Fot those who adopted or gave up their baby for adoption.

[janelle]

Mom salutes birth mom for giving up her child
Wire column

Dear Abby: Twenty years ago I decided to place my child for adoption. I was 19, unmarried, and did not have the means to support a baby.
Your Mother's Day column that year included a tribute to mothers who unselfishly placed their children for adoption. I cut it out and have carried it in my wallet ever since. I know other birth mothers would also find comfort from reading it. Would you consider printing it again? --JULIANA IN BOISE, IDAHO

Dear Juliana: With pleasure.


Dear Abby: I hope you will use my letter on Mother's Day as a tribute to those brave, unselfish mothers who have placed their babies for adoption.

I am a new mother whose heart is overflowing with gratitude to a 15-year-old girl I have never seen. I understand that she is a beautiful, intelligent person who became pregnant accidentally and decided on her own that her baby should have a better life than she was able to provide, so she agreed to allow her baby to be adopted.

As soon as our son is able to understand, I shall tell him about his "real" mother and what a courageous person she is.

In the meantime, I pray daily for her well-being and good fortune. --BLESSED

Dear Blessed: Thank you for an appropriate letter for Mother's Day. I agree that placing a child for adoption for his or her own good is the ultimate in unselfishness. God bless those mothers who do.

[manicsbaby]

I was adopted, but under different circumstances. I am and have been close to my birth dad for almost 20 yrs, I have a step sister, step brother,a half sister (and a birth brother who was adopted out also.)My dad had no choice, but my mother did. Long story with many affects to us, but to say the only thing good about my birth mother, thank God she was where she was so we would be adopted out.To imagine life with that life is beyond understanding.My Dads family got a hold of us and brought us to where we are now. My Dad had left her months before: he didnt know the future had something stored ahead for us. If he had known things might have changed.My mother and I did get in touch but I dropped it really quick when I noticed she still lives the style of life she had before and still wanted.

[DezaRay24]

I was adopted too and sadly I hate being adopted. I know the life I would have had probly would have been worse and I'm sure it was tough for her but I just don't see how after 25 yrs she can't make any attemt to try to contact me. I don't have ANY info that would help me find her and I don't have any money to pay what the adoption places want you to pay for information they won't promise that it will help you find the person you are looking for. The family I have now I don't get along with any of them and never have expecially my mother. I just think adoption has left a bad taste in my mouth so that I don't think I would ever adopt a kid since I would be affraid of them hating me like I hate my mother.

[Angel~Chihuahua]

well i am not adopted, but i do plan on adopting a child, not a baby, but a child later in my life. there are so many children (not babies since they are hard to get) that need caring, loving, families. These children dont know what its like to have a stable home and family and i want to be able to give a child that stable home that he or she doesnt know.

[manicsbaby]

Actually if it was not for the 4 kids we have Id adopt, Id also like to be a foster mother but with all going on in our lives, it seems that our kids dont get as much of us as we would like as it is now. I was very lucky, my adopted parents had all the papers/letters etc from my adoption, they knew my birth dad's family also. I was adopted through Childrens Aid but somehow through the church my adopted parents belonged to.Ive been lucky enough to know my birth fathers name, b mothers name etc. I did a search as he did a search for me when i was 18. We found each other through my adopted mother, she was in the province visiting her parents and did a few calls and got me going on my search. I knew my family's history basically before I met my b dad. I now call my bdad :dad and my adopted dad :dad. They all are understanding and supportive of each other. Thank God for this.
Im not real close to my adopted mom, a few comments over the years, a few battles we had etc. But Dad was always on my side and pushed mom to have a bit more faith in me or whatever you want to call it. They had an older boy, my brother, we are real close too, then they adopted a little girl younger then me, we are not close. So there is rivalry in the family but none of it comes from or stems from our adoptions or backgrounds. Just a few personality conflicts and barriers. So still I am very thankful to be one of the luckier ones with being adopted and in knowing my birth family etc. To me its the same as being born into the family. Theres lots of families with conflicts etc. same as we have. And no adoptions there.I wish others could have had some of this luck. Im sorry for how you feel, how you have been treated, and how life has dealt you, and wish it gets better for you somehow!Just keep smiling and be positive about yourself, make your life the best that you can and be happy. I was once told i was going to go to hell, and I said if I go there its ONLY MY fault and no one elses, I choose the path to take, no one chooses for me.

[Widgetsx3]

My sister and I were both adopted at birth and are very grateful to our birth mother for having the courage to give us up. We have learned later in life the stories in both cases. In my case my birth mother was 20, had a couple kids already, did not believe in, nor was abortion readily available at that time. She could not afford another mouth and gave me up. My sister's case was quite different. Her birth mother was 15 and her parents tried to force a backroom abortion. She ran away from home and then gave my sister up. We have both done a search for our birth mother with the full blessing and assistance of our Mother(The bestest Mom in the world). She has provided us with names, addresses (from the time of adoption), attorney name, DR names and so on. Neither of us have had much luck. We do not search to fulfill anything but the blanks in our medical history (both of us have had serious medical probs, and now have kids of our own)

{{{{{Dezaray}}}}}: I am sorry your adoption story is what it is. But believe me, adoption is rewarding in most cases for the adoptee and adoptive parent. The opportunity to love a child should be embraced for the pure joy that it is. But in all honesty, the circumstances surrounding your birth may be painful in more ways than one. She may also not want to upset your life, should you have not been told the truth of your birth.

[janelle]

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