My thrill for the night and a question... [Archive] - Big Big Forums

jaybird

08-24-2002, 09:18 PM

HOW do you remove a rottweiler from your leg?

Answer...very carefully.

I went outside for a smoke about 10-15 minutes ago (who looks at the clock and times things like that?) Mr. & Mrs. Hickabilly just came home (my new neighbors aka the Clampetts) Let their dogs out. The rott comes straight over to my patio (he's normally tied up) and attachs himself firmly to my leg and starts humping away.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

I tried shooshing him nicely (NOT knowing his temperment beyond obviously horny) and he didn't budge. So here I am sitting on my patio with this 100 pound rotty attached to my right leg. Freaking hickabilly starts calling for his dog and I said (real nice and neighborly) You'll find him and his wenis attached firmly to my leg.

GOOD GRIEF. Is that what my life's become and if so, what a sad statement of my life.

the fugative

08-24-2002, 09:22 PM

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

You got Animal Magnetism EH? :D

jaybird

08-24-2002, 09:29 PM

Sad, isn't it? I've lost it.

((wine anyone?))

Danny

08-24-2002, 09:33 PM

I hope you at least offer him a cigarette when he's done!

It's only neighborly you know

Jolie Rouge

08-24-2002, 09:34 PM

POUNCE !!

POUNCE !!

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POUNCE !!

POUNCE !!

POUNCE !!

whole *NEW* meaning now .....

BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !

jaybird

08-24-2002, 09:36 PM

Gosh Danny. Where ARE my manners tonight? :rolleyes:

Was sort of a slambamthankyamaam sort of encounter, you know?

Yes Jolie. I was 'pounced,' and thoroughly. Hmmm, does that count as cheating on dahubby??? CRIPES!

flute

08-24-2002, 09:37 PM

Jolie OMG LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had SUCH a bad day I needed a laugh like that ya'll! :(

Danny

08-24-2002, 09:37 PM

Only if it was good for you too......

jaybird

08-24-2002, 09:38 PM

Ya, every time Jolie pounces me now I'm going to have a visual of her attached to my leg.

NEXT ON JERRY SPRINGER...

Danny

08-24-2002, 09:38 PM

PS - Why is that woman pouncing in technicolor???? I have wondered for awhile

jaybird

08-24-2002, 09:38 PM

Originally posted by Danny
Only if it was good for you too......
:eek: :eek: :eek:

((wasn't bad for a quickie...))

Danny

08-24-2002, 09:39 PM

Sorry - you cheated then!

jaybird

08-24-2002, 09:40 PM

Originally posted by Danny
PS - Why is that woman pouncing in technicolor???? I have wondered for awhile
It means she loves me. :D
And that's no woman, that's Jolie Rouge, the kajunkween, my knucklehead, the 2nd of the 3 Stooges and an official booboohead.

History of a pounce:
http://forums.bigbigsavings.com/showthread.php3?s=&threadid=217185&highlight=pounce

miccit

08-24-2002, 09:41 PM

Jaybird Sorry that happened to you (covering my mouth cause it is just plain rude to laugh at someones misfortune). If it makes you feel any better our old neighbors had a rott that would put his paws on your shoulder and hump your nether regions. That was just plain gross and scary cause he would knock you over.

Sorry didn't mean to laugh at you. It just struck me as funny.

flute

08-24-2002, 09:42 PM

Ohhh i just thought ya'll were a lil hmm...how shall we say..*edited for content* :eek: :D:D

Queensown

08-24-2002, 09:43 PM

LOL! And I thought it was bad when my FIL's dog does this to my leg when we visit... at least his dog is a tiny poodle LOL. Much easier to pry away from.

flute

08-24-2002, 09:45 PM

Originally posted by Queensown
LOL! And I thought it was bad when my FIL's dog does this to my leg when we visit... at least his dog is a tiny poodle LOL. Much easier to pry away from.
at least the dog humping you isn't a STRANGER!!

Danny

08-24-2002, 09:45 PM

AHHHH! Now I understand - thanks for the link. Still makes me a little nervous to see all those big colored letters following people around!

jaybird

08-24-2002, 09:47 PM

Originally posted by miccit
nether regions

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Now that's funny.

Don't apologize for laughing. I posted it because afterwards IT WAS FUNNY. Not particularly funny at the time, because although his lower body was wrapped tightly around my leg, his head was eye level with MY nether regions and I wasn't looking forward to a trip to the ER to have canine canines removed from Virginia!

flute

08-24-2002, 09:47 PM

:eek: :eek: :eek:

jaybird

08-24-2002, 09:48 PM

Originally posted by Danny
AHHHH! Now I understand - thanks for the link. Still makes me a little nervous to see all those big colored letters following people around!

