Chores for teenagers?

[sharinbo]

OK...I am raising my brothers, who are 14 and 12. They are homeschooled, and have priveleges I would have KILLED for at their ages. Our mother lives with us, so I can help care for her, but basically her only input regarding the boys is to spoil them. She wants no part of discipline, chores, education, or resposibility. (Her mental issues have led us to the living situation we are in now.)
ANYWAY...(sheesh, I ramble when I'm tired!)... the boys seem to think they are WAAAAY overworked, LOL. I told them I would ask you all about what an appropriate amount of housework/chores would be for boys their ages.
Any input?

[Queensown]

well... When I was a teenager (That sounds so weird to me, I'm 22, and haven't admitted to myself I'm not a kid anymore LOL) I had to keep my own room and bathroom "neat" I had to keep my laundry in the correct hamper or it wouldn't get washed. I had to fold my own clean laundry. I fed and took care of the cat and dog, I did dishes 3 days a week and I Vaccumed once a week. If I did that I was given $10 - $15 and allowed to go the movies or mall with my friends on Friday night. If I wanted some extra money (before I was old enough to have a part time job) I washed the car or dusted or something similar to earn some extra cash.

I didn't resent my mom for what I had to do because I knew I could NOT do it, but I would lose my fun friday night. And I don't think I ever missed getting to go out! =)

[chrissypoo]

My input....

Most children (especially boys) are lazy at that age. Of course they will feel overworked.
Absolutely do they need chores. Taking out the trash, dishes, learning how to do their laundry (mainly putting it away if you don't want them to run the machines), clean their rooms, and some yard work if you have a yard.
Now, children do need positive reinforcement and should be praised for jobs well done. I would keep a calendar of some sorts with their name and assigned chore. If at the end of the week all things are done, then they may get rewarded in whatever you deem appropriate.
If things are not done, then there should be consequences such as no computer or TV or whatever.
Children only learn responsibility by doing and watching examples.
I am a mom of two adult children and when mine were the age your two are now, they did have chores. They had to learn that things were earned, not just handed over to them.
I admire you for raising your two brothers and taking care of your Mom. You deserve a BIG reward!

[Barbara690]

What I tell my teenagers is that chores have two purposes,1.if your a part of this family then everyone has to contribute to keeping the house neat and clean,2.chores for kids are practice for when they grow up and get a home of their own.They'll know how to cook and clean the right way.
My teenagers have to keep their rooms and their bathroom clean,help with the kitchen,keep the house vacumed and dusted.I've now moved on to one night a week we have a cooking lesson(yes we have to eat what they cook,OMG!),help with the yard work,keeping the cars clean,etc.
Some people may think that they are worked too hard,but they are rewarded well too and they are happy,well adjusted kids now.These are step kids that 3yrs ago were lazy,sneaky,disrespectful,hateful,etc.It took a good two years of being consistent with the rules,chores,and love,lots of love.

[MOMMYOF2BOYZ]

Originally posted by chrissypoo
My input....

Most children (especially boys) are lazy at that age. Of course they will feel overworked.
Absolutely do they need chores. Taking out the trash, dishes, learning how to do their laundry (mainly putting it away if you don't want them to run the machines), clean their rooms, and some yard work if you have a yard.
Now, children do need positive reinforcement and should be praised for jobs well done. I would keep a calendar of some sorts with their name and assigned chore. If at the end of the week all things are done, then they may get rewarded in whatever you deem appropriate.
If things are not done, then there should be consequences such as no computer or TV or whatever.
Children only learn responsibility by doing and watching examples.
I am a mom of two adult children and when mine were the age your two are now, they did have chores. They had to learn that things were earned, not just handed over to them.
I admire you for raising your two brothers and taking care of your Mom. You deserve a BIG reward!

[smeans]

i also admire you for raising your brothers and caring for your mom.

(((((((sharinbo)))))))

i agree with everyone elses responses.;)

[ahippiechic]

ooooppsss! :p

[ahippiechic]

When my son was that age, he kept the trash taken out, put his clean laundry away, cleaned his room & bathroom, and one night each week, he cooked dinner & did the dishes. Once a month, he cleaned out the garage, & during the summer, he mowed once week. He didn't mind the outdoor chores, but usually had to be reminded about the indoor ones. (sometimes, we had to remind him ALOT!) He also thought he was over worked & under rewarded. But now that he's 22, he says he doesn't think the chores were that bad. He knows how to cook, do laundry, things like that. We gave him 10.00 a week, plus privilages, & he could earn more money by doing extra things around the house. On his nights to cook, it was usually pizza, tacos or spaghetti, but after working 10 hours, it was nice to get to come home & relax a few minutes, without having to start cooking dinner.

When I was growing up, I no chores, no responsiblities at all. I had never done a load of laundry untill I got married! Than all at once, I had to take care of not only me, but a house, a hubby & pretty soon, a baby! I was SO not ready!

