jaybird
01-15-2002, 10:38 PM
PLEASE DON'T SEND ME TO BIGBIGTIMEOUT. I was forced into this by mommyx2 and flute and several others.
A preface:
This is a true story. It happened last May, involving myself, my mom, (then 75) my dot and her closest guy friend (they've been friends since they were 3 or 4, close as brother and sister in every respect)
Last May, my mom and I drove to Muncie to help Sarah pack up to move back home for the summer. It was Friday, the last day of school (officially) and all over campus kids were celebrating the end of finals and another year, barbequeing, partying etc etc. Sarah wanted to stop by a friend's house who was having a big bbq, kids, parents etc. We got to Jessica's and the back yard is full of probably 30 kids, (21 year olds mostly) and a few parents. Her best guy friend from childhood goes to school there as well (transferred in his junior year) He was a wee bit wasted. UNDERSTATEMENT. He'd been drinking vodka and Red Bull (a non-alcoholic stimulant drink) On and around campus, most houses and apartments have the kiddy type swimming pools in the yards, you know, the 1' deep ones, or the inflatable ones. Well N (we'll protect his identity) was out of control, and definitely the center of attention and the life (laugh??) of the party. He jumped into the pool in his khakis, Palm Pilot, cell phone, wallet and all in his pocket. Hopped out, pulled off his khakis. Now understand N had on VERY thin, plain white boxers, sopping wet, that were sagging down to his pubes practically. I've known this kid since he was 2 foot tall and I'm about to die...mortified for his mom who would have laid down and had a heart attack then and there. (Please note, across the street from this house is a Church of God, with people hanging around) N gets up on a lawn chair, spreads his arms and does a perfect swan dive into the pool. Stands up. Boxers are around his knees. Of course he's wasted.
Sarah is hysterical. "OH MY GOD N, pull your pants up. MY GRAMMA can see your wenis. PULL THEM UP!"
WENIS. We are all dying laughing at the 2 of them!!!
After about 5 minutes of coaxing and threatening him with his life, Sarah gets N out of the pool and gets his boxers back on him. Sarah is chastising him thoroughly for showing his wenis to her grandmother. Just reaming him. He comes down off his buzz a little, comes over to my mom (who he's known forever) and says, "Gramma, you didn't see my wenis did you? You didn't really see my wenis." (Now remember, there's about 40 people total watching this go on and just cracking up)
My mom doesn't crack a smile and doesn't miss a beat. Looks N right in the eye and says, "Yes I did, but don't worry about it. It's not all that. I've seen lots better."
N's jaw drops to his chest, totally speechless, beet red, crowd goes nuts.
Poor N will never live it down, Gramma seeing his wenis.
And we will never let him.
She saw him over the summer at our house and he sort of grimaced and she said, "Hey N, how's the wenis?"
Gotta love that woman. And you all wonder where I get it from!!!
Honest to God true story.
(HAPPY NOW mommyx2 and everyone?)
IF I go to the BigBigTimeOut chair I'm taking ya'll with me! :D
A preface:
This is a true story. It happened last May, involving myself, my mom, (then 75) my dot and her closest guy friend (they've been friends since they were 3 or 4, close as brother and sister in every respect)
Last May, my mom and I drove to Muncie to help Sarah pack up to move back home for the summer. It was Friday, the last day of school (officially) and all over campus kids were celebrating the end of finals and another year, barbequeing, partying etc etc. Sarah wanted to stop by a friend's house who was having a big bbq, kids, parents etc. We got to Jessica's and the back yard is full of probably 30 kids, (21 year olds mostly) and a few parents. Her best guy friend from childhood goes to school there as well (transferred in his junior year) He was a wee bit wasted. UNDERSTATEMENT. He'd been drinking vodka and Red Bull (a non-alcoholic stimulant drink) On and around campus, most houses and apartments have the kiddy type swimming pools in the yards, you know, the 1' deep ones, or the inflatable ones. Well N (we'll protect his identity) was out of control, and definitely the center of attention and the life (laugh??) of the party. He jumped into the pool in his khakis, Palm Pilot, cell phone, wallet and all in his pocket. Hopped out, pulled off his khakis. Now understand N had on VERY thin, plain white boxers, sopping wet, that were sagging down to his pubes practically. I've known this kid since he was 2 foot tall and I'm about to die...mortified for his mom who would have laid down and had a heart attack then and there. (Please note, across the street from this house is a Church of God, with people hanging around) N gets up on a lawn chair, spreads his arms and does a perfect swan dive into the pool. Stands up. Boxers are around his knees. Of course he's wasted.
Sarah is hysterical. "OH MY GOD N, pull your pants up. MY GRAMMA can see your wenis. PULL THEM UP!"
WENIS. We are all dying laughing at the 2 of them!!!
After about 5 minutes of coaxing and threatening him with his life, Sarah gets N out of the pool and gets his boxers back on him. Sarah is chastising him thoroughly for showing his wenis to her grandmother. Just reaming him. He comes down off his buzz a little, comes over to my mom (who he's known forever) and says, "Gramma, you didn't see my wenis did you? You didn't really see my wenis." (Now remember, there's about 40 people total watching this go on and just cracking up)
My mom doesn't crack a smile and doesn't miss a beat. Looks N right in the eye and says, "Yes I did, but don't worry about it. It's not all that. I've seen lots better."
N's jaw drops to his chest, totally speechless, beet red, crowd goes nuts.
Poor N will never live it down, Gramma seeing his wenis.
And we will never let him.
She saw him over the summer at our house and he sort of grimaced and she said, "Hey N, how's the wenis?"
Gotta love that woman. And you all wonder where I get it from!!!
Honest to God true story.
(HAPPY NOW mommyx2 and everyone?)
IF I go to the BigBigTimeOut chair I'm taking ya'll with me! :D