You get used to it. In fact, you miss it when Jolie doesn't pounce you. It's quite a compliment.

((wanna pounce?)) :D

POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
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POUNCE !!...infinity...

wasitgoodforyou?

miccit

08-24-2002, 09:50 PM

Oh and Jaybird I don't think it counts as cheating on your husband unless it is with someone of the same species. ;) Don't anyone get any sick ideas though, 'kay?:D I don't think that excuse will hold up in divorce court!

Jolie Rouge

08-24-2002, 09:51 PM

Danny

08-24-2002, 09:52 PM

OOOOOHHHH BABY!!!!!!

Ummmm - what's that Dear? Oh nothing - I'm just on a new joke site on the internet - you go right back to sleep & I'll try and be a little quieter.

Sorry - a word there from my sponsor!!

Nobody has ever pounced me that well!!!

jaybird

08-24-2002, 09:58 PM

Originally posted by miccit
Oh and Jaybird I don't think it counts as cheating on your husband unless it is with someone of the same species. ;) Don't anyone get any sick ideas though, 'kay?:D I don't think that excuse will hold up in divorce court!

Oh Got. Now I'm not only an adultress, I'm a kinky one into beastiality.

I might as well go throw myself off the Arch.

flute

08-24-2002, 09:59 PM

:eek: :eek: :eek:

jaybird

08-24-2002, 10:00 PM

Originally posted by Danny
OOOOOHHHH BABY!!!!!!

Ummmm - what's that Dear? Oh nothing - I'm just on a new joke site on the internet - you go right back to sleep & I'll try and be a little quieter.

Sorry - a word there from my sponsor!!

Nobody has ever pounced me that well!!!
You will know when you've been 'pounced' by Jolie! I garoontee.

Umm Danny, you waking up the little woman? There's been times here when I've laughed out loud so, well, so LOUD that I've woke olwhatshisname & scared the dog!

miccit

08-24-2002, 10:01 PM

No!!! You are neither. Did you proposition said Rottweiler? NO! Well then you are innocent !!! You can't help it the Clampett's dog is a perv!

flute

08-24-2002, 10:02 PM

ya'll r makin me laugh ty :D:D:D:D:D

Danny

08-24-2002, 10:06 PM

You're only in trouble if the Rot left money on your dresser before he said godnight!

Jolie Rouge

08-24-2002, 10:07 PM

Danny : OOOOOHHHH BABY!!!!!!

Nobody has ever pounced me that well!!!

{{{{SMOOCHES}}}}

jaybird

08-24-2002, 10:08 PM

Originally posted by miccit
No!!! You are neither. Did you proposition said Rottweiler? NO! Well then you are innocent !!! You can't help it the Clampett's dog is a perv!

That's right. He molested me. ((that's my story and I'm sticking to it))

You're only in trouble if the Rot left money on your dresser before he said godnight!

>>>dajaybird<<<hides the box of Milk Bones Big Boy left on the patio table!

miccit

08-24-2002, 10:09 PM

I was just about to say he is a rott, how much money could he have? Now if he starts bringing you bones and digging up flowers for you I would worry!;)

Danny

08-24-2002, 10:13 PM

Danny leaves the thread singing "Rott & Roll.....Hootchie Kooooooooo!"

jaybird

08-24-2002, 10:15 PM

Danny leaves the thread singing "Rott & Roll.....Hootchie Kooooooooo!"
HEY! Let's leave hoochies out of this. That nether region was in dire danger for awhile!!!

miccit

08-24-2002, 10:18 PM

Poor dog! New in town, no friends, obviously looking for love in all the wrong places. And here we sit making fun of him. Who are the animals??:D

Danny

08-24-2002, 10:18 PM

" OOOH -OOH - It's only Rott & roll - but I liiiiiiike it!"

jaybird

08-24-2002, 10:19 PM

Originally posted by Danny
" OOOH -OOH - It's only Rott & roll - but I liiiiiiike it!"

Was more like Love on the Run...

jaybird

08-24-2002, 10:20 PM

Originally posted by miccit
Poor dog! New in town, no friends, obviously looking for love in all the wrong places. And here we sit making fun of him. Who are the animals??:D

ROFLMSAO! They have 4 dogs, a rotty, an Irish Setter, a lab pup and some sort of little ankle biter. He could have easily had his way with that anklebiter.

miccit

08-24-2002, 10:23 PM

Yeah, but he was looking for new friends. Not ones he has already tried, I mean met.

Now I have that darn Eddie Murphy Buckwheat impersonation in my head. The one where he is singing Lookin for Love only it sounds like Looking for Nub. DH thinks I am insane now!:)