[menanamama]

pick up their bedroom daily
put their dishes away (sink or whatever)
switch days...one sets the table and clears it...the other does the dishes
vaccum daily
pick up their own laundry and put it in the RIGHT PLACE...i wish i could get mine to do anything

[menanamama]

pick up their bedroom daily
put their dishes away (sink or whatever)
switch days...one sets the table and clears it...the other does the dishes
vaccum daily
pick up their own laundry and put it in the RIGHT PLACE...i wish i could get mine to do anything...they need responsibilitie or they think the world owes them something and are real pains....i have a sd who had no responsibility and is so...........don't even want to get into it..........

[Widgetsx3]

Back in the dark ages when I was a teenager, I was expected to keep my room clean, grades up, feed animals, sort dirty laundry, put away clean laundry. Shared dishes and vacuuming responsibilities with sister, and my mom attempted to teach me to cook (I love the woman..but she is NOT a good cook)

My 10 yr old (no teens yet) is expected to keep her room clean, grades up, put laundry in hamper, and hang up clean clothes. We are teaching cooking now.

I think (especially with boys...you are training some poor womans future husband) that is is important that they learn how much work is truly placed into keeping a home clean and running.

I admire you for raising your brothers...I am sure you are doing an amazing job!

[Lasher]

I didn't have that many chores when I was that age, but it was because I was taking advanced classes, and would come home from school and spend 5-6 a night studying and doing homework. I was responsible for keeping my room, and the guest bathroom clean, and I did my own laundry on the weekends. During the summer I did alot more, but my Dad was pretty easy on me about my chores during the school year.
I think it's important to do them, teaches you to take care of yourself and responsibility, and as long as it's not affecting school work, it ain't gonna kill 'em.
Now I work full-time, go to school full-time, and do all the chores, lol.
I'd love to go back to just having to pick up my room and doing laundry on the weekends:D

[Tasha405]

When my son was that age, he kept the trash taken out, put his clean laundry away, cleaned his room & bathroom, My son just turned 11 and those are his chores, plus he goes to get the mail after school. He will start mowing the lawn next summer though. He cleans up the yard during summer months too.

He hates doing chores but I think it will only help him for when he is older.

[menanamama]

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bwahahaha

[menanamama]

;)

[Tasha405]

edited by me

[menanamama]

;)

[Tasha405]

Originally posted by h2223m
i would have flipped
first at my dd...then eventually get over it...but who ever daddy was would get arrested and sent off to the grey bar hotel well...oh never mind:rolleyes:

[menanamama]

;)

[menanamama]

;)

[Tasha405]

Well thanks for telling everyone by business on here.

[Tasha405]

Thank you Mom2!! {{{{{hugs}}}}}

[sharinbo]

Thanks everyone!

Oh, and they are homeschooled using a self-directed method, so the "grades up" thing is not an issue.:D

I wash laundry IF it is brought in for me to be washed. If it's not there, I can't wash it, so they have to wash their own clothes. That's usually the case, because they seem to enjoy living amongst their smelly laundry.:rolleyes:

I do have them wash the towels and sheets as needed.
They are expected to take turns loading the dishwasher and putting away dishes.
I don't hassle them about their rooms unless there are dirty dishes to be brought out-then I get mad and they have to do a THOROUGH bedroom cleaning. (That happens maybe once or twice a month.)
They take turns mowing the lawn in the summer. They take the dogs out during the summer, because I am very allergic to mosquito bites.
They also take turns straightening up the living room and vacuuming(harhar...I've noticed that when a chore needs to be done, the corresponding tool ends up mysteriously broken, hence my vacuum does not work well now).
They take turns cleaning the cat box.

I do ALL the cooking except when the twelve year old wants to experiment (he LOVES to cook but only wants to make expensive, complicated dishes, LOL) I do all the dusting, and the majority of the actual cleaning around here. Not to mention all the chores I have to go do over because they do a lousy quickie job.
They get $40.00 a month allowance, each have their own computers in their rooms, each have a tv/vcr in their rooms, plus all kinds of "cool stuff". They don't have to use their allowances to buy anything for themselves becasue anything they want, mom usually ends up getting for them. They pretty much are used to getting whatever they want, thanks to mom, so I am kind of having to counteract all of that. "Earning" what you want is a new concept for them. Their allowances usually get spent taking each other out to lunch at fast food restaurants near here <sigh>

I love them and I want to do a good job taking care of them. I know how I was as a teenager, and I am DREADING life around here if they get as bad as I was.

I think sometimes, I just need to be reminded about what's "normal" for their age. You all were right when you asked, "Is there a teenager out there who DOESN'T think they are overworked???" They have been getting some serious attitudes lately and I've been really having to remind myself to choose my battles...some stuff is just NOT worth it, right?

Anyway, thanks again for all the input!

