How do you deal with people constantly saying you said something? - Page 3 - Big Big Forums

Vanilla · 10-24-2009, 03:23 PM

Gmyers, read what everyone has posted and let it sink in. If you cut them out of your life and stand up for your family in the process, MAYBE they will see the error of their ways and come back to you and turn over a new leaf. Take control of your life! Take back your power. As of now they hold the power.

gmyers · 10-24-2009, 03:44 PM

I really appreciate every one of ya'lls opinions. You've all helped me many times and told it like it is which I appreciate. I've been going back and forth and trying to make this decision for a long time. Very long time as you all know. I realize now its the only thing I can do if I want to have peace in my life. I'm not saying it'll be easy because I've tried to a lot and went back but this time I'm going to really try to stick to it. If I could just do this I believe my mental and physical health will change for the better. If you would have told me I'd be thinking of doing this ten years ago I would have said no way but now I believe I can. Thank you all for listening. Ya'll have helped me through a lot of really hard times and I appreciate it more than ya'll kmow. If you pray please pray that I can do this.

fleabones3 · 10-24-2009, 07:21 PM

I don't see how you CAN'T not do it. What's so hard about it?? Do you like being treated like chit and having lies told about you?? I mean.. seriously..its not difficult. Noone is holding a gun to your head forcing you to be around these people and have to listen to them. I know I sound mean, but damn, if they havent changed and you stayed away before, then they know they can do what they want and you will keep coming back, just like they say you will. If people are talking chit about MY hubby and kids, they can go piss off because I will NEVER have them around me again. Life is quieter , easier and a lot less stressful this way

pepperpot · 10-24-2009, 07:48 PM

You and your husband deserve better than this. Leave them to themselves and let them devour each other. Good living is the best revenge. Go live your life in peace and happiness and never look back. I did...and I'm in so much of a better place and they are still doing what they do best....which is being miserable. You can do this and it will get better. You can't choose your relatives, but you can choose your friends and you can choose not to be around toxic people, whoever they are.

n2space · 10-24-2009, 08:06 PM

How does your husband feel about you cutting ties with your family? Have you thought about writing each one a letter telling them how you feel about how they've hurt you? Not for them, but for you. Some may regret what they've done when they see it in writing. It could be closure for you to tell each one how you feel about what's been going on.

pepperpot · 10-24-2009, 08:09 PM

Sorry, but I think that would keep them going with more the same for years.

....apparently they couldn't get to her so they moved to her spouse....cut these vultures loose.....and don't give them the satisfaction, they are not worth it.

nightrider127 · 10-24-2009, 09:02 PM

I don't deal with "toxic" people. I will take crap up to a point but once that point is past, there is no going back.

Write these toxic people completely out of your life. You'll feel a lot better when you do.

n2space · 10-24-2009, 09:11 PM

What kind of people are your family? Have they treated others the same way? I bet you wish you'd never been born in that family. I wish you peace and happiness. You should have a lot now that you aren't in it anymore. I hate to see families split up, but I guess it's the right thing to do when you have a family like yours.

shadowcats · 10-26-2009, 03:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by n2space

What kind of people are your family? Have they treated others the same way? I bet you wish you'd never been born in that family. I wish you peace and happiness. You should have a lot now that you aren't in it anymore. I hate to see families split up, but I guess it's the right thing to do when you have a family like yours.

kick them to the curb, i am 54 years old and grew up in a toxic family , long story,,,,,,,, well my nerves are shot an i decided to cut the toxic friends and family out of my life, and now i m getting back to a peaceful life, im sorry for not having a family that normal but thats what everyone feels and i know that no amount of talking or trying to make peace will ever change their ways, so it was up to me to change my situation so i could have peace.
once in a while i check the stats on my family through a trusted sister and then i know i ve done the right thing, if theres and emergency i will contact them but other wise i dont have any thing to do with them , no phone calls no visits nada ,,,,,,,, and dont feel guilty at all.
so remember your life and family are your responsibilty , and only you can let them hurt you ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
so dont feel guilty ,,,,,,,,,,, your life isnt their business , and you have a right to have peace.
been there dont that.

and now im happier than ive been in ten years.

sunniekiss · 10-26-2009, 01:36 PM

Remove the negative people from your life. Change you phone number & return any mail that comes your way.

People who talk trash will do it reguardless of what you say or do. They somehow try to turn the positive into a negative.

Stressing over it will only upset you & it is not worth it. I have cut so many people out of my life it is unreal. There are only 5 people who know my phone number; 2 are my sons & the other is my Mom.

Good luck!

harleyky · 10-26-2009, 09:57 PM

People who make up stories to make others look in a bad light are the ones with low self esteem. It's not you. Tell them to shut the hell up and from then on ignore them.