
house for, like an hour, "Oh, oh, oh!' " Now the kid is=20
doing this=20
hysterical duck-walk, holding her back and groaning
"My father called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but=
she doesn't
have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my=
mother to lie=
down in bed like this." Erica lies down with her back=20
against the wall.=20
"And then, pop! My mother had this bag of water she kept in=20
there in=20
case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all=20
over the bed,=20
like psshhheew!" The kid has her legs spread and with her=20
little hands is=20
miming water flowing way. It was too much!=20
"Then the middle wife starts going push, push, and breathe,=20
breathe.They=20
start counting, but they never even got past ten. Then, all=20
of a sudden,=20
out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff they=20
said was from=20
the play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside=20
there."=20
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned=20
to her seat.=20
I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, if it's=20
show-and-tell=20
day, I bring my camcorder - just in case another Erica comes=20
along.=20
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Oscar-worthy birth tableau from one of her students...
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two
kids myself,
but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own
second-grade
classroom a few years back.=
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a
few sessions
with my students. It helps them get over shyness and
experience a little
public speaking. And it gives me a break and some
guaranteed
entertainment
Usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet
turtles, model=
airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that
And I never
ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they
want to lug it
to school and talk about it, they're welcome.=
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very
out-
kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class=
with a=
pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot
of an infant
"This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you
about his
birthday. First, Mommy and Daddy made him as a symbol of=
their love, and then Daddy put a seed in my mother's
stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months=
through an umbrella cord."=
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm=
trying not to=
laugh and wishing I had a video camera rolling. The kids
are watching=
her in amazement
"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my mother starts going, 'Oh,=20
oh, oh!'=20
"Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked=20
around the=20
house for, like an hour, "Oh, oh, oh!' " Now the kid is=20
doing this=20
hysterical duck-walk, holding her back and groaning
"My father called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but=
she doesn't
have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my=
mother to lie=
down in bed like this." Erica lies down with her back=20
against the wall.=20
"And then, pop! My mother had this bag of water she kept in=20
there in=20
case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all=20
over the bed,=20
like psshhheew!" The kid has her legs spread and with her=20
little hands is=20
miming water flowing way. It was too much!=20
"Then the middle wife starts going push, push, and breathe,=20
breathe.They=20
start counting, but they never even got past ten. Then, all=20
of a sudden,=20
out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff they=20
said was from=20
the play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside=20
there."=20
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned=20
to her seat.=20
I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, if it's=20
show-and-tell=20
day, I bring my camcorder - just in case another Erica comes=20
along.=20
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