[menanamama]

i didn't mean to offend you at all and i am really sorry i did...i will edit...please accept my appologies. i figured since you mentioned his age and you posted yours in your bios and what not it would not upset you............:( :( off to edit...I AM REALLY SORRY I UPSET YOU HUN

[angelinwaiting]

My 12 year old does:

keep limbs picked up outside
keep all our animals watered(and that is a huge job that he hates)
takes out trash
takes out scraps
keeps his room clean
fill up ice trays(he hates this too)
helps Dad mow the yard
feeds all our animals 3 days a week


and he has always put his own clothes away since he was old enough to walk...I would take him in his room and show him where to put them and I am doing the same things with my 3 year old....




If he does everything he is supppose to do, he gets $10.00 a week and sometimes more....for a bad attitude, he gets points taken away thus less money....

[menanamama]

wow angel...wtg on the getting yours to do so much...i think too many kids today don't have enough responsibility...mine are 3 (almost) and 1 so i have a while to drill the you better help out theory...lol

[miccit]

My kids are 10, 8, 6 and 4. They all have chores. And they all think they are the most overworked people in the world. It is good for them to learn at an early age responsibility. They don't do anything hard. They have to clean their rooms, clear the table after eating, the oldest takes out the trash, they have to keep all their stuff cleaned up, bring me their laundry (or I will not wash it), and dust. I don't think that is too much.

[janelle]

sharinbo--I know what you are gong through. SS who thought he was worked too much just to take the trash out once a week. Going back and forth between houses didn't help things. I'm not saying this arrangement won't work but if the adults on one end won't support you then it's really bad. Kid takes off and goes back to mommy.

If you and your mother don't co-operate here you will have a hand full and the boys will not learn a thing except how to manipulate. Your mom needs to back you up on the chores. If the kids sense any disagreement between the two of you about chores or disipline of them they will use it for their benefit and chaos will rein. My hubby and I had to be a team but it was easy for me since he is my hubby's son. You may have more guilt feelings with it being your mother.

Think you may need to start by sitting down with your mom and agree on what chores are appropriate. Write it down and stick with it. The boys need to try to do everything. A learning experience.

My hubby is a great cook, he always picks up after himself and get this, even puts the lid down on the toilet every time. Can't get much better than that. I'm convinced he got this way from coming from a large family. All the kids had to do for themselves and others in the family when their turn came. When he was old enough to cook the dinner for the whole family he did it. His older siblings were busy with school things so he bellied up to the bar just like his sibs did when it was their turn.

His brother remembers his mother teaching him how to cook pancakes when he was little. He had to stand on a chair to see the stove. She told him when they needed to be turned and he learned.

Maybe God was helping this woman do the right thing for the future. She died at the age of 54 before all her kids were out of the nest. My hubby is second to youngest. They also all ate around a table at night and whoever set the table had to set it right. Knife, fork, and spoon where they go. The kids taught each other. They knew how to act out in public. Isn't the family just a small part of a bigger society. It really helps to be taught how to act in the larger world.

One other thing that concerns me is why your brothers each have a computer in their room? For younger kids a computer out in a family room is safer. We've heard of the people who will prey on kids and it's really scarey. I'm sure you heard of the case in Wichita where the pedophile lured the girl to meet him when he came here. The police picked him up when he got to town only because the girl had the smarts to tell her folks.

Other than that sweetie I think you are doing a marvolous job taking on all this resbonsibility and your brothers are fortunate to have you. They will appreciate it all some day when they mature.;)

[cpbaby]

I have a 13 yr old and a 8 yr old.

My 13 yr old does laundry, sorts, washes, dries, folds, and puts away. He also keeps his brother until I get home on the days I work late. He is responsible for making sure the daycare gets paid before the late charge kicks in(Im at work so he gives them my money). He cuts, rakes, and bales hay and also packs it in from the field. He plows, discs, bushhogs. He helps work the cows. He feeds the cows, goes and counts the cows, and works in tobacco(sets, cuts, spikes and puts it in the barn). He also mows yards and works on the neigbors vehicles(Im not saying this is a GOOD thing, I wouldnt let him work on MY car or anything)In the fall he helps with the harvesting of whatever crops are out and he also rakes and bags leaves.


The 8 yr old keeps his room clean, vacums every room in my house, crushes cans, keeps the Guinea Pigs cage clean and feeds and waters the guinea pig. He push mows, helps work cows, and somtimes counts cows. He cleans the bathroom, scrubs the bathtub, sink, and toilet. He helps fold towels and washcloths and dish clothes and puts them away. He is ACHING to drive a tractor but hes still to small.

[sharinbo]

Thanks, and I do agree with the majority of what you said. Mom agrees that the boys need to do their chores, but because she has always given in to their every whim, they now have no respect for her. She is physically incapable of following them around and making sure the chores get done, so they see her as the person who sits around and points her finger. That's a whole other issue we are working on.
As for the computers....they have them mainly for their schooling. We actually have our systems set up so that we can see EXACTLY what they are doing online at ANY TIME. (We can actually bring up screen shots on our computers in the living room and dining room and see every keystroke they make AS they type!) They know this, and are aware that they are being monitored by us at all times. They have certain times they are allowed to use their computers, and their doors stay open during that time. They know that one infraction with their computers will mean they lose them, so they are very good about that.