upset... - Page 2 - Big Big Forums

ttistin · 11-02-2009, 12:45 AM

I just can't believe how they could do that to their own grandchild. We spent her last 3 birthdays in Alabama, you would think they would make it a point to be there for her this year.

I just wish they would step back and see what they are doing to their son. They are not thinking that they are pushing him away and it wont be long before he won't let them in his life at all.

I know they blame me for everything that has happened and that is fine, I don't care. But don't take it out on dh or my kids. I don't know if I am more upset or hurt over it.

mosdata1 · 11-02-2009, 01:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ttistin

Plus I do not want to put the kids in that position, would rather try to keep them out of all of this as much as possible...not an easy thing to do though

It's hard enough on your DD, def don't put her in the middle of their mess.

I would be writing them off so fast, they wouldn't know what hit them.

I'm so sorry for your dd.

krisharry · 11-02-2009, 12:19 PM

Aww, that really sucks for your dd. BTDT though. My mil never had time for my kids just my sils. It's hard when someone hurts your child like that. Time to cut his parents loose.

mosdata1 · 11-02-2009, 12:50 PM

You just never know with family. My fil before he died, would be very hurt & upset with us if we didn't call by early evening for his b'day, father's day, etc. However, he NEVER called any of our children, or his son even for any of their days. I used to say even if he didn't remember their b'days, my son, his GS was born on his b'day.

He made sure that he kept in close contact with his DD's but not his DS.

When FIL was dying though, we are the ones he wanted to stay with. When I mentioned maybe taking him to one of his DD's home for the day - he went into a state of panic & started saying, that he only wanted to stay with us.

Licchl05 · 11-02-2009, 12:57 PM

My grandparents on my moms side were like this. they'd never come to any function of ours, but if it was my aunt or my uncles kids they'd be there. needless to say i never was close with them and apparently my grandfather is ill but as bad as it sounds, i could care less. he was never interested in my life because i was my moms kid(and my mom is the most successful out of her siblings), so eff them i say!

mom2cvam · 11-02-2009, 01:28 PM

Sounds just like my mother and grandmother. They have time for my sisters kids and my cousins' kids but NEVER have time for my kids. They never came to their bday parties, never called them, nothing. I don't waste my time with them now. They ask what my problem is and I just tell them if they have to ask, it wouldn't do any good for me to explain. They have excuses for everything and nothing is ever their fault. Washing my hands of them was the best thing I did.
I'm sorry your dd was hurt over this. *hugs*

sunniekiss · 11-02-2009, 02:24 PM

DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT go down to that level. You are better than that. Post pictures of your dd party. Sure include a caption of "a good time was had by all" but DO NOT allude to the fact of that some family did not attend. Don't go to that level. Then that also puts your hubby in an awkard position as it does the sister that told you what happened.

Did you send invitations to th party by mail.

If I were you I would type out a family newsletter with picture or 2 from the party & just say due to circumstances beyond your control you regret having to cancel Thanksgiving dinner this year. Offer no other explanations.

If hubby's family owes money, wait until after the holidays. Then have your HUSBAND write his parents a letter concerning the money they owe HIM (don't make it from you). Pick a day 30 days from the date of the letter for them to call your husband to make payment arrangements otherwise HE will be forced to take the matter to small claims. Send it certified with return receipt requested.

Stay as far away from the matter as humanly possible otherwise all of the blame will fall on you.

G/L & Happy Birthday to your dd.

Explorer 4x4'r · 11-02-2009, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunniekiss

DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT go down to that level. You are better than that. Post pictures of your dd party. Sure include a caption of "a good time was had by all" but DO NOT allude to the fact of that some family did not attend. Don't go to that level. Then that also puts your hubby in an awkard position as it does the sister that told you what happened.

If I were you I would type out a family newsletter with picture or 2 from the party & just say due to circumstances beyond your control you regret having to cancel Thanksgiving dinner this year. Offer no other explanations.
G/L & Happy Birthday to your dd.

This sounds reasonable to do.

I myself, would do something similar

whatever · 11-02-2009, 02:59 PM

I'm wondering if maybe they didn't come because they owe you money?
Is that possible? I mean I can't believe they would intentionally hurt they very own grandchild over something so petty whether its the money OR the fact your dh did not call them. But money makes people do strange things.
I agree with some other poster when people owe money they tend to avoid the person they owe........
I'm sorry you daughter got hurt. Its sad she has to pay for whatever the reason......

ttistin · 11-02-2009, 05:20 PM

I do believe it is because they owe us money, they came to our oldest birthday party in September and all was fine. It was all fine until the truck was in their front yard, then we got excuses and then no contact at all. His mother is sending messages about Thanksgiving through his sister to me, even though I had emailed her personally about it.

mosdata1 · 11-02-2009, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ttistin

I do believe it is because they owe us money, they came to our oldest birthday party in September and all was fine. It was all fine until the truck was in their front yard, then we got excuses and then no contact at all. His mother is sending messages about Thanksgiving through his sister to me, even though I had emailed her personally about it.

What messages is she sending about Thanksgiving?

Are you still going to have dinner at your house?